Say you will love me forever...

move on over to see hope!

2011-05-03T19:14:00.004-04:00

I just started a new blog to share about our journey to our newest daughter, Hope. Follow us here: Our Gift of Hope

be part of a miracle

2011-04-06T11:48:00.003-04:00

Want to be a part of a miracle for an 8 year old boy in Eastern Europe?

Click here.

the agency question

2011-01-04T19:31:00.004-05:00

A few months ago I posted a question here. It's a forum for families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting a child from China.

This was what I wanted to know:

We are thinking/almost ready/I'm pretty sure going to start our 2nd adoption soon. Although I LOVED our previous agency, I am curious to know what other agencies are highly recommended. Please pm w/your recommendations. I'm noticing a somewhat significant difference in costs w/a few agencies. It's hard to match up fees exactly when comparing agencies but from what I can tell they can vary by about $5,000 or more. I'm looking for a lower costing one but don't want to sacrifice service/expertise/communication availability, etc.

I got quite a lot of responses and even more personal emails asking me to share the info that I received. I had planned on cutting/pasting the responses I got but I just never got around to it. Which, by the way, happens to be a common theme in my life by the way. Not. Getting. Around. To. It. Thus the reason Anna's baby book abruptly stops about the time she started crawling and the reason why Nathan doesn't even have a baby book. And it's also the reason why after living in our home for 5 years I have no curtains for 80% of our windows. I've even talked myself into believing that I don't like curtains and don't need them. But the fact is that I do like them. I just have never gotten around to it. But I digress. Speaking of...I think I may change the name of my blog to that. "I digress". What do ya think?! It's kind of how I talk in real life too.

Back to the regularly scheduled program...

Here are the recommendations as well as a few cautionary emails I received. Feel free to comment below if you would like to add any others or extra info.

America World Adoption Agency (AAWA):

*We had a great experience, however I am not sure where they fall on the financial end. We were transferred to them from our small in state agency during the slowdown when our original agency closed. They called all hours with possible referrals and stayed late when we were reviewing sn files. I was impressed with their sn program. They also did an excellent job of counseling us through a couple of referrals we were not able to take on. I don't have to tell you this was very difficult, and they made a point of talking us through the situation. We had a wonderful travel experience.

BAAS:

*My agency is BAAS. The china coordinator is the best!!! I have also heard fantastic things about Madison and Small world as well. I feel like for the special need program the smaller agencies are doing much better working into the night to make matches and all that good stuff. If you use one of these agencies i just don't think you can go wrong.

*We/ve adopted from China 4 times and have used 4 different agencies--go with BAAS (Bay Area Adoption Service). You will be very pleased with Xiaoqing, the China coordinator. She checks the computer from her home office to see if any new kid's files have been added by CCAA--new kids are added all the time, apart from the big shared lists that come out. That's how she found our daughter. We woke to an excited e-mail that said "I think I've found your daughter!" She was exactly what we hoped for! While she is looking for your child, you will also be given access to view the shared list via password protected site, and agency list too, I'm sure, now that the program has changed.

CAWLI (China Adoption With Love):

*Very highly recommended, great reputation, ethical, small, good service, low fees. We are using them again.

*We were 100% satisfied.

CCAI:

*I just came back from China last week adopting our first child, and I will tell you this: the one agency I kept hearing about over and over again was CCAI. Everyone RAVED about them.

*We are using CCAI and we love them so far!

*We are LID 5/29/06 with CCAI- NSN program. Many of my friends have completed a NSN and more so a SN adoption with CCAI. NOT ONE PERSON has a major complaint and most have none. I would highly recommend them- they have been nothing but responsible and ethical- during this whole wait. I do believe that it has been hard for all agencies to get through this slow down- but they have done a great job.

*We are with CCAI...I LOVE them. They have been beyond fantastic. I NEVER wait more than 24 hours for a return email (communication is a big deal for me...) I really can't say enough good about them.

Children's Hope International:

*We really liked our agency - Children's Hope International. In fact, we will be a partner family with them and host an information meeting in our home this Fall. We were pleased with all of the organization of our referral and our trip.

FTIA:

*LOVE - FTIA

*Love love LOVE FTIA. My mom used them when adopting my sister in 2000. We used them in adopting our daughter in 2005. Used them, again, when we signed up for Nepal. They were super honest w/ us about the program and we soon realized it was not for us. We left that program. Ended up moving to the Taiwan program of another agency. If we were going to China, though, no doubt that we'd be back with FTIA. They held our hand the entire way and continue to keep up w/ us all these years later.

Holt International:
*They were fabulous.

Lifeline:

*We love, love, love Lifeline! I can't imagine there being a better agency!

*We are going through Lifeline Adoption (http://www.lifelineadoption.org/). They are wonderful! We started the process in February and were DTC on 8/20/2010! Lifeline has a track record of matching their clients within 1-2 months of being LID. Another agency that is good is Madison Adoption. They match quickly as well.

Living Hope:

*We loved our agency.

Madison Adoption Agency:

*We are on our 2nd adoption and LOVE LOVE LOVE our agency this time around! We are using Madison- they are a bit more than others I think, but really wonderful, amazing, hard working women who will go to bat for you to help make families. They are what happens when an agency is run with their hearts, not with their pocketbooks!

*They really are awesome people. I hear so many horror stories from friends about their agencies. Madison really is in it for the kids.

*LOVED our agency...Madison Adoption Associates

*We are with Madison Adoption Associates and can not recommend them enough! They are beyond fabulous. Seriously! This is our 3rd adoption and 3rd agency, and we will never switch from Madison. I had an urgent home study question on a Saturday afternoon, and emailed Diana the SN coordinator with my question, fully expecting to have to wait until Monday for a response. She emailed me back on a SATURDAY NIGHT a 11 PM her time with the answer! She is amazing! It was started by Aleda Madison, and she is now joined by her daughter Diana and a few others. They don't just do this for a job - they are adoptive families themselves. Aleda adopted two children and Diana and her husband have a dossier in China right now. They live this stuff.

Small World Adoption:

*We absolutely LOVE our agency -- Small World Adoption. Their web site is www.swa.net They are very proactive with matching families off the shared list (wait time is usually less than one month for a referral), are professional and knowledgeable, will do all your paper certifications and authentications if you want them to, and their staff in China is F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S.! We are in the process for our third adoption with them (sixth China adoption over all). I would never use another agency at this point.

*We are using Small World and I love them! They have been excellent. Upfront and honest.Kind. I think, there are a few who have slightly lower agency fees, but they have never once asked us for money. Never. Will absolutely use them again.

WASATCH:

*My agency was wasatch adoptions. The only thing I didn't like was how they did travel arrangement. They have someone in CA doing it and there was always a break in communication.

Here are are a few "cautionary" emails I received:

*Whichever agency you choose, please stay away from Adoption Ark. I beg you. They do not do China but many other programs.

*We have not been happy with CCAI...chinese children adoption international....they have great reviews...but we feel they are not working for us, not aggressive, and have done things that are unforgivable.....we still aren't matched...after 18 months.

*We just got back from China for our adoption and I won't be using our agency again. Great Wall China Adoptions for these reason. Very Very slow on returning phone calls or emails during the referral stage(sometime at least a week!)I don't think that they work very hard trying to match people. I think they are one of the more expensive agencies in regards to travel. They tried to charge me quadruple rate for the train to Hong Kong. They were good in the dossier phase and the travel coordinator was easy to deal with and I thought our guides were good. But I know there are better agencies out there.

*My first agency was Americans Adopting Orphans and they are only suitable for families who will happily sit blindly by and never ask a single question and not doubt it when your agency says "it will happen sometime..."- they HIGHLY discouraged communication between families and on Internet forums, and HATED when we asked questions that showed we understood the process. seriously, they are horrid...stay far far away from them......

Our agency recommendations:

I will close this by adding that we used All God's Children for Caleb's adoption. We were actually very happy with them and I would highly recommend them especially if you've never adopted before. They pretty much hold your hand through every process. There were just a few reasons why we even looked into other agencies to begin with. AGCI's fees were a bit higher than some others. And I was looking for an agency that had more connections among the families who were in the process of adopting. AGCI seemed to have a large number of families that were adopting from Ethiopia and not so many from China. I was looking for an agency that really specialized in China adoptions, in particular special needs adoptions.

We ended up choosing Madison Adoption Agency this time. And I will say that one of the nicer things about them is that they mostly communicate through their private yahoo group and email. If I have a question, I send an email or post a question on the yahoo group and I get a response within minutes every time. They have a very small office staff which I like. If we call we are never directed to voicemail or put on hold or shuffled through some large phone system. It feels like you're calling a family member. And ditto to all of the above positive comments. They have been wonderful and I'd highly recommend them!

listen to those left behind

2010-10-02T16:04:00.015-04:00

Hello. For those of you who don't remember me, let me introduce myself. Again. I'm Julia. I like to write it as "julia" b/c capitalizing on the keyboard makes me crazy. And b/c I tend to mis-type my name 90% of the time (usually it ends up as "juila) and the capitalizing always pushes me to 100% failure. And that's annoying...to misspell your own name. But I digress. I do that a lot. I think it's the fact that for the last 12 and 1/2 years I've been a stay at home mom and I tend to always get side-tracked in my actions and thoughts. It translates into not so great paragraph structure.

I'm writing here for the first time in months b/c I actually have something to write about. Again. Adoption! That's right. We're starting our 2nd adoption for our 5th child. Does five sound like a lot? Because it does to my husband and for some reason does not to me. I think it may be b/c I have a lot of homeschool friends and they tend to have larger than average families. So 5 doesn't seem that crazy. Andy, however, lives among the "real world" and out there people tend to think 4 kids is a crazy big family. So he is always hearing, "Oh. 4 kids. That's a lot." And I rarely hear that and even less rarely (I know, so not good grammar) think that. I find the whole thing fascinating...that "big family" is such a relative term.

Anyone who knows me for say, 5 minutes, probably knows that I was ready to go "back to China again to adopt" before we even got on the plane to get Caleb. I just knew that once I came face to face w/a real live orphan, once I touched the hand of child who had never known what a mother's hand felt like, once I walked through an orphanage, once I saw how many kids we would walk away from and leave behind, I could not NOT go back. I could not look at my life and say, "Nope. No more room. We're full. We're busy. We're done." I just could not say that. And trust me, all signs point to us being done. Our 4 bedrooms are full. Our van is almost full. Our calendar is generally full. Our kitchen table perfectly sits 6 and looks full. Our bank account, however, is definitely not full. So we have many, many reasons to be done.

But one of the many reasons why I can not say no is heard in this video. Andy took this on the day we met Caleb in his orphanage last summer. We were walking down the hallway and we heard these lovely voices singing in the background. We peaked into the door and what we saw you won't be able to see b/c we weren't allowed to take any video of the children there. But the image is etched in my mind forever and I'm pretty sure the sound will be etched in your mind as you listen. I can almost guarantee it.

What you don't see is a "classroom" of children standing on a small stage in a room that mimics a school gymnasium. The kids were elementary aged and were standing all tall and proud and were singing. For no one. For absolutely no one. The gym was empty. It should have been full of chairs w/doting parents looking on. But there weren't any parents. In fact, there were no chairs. Because no one was coming to hear them sing. And no one would ever hear their beautiful song. Their voices were echoing through hallways. Hallways that were always full of children and never full of parents. And I whispered to Andy, "No one is coming." And I cried. And that, my friend, is one of the many reasons why we're going back to China. How can we not?

you'd think i'd have this perfected by now

2010-08-09T09:27:00.006-04:00

We started our official school year last week. Kara is in 7th grade, Anna is in 6th, Nathan in 2nd, and Caleb in pre-K. You would think that after all these years of homeschooling I'd have things figured out by now, right? Well, I do know what DOESN'T work. I guess that's a start! And I do know that no matter what I'll spend hours and hours researching and contemplating curriculum choices year after year after year. Well, except for Math. That one is a no-brainer. I did find the perfect math program for all of my kids several years ago and it's a keeper. That program is written in black permanent Sharpie ink in my mind every year. All the other subjects are in pencil.

And for all my homeschool curriculum obsessed friends...here are my 2010 winners. Enjoy! (All others may sign off now b/c you'll be bored to death!)

6th/7th grade:

Math U See. LOVE IT. Can't say enough good things about it. Worth every single penny. And it's not cheap, so that's saying a lot. I'd pay twice as much for it if I had to. But don't tell anyone that.

Alpha Omega's Switched on Schoolhouse Science and Bible. Once upon a time I swore, swore, SWORE I would never use DVDs or the computer as part of my children's school. Nope. That was what lazy moms did. And things like that ruined their creative minds. Well, I'll just say that "never" has come and my girls and I love this computer curriculum. If you have more than one child, it may become your best friend too. The Bible curriculum is good for learning Bible content and history. It's not easy. It's a ton of work. This is the second year the girls will be doing it. I wasn't going to buy it b/c we already had the "Who is God?" book (see below). But Anna BEGGED to continue on w/this one as well. Who can say no to a child begging to do extra Bible?! Kara, on the other hand, didn't beg so much. But she is doing it as well. The science is also not easy at all. The girls had gone through most of the Apologia science books and I was looking for a change last year. They both liked this. So we're doing another year of it. Then it will probably/maybe be back to Apologia.

Apologia's new Who Is God Biblical Worldview. Oh my goodness this one is good. It's the first in a series of books from Apologia. I love it. My kids love it. It's that good. Get it. This is a MUST HAVE book for all families. Homeschool or not. It's a great book to go through together as a family.

Notgrass's America the Beautiful. This hasn't even been published yet but is supposed to be out this month. I check my email everyday in hopes of getting an "It's done!" email from them. I'm pretty sure it's going to be worth the wait. I saw a rough copy of it back in the spring at a homeschool convention. I loved it. I was actually looking at their high school curriculum and was falling in love with it...as much as one can fall in love w/curriculum. Some of you know what I'm saying here, right?! Anyway, I loved how it blended history, literature and bible all in one. Three subjects in one?! Now that's speaking my love language!

Latina Christiana. Can't say much about this mostly due to the fact that I don't teach it and have no idea what the kids are learning. They have passed me up in my Latin expertise (uh, that wasn't hard b/c I know no Latin!). This is a DVD curriculum w/a workbook. I do purchase the extra activity book that goes along w/it (Ludere Latin). They all have answer keys and that's how I stay involved. I grade the work. I have no idea WHAT I'm grading, but I do. If I have questions, I ask Anna. She loves Latin.

Diagramming Step by Step. The girls had been using Rod & Staff's Building Christian English Skills for the past few years and I just kind of got tired of it. As did they. It's a great curriculum but it didn't vary a lot from year to year. I'll use it later on for Nathan b/c it was good. But this year I wanted to focus more on sentence diagramming for the girls. I bought this Step by Step book at the homeschool convention as soon as I spotted it. We'll see how it works out. It gets pretty intense so it may take longer than a year to get through.

IEW's Student Writing Intensive. If you're looking for a great writing program, this is it. Zero teacher prep time. Need I say more?!

2nd grade:

Mystery of History. Started this last year w/Nathan but never finished it. It's good. Really good. And I'm determined to make the time to teach it this year. I used Story of the World for the girls. It was good but wasn't strong on incorporating Bible history into the text. My plan is to use Mystery of History for a few years and then switch to Story of the World when Nathan is a bit older and will be able to appreciate/comprehend it a little better.

Writing With Ease. Just discovered this. Bought the wrong level so we haven't started it. But I'm very excited about this one. Again, no teacher prep. Open it up and begin. My kind of teaching!

Math U See. See above.

Easy Grammar. Tried and true. Used this for the girls years ago. Easy. Good.

Spelling Workout. Your typical spelling book. Doesn't work magic but is good for your average spelling student. Ick. Spelling. It's kind of like cleaning the dishes. You just have to do it. Nothing special or exciting. Just needs to get done.

Apologia's Exploring Creation w/Astronomy. Love this. My kids love this. We pretty much read it and enjoy it. They do keep a notebook. Perfect for elementary/middle grades.

Studying God's Word. Good book for independent Bible study. My kids have all enjoyed this series. The only bad thing is that the verses are all in KJV. I ended up buying a KJV paperback Bible so they wouldn't be so frustrated w/the crossword puzzles/games.

Flashmaster. If you've made it this far, I've saved one of my best homeschool finds to last. Flashmaster. It's basically an electronic flashcard/calculator. It's how all of my kids have learned their math facts. Great to take in the car or use when at doctor appointments/etc. All of my kids started out thrilled about doing this but w/in a few weeks dreaded it. Again, it's kind of like doing dishes. Not a lot of joy in it. But it's necessary. If you are at a loss as to how to get your kids to practice their math facts, get this. It's worth the price.

the long awaited april post

2010-04-30T14:21:00.006-04:00

Just noticed that I hadn't posted anything since last month. And I could not let the whole month of April go by without a post. Cause that would be tragic for all of you. Right, mom. And whomever else out there still checks this.

All of my real-life friends are always asking how things are going with Caleb. And I never quite know how to sum it up. Because I could go on and on about how much progress he's made and how clever he is and how much he makes us laugh each day and how much weight he's gained (12 pounds since June! 10 of them were w/in the first 6 months of being home), how quickly he's learned English, and on and on. But I don't. I usually keep it simple and just say, "Great." Because that pretty much is the truth. I'm telling you, he is THE happiest kid ever. And I'm not sure how we managed to get the cutest boy in all of China, but we did. Or the smartest boy in all of China. Or the funniest. But he is all of that and more. Now, don't get me wrong, he's not exactly perfect. And his siblings will let you know that about 6 times a day (x3 siblings = a whole lot of tattling and bickering). Just this morning I woke up to the sounds of sibling bickering. So, as I said, he fits in perfectly. He holds his own among two very mothering and sometimes overbearing sisters and a brother who 1/2 the time just wants his little brother to leave him alone. And pick up his side of the room. Yes, that brings up Caleb's biggest problem. He completely trashes our house. And he does it in such a quiet sort of way that none of us realize what he's done until it's way too late. His latest tactic to "leave his mark" in every possible place and way?...He takes the hinged handles on my dresser and lifts them up. Each and every one of them. I'm not quite sure what the fascination is with drawer handles is, but he just can not resist the temptation. And cars and pennies. I find pennies and matchbox cars ev.er.y.where. His most clever place to leave them? Inside my shoes. I'll pick up my shoes to put them on and sure enough, I generally hear a ratt-a-tat-tat kind of rustling sound. I am getting pretty good at distinguishing between money and plastic cars. So, there you have it. A little known fact about him. And me. He has obsessions w/drawer handles and hiding cars. I can shake a shoe and tell you if I have money or cars in it. Random. Huh?!

i don't want my kids to be happy

2010-03-21T15:10:00.006-04:00

Ok, I know this is yet another "go read someone else's blog" post. But I have to do it again. Because it's that good.

You must read this. Because it's good. And true.

It's about a fairly common thought/concern/question that quite a few people bring up when discussing adoption. It's the "what about college" question. Well, to be quite honest w/you...Andy and I have asked ourselves that exact same question more than once over the past 12 years. Adoption or not. One kid. Or four. And my thoughts have always been pretty much what Missy so clearly writes on her blog "It's almost nap time."

Hope you enjoy the perspective as much as I do.

dear orphan

2010-03-02T12:54:00.006-05:00

I read this post on One More Ladybug and it made me think of how our actions (and inaction) speak so much louder than our words...

Dear Orphan~

I saw your photo today. You are so adorable!
Your eyes are so deep and full of hope.

I love your little smile.
I know it must be hard some days to find
the strength to smile.
I have heard how little food you have,
but you are still willing to share
with your friends.
What a sweet little person you are!

But, I am writing this letter to tell you that I will
not be able to help you.
You see, my family is happy with the life we
are living.
I know that we could get bunk beds and you could
share a room with one of our bio kids,
but really,
that is no life for either of you.
We have so much going on around here and
life would just be too chaotic.

Our neighbors just got a new TV and game system,
we really think we need to have one too.
I have a 'ladies night out' next week and
I have nothing to wear.
I really need to purchase a new outfit.
I guess I could sponsor you...
but,
it will have to wait til next month,
I really need that new outfit
and my kids are dying for some fast food tonight.

Good luck to you!

Feeling a bit too comfortable

2010-02-14T22:47:00.008-05:00

Reading blogs can be a waste of time.

But sometimes you "meet" a person who inspires you. Humbles you. Challenges you. And makes you wonder if your life is way too comfortable.

I'm speaking of a young girl who has given up just about everything in her life to follow God's calling. She lives in Africa and is raising 14 children. She recently posted some of the most convicting and challenging words I have ever read. Ever. You'll be much better off reading her words than mine today. You can meet her here amazima

no award for me today

2010-01-14T13:51:00.004-05:00

First of all, let me start by saying that I've been on blogger hiatus for such a long time that I'm not sure there is anyone even reading this. I almost titled this post "helloooooooo, anyone out there?" But, for what it's worth, I'm back. At least for today. Probably tomorrow and the next few days too. I am having dental surgery tomorrow and will pretty much be laying (or is it lying? that is one verb I can never get right) around all weekend so I should have plenty of time to get some cute Caleb photos up here as well as recap some of what's been going on around our home.

I had a moment today that was worth posting. I needed to run to the store and my list was random enough to warrant not going to the grocery but to my favorite-of-all-time-but-ends-up-costing-me-10-times-more-than-I-should-be-spending-store Target. I rarely go there anymore b/c my list of 10 things usually ends up becoming a cart full of 50 things that I didn't even realize that I needed until that very moment. And the bill is never less than shockingly "too much". But today was different. I needed things like light bulbs, food, paper products, and b-day gifts for friends of the girls. Bottom line: I ended up at Target and was thoroughly enjoying it. Well, as much as one can w/4 kids in tow. Anyway, toward the end I was getting a bit grumpy b/c I couldn't find several of my "must have" items on my list and I was going to have to make another stop at a "real" grocery store and my purpose for even going to Target was to get all my things at one place. Mission not accomplished.

So I am standing in line. The nice lady at the check-out says, "Oh, is school out today? I've seen a lot of kids lately." I'm a bit grumpy b/c I'm thinking about having to stand in line again at the grocery store across the street so I am not exactly in my happy/friendly place and answer w/a fairly short, "No. They're not." Silence. So I add, "We homeschool." And she says, in a really friendly kind of way, "Oh, do you make shopping into a school experience?!" And, fortunately, what I am thinking stays in my head and I simply say, "No. We just needed to go the store." I wasn't in the mood for hanging out and talking homeschool talk at that moment. Just wasn't. Usually I'm nice like that but not then. So she says something to the effect of, "Well, sometimes when I take my nephew to the store we make it all fun and I have him tally up the cost of everything and guess how much the bill will be. There are so many lessons in shopping." I just swipe my card and look down. Cause I'm really thinking, "Hey, lady. I just needed paper towels and light bulbs, ok? Nothing homeschooling about it. I mean, I guess if I wanted Homeschool Mom of The Year I might do that. But today, I'm just a mom needing toilet paper."

By the time I get to the parking lot and start unloading my things into the van I just started laughing and I asked the kids if they heard it all. They did. And I burst out laughing. There was a time in my life when I would have been all about promoting the homeschool family and making sure that the nice lady knew that my kids had, indeed, done school in the morning and we were just taking a break but it was back to school when they got home and how lovely it is to share these moments together and how wonderful it is that we can spend leisure time together during the days AND in the evenings b/c we finish school in record time and have no homework and la, la, la, la. But today I'm the mom who secretly wishes I could go to Target BY MY SELF during the day like all the other moms that I run into there. So, definitely no Homeschool Mom Award for me today. Or ever probably. But I'm fine w/it. Awards just get dusty on a shelf and end up getting thrown away anyway, right?

Oh, and as we were all in grocery store #2 a few minutes later, there was a large display of Bugle corn chips on sale for a dollar. I LOVE those things and say, "Look, kids! Kara, pick one up." Kara gets giddy and says, "Oh! Bu(insert short "u" symbol here)gles!." And I start laughing and say, "BUUUUgles, Kara, Bugles. Not Buggggles." And then I tell her that we COULD, just COULD make a phonics lesson out of it since we ARE a homeschool family. And all of us start laughing. Except, of course, Caleb. He is oblivious to any of it and is still asking if he can open his valentine stickers that I bought him back at Target.

Calling all facebook-ers

2010-01-12T14:48:00.003-05:00

If you are on Facebook, PLEASE take a look at this video and vote for Half The Sky starting on Friday, January 15th. It's worth a million dollars. For real.

This is the organization that works in Caleb's orphanage as well as others throughout China. They could be working in every orphanage in China if they win this. So go and vote!

if you have 4 minutes

2009-12-17T21:40:00.003-05:00

Remembering how we felt this time last year...

And praying for all the children who are still waiting for someone to call them their own...

Homeschooling

2009-10-15T15:04:00.005-04:00

Homeschooling at its best....

History timeline project (this had been on my "to do" list for the kids for 3 years!)

Behold, a child at her desk. Am I dreaming the best dream ever?!

Look at this cutie trying to "do (s)kool" like his brother and sisters...

Yes, I would say that is a masterpiece, wouldn't you?!

The best part of any school day...

waiting for Daddy to come home.

the reasons why

2009-09-17T11:59:00.014-04:00

I started this post a few weeks ago. Hasn't gotten finished until today.

Ahh, here sits my lonely computer. It's missing me. See the mess all around it? The MESS is constantly calling me...Pick me up. Organize me. Make things all better in the kitchen. I hear these things. I swear I do. See the open calendar there? It's begging me to cross something off. Pleading really. And sadly, blogging isn't on my calendar. I'm about ready to put it on there. For real.

Welcome to my new life.

I love it. I really do. But my life + blogging doesn't really add up nicely together right now. Thus the reason for my hiatus. See, funny thing is that I had tons of time to spend on my blog while waiting for Caleb but nothing really to write about b/c life seemed to just stand still. Now I have tons of really great Caleb-stuff to write about and little time to do it.

Other than the voices I hear calling me in the kitchen, this is what's been getting in the way of my leisure time on bloggerland...

A house full of things to do and what is seeming like less and less time to do them. More specifically, a house full of random cars, trucks, planes, and trains to welcome you as you walk in our front door...

And hidden in every corner of every room. Really. Not exaggerating here...

Oh, wait { } insert cute pic of Caleb here to remind me that all of those random car messes have been lovingly placed there by one loved boy!

Of course, I have a system that would take care of all of the random cars lying around throughout the house. There is a designated basket for anything with wheels. Here it is on a good day. Full.

It generally doesn't look like this. It's usually nearly empty and the floor of our house is littered w/cars. I'm telling you....it's a miracle none of us have broken a leg. Plenty of stubbed toes. No broken bones. Yet.

On to beds. Never made.

And one of the main reasons they are never made is b/c when I actually attempt to make them, I generally get side-tracked by laundry.

And to make every little detail in my life take just a few minutes longer...Caleb has apparently decided that his laundry basket would be a good bookshelf. Mind you, the actual bookshelf and book basket (TWO systems in place, TWO!!) are just inches away from his laundry basket. But he seems to think that his books fit nicely in his laundry basket. Cute, huh? Maybe cute in 10 years for me. Not now.

Then, the never ending saga of the school books...
They are everywhere in this house. The stairs, the couch, the kitchen table, my bedroom, my closet, everywhere. Well, everywhere except on a school desk.

The kitchen. Need I say more?

It is a never ending "to do" list for me. I'm not sure that will ever change. As soon as I call it done in there the battle begins all over again. Good thing I like my kitchen because I spend the majority of my day in it. One of my "I'm gonna do this if it kills me" goals of each day is to have dinner ready when Andy walks in the door. And then he cleans it up! Well, he and the kids. They all have a cleaning party after dinner and I get a few minutes on my computer w/out interruption. Good thing/Bad thing: They have such a good system going on that they're done way before I'd like. I'm not complaining. I'm just not blogging as much b/c of it!

The basement. I dare go down there. More of the same.

However, there is one small space down there that is making me smile. Ahhh...all organized. Gives me hope.

And a random fact for today...

As I was standing in the kitchen deciding which task to tackle first, Anna pops up in front of me and says, "Mom, this is how many pages I've read since August." Because, bless her heart, she's keeping track of how many pages she's read, not how many books. Because, you know, a book might be 100 pages or it could be 300 pages and who would want to know that you just read two books. It is MUCH better to know how many pages. Isn't it? Yes, Anna. In some weird sort of way, I get ya. It's a system. And I like it. And such is my life right now. Doesn't leave much time for significant blogging.

still here!

2009-08-28T14:07:00.004-04:00

A quick photo update on our life.

One lost tooth:

One very happy 4 year old who is spoiled rotten by his sisters.

This is Anna's beloved "Claire" bear and she even allows Caleb to sleep with it if he asks.

Anna has even been letting Caleb play with her digital camera.

Little does Caleb know how huge this is. Anna...joyfully sharing with a brother? Huh? Bizarre. But true.

Can you tell Caleb took this photo?!

And apparently Anna discovered "sepia" setting on her camera. Lovely, huh? Wait....is that a school book in the background (above AND below!)? I thought Kara was quietly being studious upstairs in her room.

Uh, ya. Definitely a school book here. And from the looks of things...not one studious child here. Not one.

bad shoe choice for state fair

2009-08-13T14:35:00.007-04:00

Although our state fair involves plenty of my top 10 things in life that I could do without (heat, humidity, animals, heat, crowds, heat, foods that seem like a good thing at the time yet inevitably end up making me feel sick and several pounds heavier, heat, and...need I go on?!) we have made it a yearly tradition in our family. I'll just say that the pictures always turn out way cuter and perfect looking than I am ever feeling at the moment. Last night it was my shoes. I hate walking around the fair in flip flops or sandals b/c there are just too many nasty things on the ground. But I also hate wearing anything BUT sandals/flip flops in the summer b/c I'm always hot and having my feet feel hot as well generally puts me over the edge. And over the edge is not a happy place for me to be or for my family to have to be around. So I had this dilemma last night. Cool flip flops + nasty animal crud on my feet or semi-tennis shoes + clean but hot feet. I chose the latter and it ended up not being the best option. My semi-tennis shoes that LOOKED fairly cute and were supposed to keep me from feeling dirty and hot ended up giving me blisters about 1/2 an hour into the evening. We were there for over 4 hours. AND....I nearly had blisters on my hands too b/c the stinking stroller that we used for the first time was nearly impossible to steer. So although I spent most of the time complaining about how hot it was (it was SUPPOSED to be just 82 degrees yesterday...no way. it was NOT that cool at the fair.) and how much my feet and hands hurt, it was still fun. Sort of. In a hot, miserable kind of way.

Of course, none of these photos would ever make you think that we had anything less than a grand time last night. The kids had a fabulous time. And maybe in a few years I'll look at these and think that I did too...

Really. Does it get any sweeter than this next one? Caleb is in his happy place with two of his favorite things in life: things with wheels and his thumb.

More wheels...this time without his thumb!

And the fair wouldn't really be quite as fun without our friends the Shanks.

can you even believe?!

2009-08-07T14:22:00.005-04:00

Really. Is it even possible that this scared, frowny faced boy is our Caleb?

Just look at him now!

Sweet as could be...

and obsessed with anything that has wheels.

He even spotted a blue Honda Odyssey the other day and started freaking out in a crazy excited kind of way b/c that is the car Mama drives and it rocked his world that there would be another person driving it. He kept yelling things in Chinese and pointing to the other van and then pointing to me (I was driving at the time) and seemed all confused yet somewhat giddy about the fact that there was another car JUST LIKE HIS MOM'S CAR and someone else was driving it. Hilarious, huh? He certainly thought so.

Here is a rare family photo of all six of us.

It was from the VBS kick-off at church the other week. And, boy did Caleb love VBS. In fact, we have the CD with all the songs from the week and we use it as his wake-up music on his CD alarm clock, which, by the way, has solved all of his sleeping (or rather non-sleeping!) issues. I'm telling you, Caleb is one smart boy. We spent about 15 minutes trying to tell him that he has to stay in bed until the music comes on. Not an easy task considering we don't speak the same languages! So we did some creative role-playing/acting to try and get the message across. And, by golly, that boy got it. Even if he is wide awake, he just lays in bed waiting for his music to come on. And when it does, he jumps out of bed, comes running down the hall w/this huge grin on his face and yells, "All done night night" complete with all of the role-playing hand gestures that we used to teach him what to do in the first place. He closes his eyes and "lays" his head on his hands and then pops up his head and opens his eyes and starts dancing. Then I have to follow him back to his room so he can dance and sing and do all the motions to the song. Every day, twice a day, without fail. Can I just say that we are blessed beyond blessed? Because we are. Immensely.

Oh, and I almost forgot to share this one. Caleb got tubes in his ears this week. The surgery was quick and easy (for him and for us). This picture was from bath time the day of the surgery. When he awoke from his anesthesia, the nurses told me the first thing he said was "Mama." It warmed my heart.

one month

2009-07-24T13:13:00.004-04:00

Caleb has been home for exactly one month. Seems like he has been part of our family for much longer. He just fits. Doesn't hurt that he is beyond cute (don'tcha think?!!)and has one of the sweetest little voices you've ever heard. Even if we have no idea WHAT he is saying most of time!

He said his first English phrase about a week ago: "every letter makes a sound" from the Leap Frog Learning Letters and Sounds DVD. He sings that phrase over and over (with a Chinese accent!). So STINKIN cute! He still hates naps. This afternoon was the first time ever that he didn't throw a massive crying fit when I laid him down. Thank goodness! A month of daily nap battles has been my limit. Now we need to get him to sleep ALL the way through the night and not just until 3 or 4 or 5 or even 6am. All are way too early for this mama. I bought a CD alarm clock this week for him. We are trying to teach him to stay in his bed until the music starts playing. I think that after only three days he has finally understood! We're hopeful for longer naps and nights.

Summer break is dwindling away and I'm definitely not ready to go back to work (so to speak!). I am almost caught up on laundry from our beach vacation last week and am now faced with having to get school started soon. I usually like to start by August 1st, however, considering that I still haven't ordered all of the curriculum, it isn't looking too promising that we'll make that date this year. Where has the summer gone? Oh ya, it went to China. And South Carolina. And a few weeks got lost somewhere in there too. Maybe a trip to Target to buy some new school supplies will get me excited about it?! I DO love new pencils and journals and Post It Notes and colored folders and new crayons and...

We did have a wonderful vacation at the beach. We all needed some time to bond together as a family and just hang out together.

So our not so perfectly timed vacation ended up being just about perfect. And thanks to the generosity of my parents, it was about as cheap as a vacation as we could do (which was good b/c a night out for ice cream for a family of six costs about $20.00. YIKES!).

And, lest you think that our real life is drama-free or always as cute as the pictures I choose to post here on my blog...

This is what the first day looked like for Caleb. A lot of this

and a little of this...

Before he finally warmed up to the idea of the beach (and all of it's sand and scary crashing waves!).

currently...

2009-07-16T20:43:00.002-04:00

on vacation...

When we planned our family vacation last year we thought we'd be in China in the winter...possibly spring at the latest. NEVER, NEVER did we think we'd be in China in June. So our mid July yearly vacation w/my parents and brother's family seemed doable. Well, as it turned out just as I had unpacked and caught up on laundry it was time to pack again for our beach vacation. It has turned out to be a really good thing. It has been nice to just relax as a family. More pictures to follow later.

a rainy 4th of July

2009-07-09T14:47:00.005-04:00

This is what our 4th of July ended up looking like...from our garage.

It rained just about all day long. So we spent several hours in the garage. Lovely, huh?! Actually, the kids couldn't have been happier. Caleb was thrilled with the fact that he was wearing Daddy's work gloves.

Add:
a purple umbrella.
and a plastic pumpkin.
and a bike that you can't ride b/c the training wheels are lost.

and two sisters and a brother to enjoy it all with

and it ends up being a really great day. Even in the garage.

i'm glad i didn't know

2009-07-02T14:42:00.010-04:00

We took Caleb to his first doctor appointment yesterday with the international adoption specialist. The bottom line: he looks great! His immunization records are superior and his current stats (height, weight, developmental milestones) are GREAT. Aside from a slightly awkward shaped head (from laying on his back for nearly the first 15 months of his life), he looks much like any other 4 year old boy. He loved being poked and prodded by the doctor. Really. He just smiled and giggled and thought it was so fun. The doctor couldn't get over how easy going and happy he was. She said that the other doctors will just LOVE him. Most kids aren't so thrilled to be examined!

Which brings me to my next point: other doctors. We have a LONG list of doctors and specialists to visit. Most involve getting opinions of when/how to further correct his cleft palate and lip. Here is the current list of appointments I now need to set up:

pediatrician - dentist - orthodontist - ear/nose/throat - craniofacial - plastic surgery - speech pathologist - and, believe it or not, a few others...

So, ya. I'll be busy running around and sitting in medical offices for the next few months. And you know what I thought when I left the hospital yesterday with this huge list of doctors to contact? I'm so glad that I wasn't told this last year b/c I'm not quite sure I would have signed up for this. I'm pretty sure that if I had been told that Caleb would require so many specialists, doctor appointments, and surgical procedures I may have said no. I may have thought it was too much. Too much time. Too much emotional stress. Too much money. Too much for me to handle. But you know what? It isn't. It's what our son needs and that's pretty much it. We'll do what needs to be done.

So today I'm thankful for what I didn't know a year ago. To think that we could have said no to a list of medical issues and missed out on this sweet thing...!

home at last!

2009-06-28T22:21:00.005-04:00

We survived the plane ride home. This was one of the happier moments. Not many more after that. Caleb was either sleeping, eating, or throwing a massive fit about sitting in his seat. But we all survived. Enough about that. Thank goodness!

We got home about 10:30 or 11pm Wed night and after trying out his bed, Caleb decided he'd rather sleep with Anna in her bed. Lucky for him, she let him.

Our first dinner together at home...spilled water and all!

The kids are all wearing "big brother/big sister" tees we bought in China. Caleb's hat says "little brother" in Chinese and his shirt says "Made in China"...I found it too cute!
First time swimming. He wasn't too fond of it at first, but LOVED it after a while.

He loved the swimming goggles so much that he wore them for most of the day...

I'll write more later but as of now, my head is foggy and not right from jet lag. I can't sleep at night and can't stay awake during the day. Hopefully Andy and I will be back to normal in a few days. The kids are all doing great.

Goodnight from China

2009-06-23T16:49:00.008-04:00

Well, here I sit on our last night in China and although I'm ready to go home and sleep in my own bed, see my kids in real life and not just through a computer (what would life be like w/o Skype?!), and get back to a normal routine, I am still a bit sad to leave here. Ok, so some of it has to do with the fact that normal for me involves cooking and cleaning and I haven't had to do any of that for the last 15 days. But most of it has to do with this strange sense of finality that leaving here has. Our long journey is about over. Yet, the real work and journey is just beginning.

We just said goodbye to the family that we have been traveling with for the last 2 weeks and it was harder than I expected. Caleb and his little friend happily waved goodbye to each other neither knowing what it really meant. But we did. And they giggled and waved while we cried.

So tomorrow morning we leave our hotel at 5:30am (that alone almost gives me a headache) for a 3 hour flight to Beijing. We'll spend about 5 hours hanging out at the airport (which actually sounds a bit, just a bit, enjoyable b/c it's at least air conditioned and has more places to walk than up and down crowded Chinese streets!) before our l-o-n-g flight to Chicago...and then customs and then one more very short flight home. Andy felt a bit motion sick during our 30 minute bus ride today to our oath ceremony. Not a very good sign of things to come for him. Could be a very interesting 24+hours! If I'm not going crazy (which is very, very likely), I'll try and take photos of it all. I'm hoping for a non-eventful easy going travel time. Again, not very likely considering how Caleb handled the 2 hour flight last week.

And speaking of "oath ceremony"...that's what we had today. We weren't allowed to bring in any cameras so I don't even have a picture to document the big moment. The word "ceremony" was probably not the correct word to describe what it was. In a nutshell, we drove to the US Consulate in Guangzhou where about 50 (or so? I'm really bad at guesstimating numbers) other adoptive families were as well. We stood in a line. Then another line. Then listened to a lady tell us info that was typed on a piece of paper we had just received and then we stood up and said something to the effect of "I promise to take care of and never abandon this child" and that was it. No photo opps, no music, no nothing that would make it kind of like a ceremony. In fact, Andy missed the oath part b/c he was taking Caleb to the bathroom for the 4th time (in about 20 minutes). Definitely another non-Hallmark kind of moment. Very strange. But the 7 minute "ceremony" made everything official. And that is good. Weird. But good.

And so as not leave on a weird kind of note, let me add a few pictures from our last days in China...

This is how Caleb "sits" sometimes. It is just how he squatts while using the squatty potty. I think it is so cute!

Caleb and his friend Ru Sheng...what you can't see is their prized possessions around their necks: a generic Barbie play phone and a purple and pink broken plastic guitar. They both carried them around their necks for the majority of the week as if they were the luckiest boys in the world.

The next are quite blurry b/c the humidity fogs up my camera really bad. They are all three pictures of brides having their photos taken. The custom in China is to have wedding photos taken well before the actual wedding day. The place where we are staying has European style buildings and pretty gardens all around so it is a popular place for wedding photos. I wish I had taken a picture of every bride and groom we saw while here. Too many to count and the dresses were lovely.

The view of Guangzhou

Trying to get a good deal on a lovely silk blanket...success.

Caleb

And, again, this one is for the kids...mostly Nathan. Caleb loved it: the peeing statue.

Next post will be from a very tired mom. But tired at home. Can't wait!

Andy's top 11!

2009-06-22T19:27:00.008-04:00

Well, I figured I should write an entry from China. Julia asks me every night and I always respond, "You do such a great job. Why should I write anything?" But, thought it would be good for Caleb to one day read something from his daddy or "baba" which he prefers to say. We have had a great trip overall. So many things to take in and see. Some of the things that will forever be stamped in my memory are as follows (my top ten list--well actually top 11!!):

1. The Chinese culture is different than I anticipated in a good way, really. Everyone is so friendly, helpful and seem quite happy--at least from an outsider's perspective. They are also very active--physically especially. Whether it be riding bikes, playing "hacky sack", playing board games together, doing Tai Chi or dancing, many Chinese are often busy outside doing one of these activities. They are so appreciative for us to adopt Caleb and "give him a better life in America". No doubt we will try to give him a "better life" like they are thinking as far as education and money goes, but most importantly we will provide a loving home where he knows that his mom and dad would do anything for him, he has brothers and sisters that like him most of the time, and most importantly we will raise him to know Jesus

.

2. The incredible number of people in China blows me away, not only when we are walking on the streets, but also the number of vehicles--both cars and bicycles. It is amazing to me with the number of people and vehicles that there aren't more accidents. Julia and I figure it is because there is always a traffic jam so they aren't going fast enough!

3. Caleb's orphanage...I was expecting for this to be a very heart wrenching experience for me truthfully. I thought I would see kids that looked malnourished, extremely sad and not taken care of both emotionally and physically. What we saw was just the opposite. Caleb's orphanage was better than some schools I have seen in the states. All of his nannies were very pleasant and knew Caleb very well--great sign that he was well cared for. They gave us a scrapbook of all the things he has created in his "school time" over the last couple of years as well as pictures of him during different stages of his life. The orphanage director as well as some of his caretakers sat down with us for over an hour talking to us about Caleb. As we took a tour of the orphange all the kids seemed so happy and were having so much fun coloring, painting, singing songs, etc. Caleb is such a cheery little guy--always singing, dancing, and smiling. Julia and I both feel like God's hand has been on Caleb from the very beginning to protect him and give him as loving as environment as he has had.

4. The squatty potties--now really, how does anyone go to the bathroom like this. I can't get over it. I have 2 more days here and think I should try it. I have been holding out and just going on the "western style" potties.

5. The food--I have frequented McDonald's more than I have in the last 2-3 years. I just can't do Chinese food. In Chengdu, most of the food was too spicy for me. For one meal, the food was so spicy that I drank a coke and a glass of water and my mouth was still on fire for the next 2 hours.

6. All the shops are incredible to me. Of course, Julia loves it, but every person that works at a shop tells us,"I will give you deal that is best price" I'm not kidding, every store! Not good for someone as cheap as me and has married someone who can't pass up a good deal!

7. The homes that people live in was a surprise to me. Definitely we live like kings and queens in the states. The place where we are staying right now in Ghongzhou for instance, there is one housing building on top of another. Hard to believe that people live this way, but maybe they are saying the same thing about us...

8. The Great Wall was something everyone should see some day. I can't imagine that people actually built this. I had enough trouble just hiking up a portion of it.

9. Going to a Christian Chinese church service was definitely not something I thought I would do when we left for this trip. I didn't even realize there were Christian churches in China that weren't secretive. I feel like we could learn a lot from Chinese Christians on how to really worship and not be ashamed of our relationship with Jesus.

10. Meeting so many other great adoptive families. We have especially loved getting to know the couple who has traveled with us throughout our trip. We have loved getting to know their child as well. We will surely have a bond with them for years to come. Even better, they live for 5 months out of the year at Glacier National Park. Should be a great place for us to visit one day. Anyway, their little boy is from Caleb's orphanage and was friends with him while he was there. When these 2 get together, they speak VERY LOUDLY in a bunch of Chinese language that I can't even begin to understand. It is very cute.

11. Finally, I have been overwhelmed with all of you who have sent us messages and have been praying for us while we have been gone. For all of you who have helped us over the past year in so many different ways throughout this journey to get Caleb, we will forever be grateful. God has definitely given us not only a great gift in Caleb, but also a very loving and supportive family, friends and church family. Can't wait for all of you to meet little Caleb, He sure is a cutie!!! Kara, Anna, and Nathan I miss you guys and can't wait to see you again and share all my stories :)

Andy

P.S. I didn't really throw up all the way on the plane. I just was getting a little nervous about the Chinese official taking my temperature and had to let out my anxiety in some way :)

Father's Day/weekend

2009-06-21T12:25:00.011-04:00

I didn't figure out how to use our computer here in Guangzhou until today. Turns out that all I needed to do was ask for a converter at the hotel front desk and that was it. So now I'm back online.

Friday we packed up and left Chengdu to fly to Guangzhou. That was pretty much our whole day. Packing, sitting at an airport, sitting on an airplane and getting settled into our newest hotel. Not too eventful really.

As Andy and I were packing things, we found Caleb tucking his teddy bear backpack into bed just like we do for Caleb. It was so cute. He even turned on the tv music that I turn on when Caleb takes his nap.

Caleb and his Chengdu friend loved watching all the hustle and bustle of the airport. Much better than the actual plane ride!

Saturday morning was the day for the infamous health check here in Guangzhou. It was one of the things I was dreading. It ended up being better than we expected. Actually, Andy thoguht it was cleaner than the Immediate Health Care Center we visited at home just a few months ago. Caleb did have to end up getting 4 immunizations though. He didn't even flinch. I had more tears than he did...which wasn't hard b/c he had none!

Then we had Subway for lunch. Ahh, it was good to eat something familiar!

And spent the evening walking around Shamien Island (which is where our hotel is..."island" is a bit of a stretch but it is separated by a very small bridge from the actual city)

Today, Sunday, is Father's Day and we started the day off by taking a walk. It sounds more leisurely than it is b/c it is about 200 million degrees here and you literally sweat as soon as you walk outside. We were dripping in sweat by the end of our walk. Sort of enjoyable if you like that kind of feeling. Lovely place, crazy craaaaazy humid weather.

We spent about 1/2 an hour talking w/this shop owner who is a Christian. She showed us her Bible and what she studies and how she came to know Jesus.

Then we went to a church service that was in Chinese and English. We only lasted about 30 minutes before Caleb had to go potty.

We had dinner at a Thai restaurant tonight and spend the most $ yet on dinner. I think we spent 20 dollars. That is pretty expensive in China. Most of our meals have cost us about 10 US dollars total for the three of us. The food we have eaten has been so great and we just laugh every time we get the bill b/c it is so cheap.

Walking around our hotel

We all came back dripping wet from sweat and needed a shower. Andy's third one for the day. He actually went running this afternoon. I would consider that cruel and unusual punishment...he considers it fun.

The last photo is another favorite of mine although pictures of shoes aren't generally appealing to me. This is what Caleb did w/his shoes tonight when he took them off for bath time. He lined them up right next to Andy's. He mimics just about anything Andy does. And he chatters in Chinese the whole time while doing it.

Like Father, Like Son

another great day in Chengdu

2009-06-18T22:11:00.014-04:00

We are leaving for Guangzhou in a few hours. That is where the U.S Embassy is and we need to do a few things there before we are allowed to leave China.

Here we are two days ago in the center of Chengdu. Caleb (and most of the kids in China) do this silly "peace" sign whenever they have their picture taken. It really doesn't mean anything...kind of like our "say cheese" routine here in the U.S

Anna, Nathan and Kara...can you spot the chicken feet?

We went to see the Pandas yesterday

Another one of my favorites

Lost in translation...this sign was near a small pond

At the Panda Reserve, there was a pond FULL of fish and I think Caleb liked them just as much as the pandas

On the way home from seeing the Pandas (and fish!) we stopped to see the temple where Caleb was left as an infant...otherwise known as his "finding spot". I don't particularly love that term. I'm not sure how to put into words how it felt to stand in the same spot where he was lovingly placed to be found and taken care of. At the orphanage we were given a note that was left with him here. It was a small handwritten note that basically said "please take care of this baby and find him a home". I have not doubt that we was deeply loved by his family. He was placed near a very sacred and safe place. After driving through this area we have seen firsthand the poverty and hardships of life here. I can only imagine that his family had no way to care for him and his medical need. Of course, there are strong and prevelant superstitous beliefs here in China that likely could have been why his family could not keep him. Either way, I feel like the moment that he was placed in front of this temple God began to work in his life and ours to bring us together.

The street that the temple is on

The entrance to the temple. The lady in the wheelchair is being lifted over the entrance. There is a long standing belief here (as seen in the Forbidden City) that you can stop the entrance of evil spirits from entering into buildings/rooms by "blocking" them at the threshhold. You literally have to step over these beams (of sorts) to enter into a lot of places in China. Many of the Buddhist stores in this area had similar beams guarding their entrances. The higher the beam, the more sacred or important the place is. This is a Buddhist temple so it is quite high.

Lovingly placed here by one family, lovingly in the arms of another now.

The end of a very long day

Details...

2009-06-17T07:44:00.001-04:00

Well, it's about 3pm here in China and Caleb is napping. He does NOT like to take naps but it is one of the few things we are insisting that he do. He cries when we put him on the bed in between us (so he can't escape!) and it breaks our hearts. But the few minutes of tears are worth the sleep that his body needs. We didn't make him take a nap the first day we were with him and we learned that when he is sleep deprived and over stimulated he gets goofy and slap happy. Oh, and almost literally bounces off the walls...not a good thing when stuck in a hotel room!

I haven't written much since we met him and I'm not sure where to start and how to share anything concisely. It has been a full 2 and 1/2 days. Monday morning we left to drive to the orphanage and Andy and I were almost sick from crazy roller coaster emotions. When we arrived there was a small group of babies sitting in exersaucers outside the entrance to the building. It broke my heart in so many ways. It also made me think of how just a few years ago that was Caleb. We walked into the building still kind of in shock that we were actually there. It was a large multi-story entry and we were kind of looking up and around and standing there waiting for our guide to meet the orphanage director when I kind of casually glanced down the hallway in front of me and there was Caleb walking hand in hand with one of the workers. We were completely not ready to see him and thought we'd be ushered into a room first. But he just kind of appeared and started quickly walking up to us full of smiles. We got none of it on camera b/c Andy wasn't prepared either. I think he was filming the entryway when I said, "there he is!" Andy put down the video recorder so he could see him and thus we have no Hallmark moment video or pictures of the moment we had been waiting for for so long. But it will be etched in our memory forever.

We were then moved into a room where we spent what seemed like forever shuffling between trying to interact with Caleb and doing paperwork all at the same time. There was another family with us so there were six of us, our guide and several orphanage workers coming in and out of the room at different times. It was pretty crazy. And full of glass tables and two young boys. Can you picture it?!

Then we were given a tour of the floor where Caleb's "class" was. I think all the children were about 4-10 yrs old. I knew that this particular orphanage was very nice but it was beyond what I expected. The halls were colorful, the rooms were much like preschool rooms, there were crafts and artwork displayed on the walls and hanging from the ceiling, and music and singing filled the air. It was so nice. But I had a hard time looking at the faces of each of the children. One little boy who was about Caleb's age came up to me and wrapped his arms around my legs to hug me. As we started to move along down the hallway, he started to follow me. Again, it broke my heart.

I took tons of photos and tried to just take it all in so that we could remind Caleb one day about the friends he left behind and the life that had for 4 years. Of all the places in China for Caleb to have to be, this was probably one of the best. He was obviously loved and well taken care of. In fact, we were told that for the past year he has been living with a foster family within the orphanage. Apparently, there are a few families that live in the building and act as foster families for several children (usually 8 at a time). We were given a small photo album of pictures of Caleb from the time he was an infant until just recently. The Half the Sky (halfthesky.org for info on this wonderful organization) workers had even compiled a scrapbook for us. It was filled with photos and artwork (aka scribbling!) that Caleb had done. Each page has a photo and handwritten notes. Of course, it is all in Chinese and we have no idea what it says. Our guide offered to translate it for us over the next several days. It will essentially be the only "baby book" he will have which, I might add, is actually nicer and more detailed than what we have for Nathan!

And as far as how Caleb is doing and adjusting...

He is just wonderful. He didn't cry at all when he left with us as we expected him to maybe do. He has attached pretty well to both of us equally although he does seem to prefer Andy. He loves to sing (Nathan, we may have another Chris Tomlin in our family!). He loves walking up and down the busy Chengdu streets. He just stares at all the cars and bikes and smiles at all the people. I think the first Chinese word we learned from him was "no". When he doesn't like something or doesn't want to do something he lets us know. He loves routines which is good b/c that is what Mommy likes!

He is awake now so I should go. He does not like it when we are on the computer. He definitely wants our full attention. And at least for the next week or so he'll get it!

Photos

2009-06-16T22:42:00.011-04:00

Again, don't have much time b/c we've been Skyping and Caleb is ready to get out of this hotel room. He keeps handing me my purse b/c he knows that means we'll go out somewhere!

Here are several photos of the last few days...

The orphanage on Monday

and one of my favorites...welcome to your new world, caleb

later that evening

tuesday lunch out, nap, and walking around downtown chengdu

this next one is for the kids...that is a duck head toward the back

I really will try to add more details this afternoon during Caleb's nap time. Yesterday it ended up being my nap time too.

Introducing...

2009-06-15T12:56:00.003-04:00

Caleb Ping Schmidt

He is one smiley, happy, lively, spirited little boy.

I'll share details about the day later. We're spending the afternoon in our hotel room right now. This little 4yr old is one busy boy. He came to us with a huge grin and the only time we don't see it is when we mention the word "nap".

More later. Isn't he a cutie?!!

24 more hours...

2009-06-14T10:45:00.001-04:00

This will be quick. Wanted to let you all know that we will be getting Caleb Monday morning at 9:00am (not today like we originally thought). We're actually a bit relieved b/c our plane was delayed last night to Chengdu and we didn't arrive to our hotel until 11pm.

More later this afternoon after we eat breakfast and go to the bank.

Beijing Rickshaw/Hutong and Chengdu

2009-06-14T10:33:00.009-04:00

Yesterday was our last day in Beijing. We spent the morning Skyping and packing and the spent the fternoon touring the old Hutong part of China. We ate lunch at a local restaurant.

rode in a rickshaw

throughout the Hutong area of China

and visited a local Chinese family in their home.

Then we rushed directy to the airport only to end up having our flight delayed (about an hour at the airport and then almost 2 hours sitting on the runway). We didn't arrive to our hotel last night until 11pm.

This morning we met the other family that is adopting through our same adoption agency. They are adopting a 5 year old boy. We are assuming that our boys know each other! We had breakfast with this couple, went to a local supermarket where we got a full tea tasting ceremony served to us right in the middle of the store

ate lunch at McDonald's, went to the bank to exchange our $ and are about ready to go out for dinner.

We leave for the orphanage tomorrow morning at 8:30am for our 9:30am appointment. It's the day we've been waiting for. Andy has spent the last hour and a half counting and organizing all of the $ we need to take tomorrow as well as double (and triple and quadruple) checking all of our paperwork. I've been organizing things for Caleb (snacks/toys) and gifts that we are expected to give to the orphanage directors, nannies, etc.
I'm not sure how to even put into words how we feel. It really depends what minute it is. Our emotions vary from excitement, to fear, to nervousness (seriously, I can NOT believe that I have not thrown up from nerves yet), sadness for the loss and fear that Caleb will likley be facing, to homesickness, to relief that our wait is almost over, to freak-out-ness that we're adopting a 4yr old boy that we've never met and speaks no English, to "I can NOT believe we're in the middle of China!" to just about every other crazy extreme emotion that you can think of. Mostly we're just thankful to be here and be so close to having Caleb.

Friday, June 12

2009-06-12T18:32:00.018-04:00

First of all, Happy B-day Caleb! It is his 4th birthday today and little does he know what his belated gift is. A family. We can't wait to meet him! Only two more days. Yikes. Seems a bit unreal.

Here is what we spent our day doing...

Temple of Heaven

Tian'anmen Square

Forbidden City

Traditional lunch in our own private room w/in the restaurant. We couldn't stop laughing b/c it seemed so fancy and formal and silly for us to be in our own room. Loved the food.

Silk Factory

Summer Palace

Needless to say, we're exhausted. I did have to break out my umbrella today to try and get some relief from the sun. Hot. Nothing else to add other than that. And umbrellas are really quite the thing here anyway. Everyone carries them around. Old and young women alike.

And now, for Kara, Anna, and Nathan's viewing pleasure...

The "squatty potty"

I did NOT use one today. I just couldn't do it. All of the places we went to today had at least one "western style" toilet to use. I hate public bathrooms in general...squatting over a hole in the ground was a bit too much for me to try. Kara and Anna and Nathan, you'll love this: in most public restrooms, there is either no toilet paper at all or there is one toilet paper dispenser just outside the bathroom area. You have to grab some toilet paper (which is really more like crete paper) before you go in to the bathroom. I'll just say that it is very important that you "guesstimate" fairly well how much you'll need b/c once you're in the bathroom and, you know, going, there isn't anything to use except the stuff you grabbed before you walked in. Interesting to say the least. Oh, and as I stood in line for the "western style" toilet today I got an uncomfortably close-up demonstration on how exactly to use the squatty potty. There was this one older Chinese woman who felt no need to close the bathroom door as she went. Seriously. I really didn't need that visual. I'll probably never forget it. Sorry to any of you who may not have children and thus don't understand why I'm sharing bathroom details here. My kids love that stuff. And I am not ashamed to say that I stood in front of a line of curious looing Chinese women (probably thinking, "what in the WORLD is that lady doing?!") and took potty pictures!

the great wall

2009-06-11T03:20:00.008-04:00

First of all, let me just say that I am pleased to announce that I have snuck my way onto blogger. I found a site that somehow allowed me to "unblock" the blocked blogger. I still, however, can not get my pictures on here yet. It is my mission to figure it out this evening. I couldn't even attach photos to an email last night. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Today was our 1/2 day tour of the Great Wall and it was a perfect day for it. We were originally scheduled to go in the afternoon but our guide suggested we go in the morning b/c the heat and crowds are pretty unbearable in the afternoon. It was a perfect suggestion. Andy and I were both up at 5am this morning (actually, we were awake at 1am) so we were more than ready for our 8am tour. We drove about 1 1/2 hours through Beijing to the Great Wall. May I just add here that the driving situation in Beijing is craaaazy. Our driver literally drove almost the whole way honking his horn at every bicycle and car he passed. And there are lot of bikes and cars here! You really can not imagine it. Anyway, the Wall was just as it looks in pictures (and I do have some that I will try and post later). Andy made up for his episode in the airplane yesterday by hiking all the way to the top of the Wall. I only made it about 1/2 way. We opted for the shorter, steeper part of the Wall to climb. The steeper part was what made me decide to stay a bit behind. Yikes. Did I mention that I'm afraid of heights? I didn't really notice how high up we were until the steep climb started feeling much like climbing up a ladder. That was my limit. The great thing was that the weather was perfect...very breezy, sunny, not too hot, no humidity.

On the way back to our hotel, we drove by the Olympic Bird's Nest facility and the Water Cube. Andy and I had just kind of casually asked our tour guide about those places and she ended up having the driver go by it so we could take a picture of it. Funny thing is that our driver pulls onto a corner of the highway and stops just so that we could get our pictures. I was thinking, hmmm...this can't be very safe. But then again, it was probably safer standing in the middle of this weird, curvy highway than it had been actually driving.

After that we were talking w/ our guide again and she was giving us recommendations on what kinds of tea to buy here. (I will add that our guide is the chattiest, friendliest person in China. And I mean THE chattiest. We've learned more about China in the 6 hours we were with her today than I have learned in all my life.) Anyway, she told us she would stop by a tea house for us to sample some tea. And we did. We went the "the tea store" and sat in this cute little tea room and learned and sampled several different kinds of tea. Do you know that the Chinese people really do belive (and FIRMLY believe, that is) that tea is the key to solving and preventing most health problems. Our guide told us she drinks so-and-so tea b/c it is "good for liver." Andy said, "so you have a bad liver?" And she says, "oh yes." Andy says, "how do you know?" And she says, "b/c I have bad eyes." Hmm. And you know what? Somehow I ended up believing her. So I bought tea. Lots of it. If I start to look thinner, younger, and healthier in the next few months...you'll all know why!

Oh, and one more place today. The Jade Factory. I had three things I really wanted to buy in China. Pearls, Tea, and Jade. I got two of the three today. When I finally get the Great Wall pictures posted, check out my new necklace. It's Jade. And I got it near the Great Wall on our 15th wedding anniversary. Pretty great gift. Wonderfully great day.

we're here!

2009-06-10T08:29:00.003-04:00

We are finally here! Stop number 1...Beijing. We just arrived to our hotel about an hour ago. Our flight was 14 hours long and it's been well over 24 hours since we woke up yesterday to begin this journey. I am the one who hates flying and has been basically dreading this long flight since about Feb of 2008 when we knew we would be going to China. But, guess who threw up on the plane? Andy! Hee hee. If you don't know the two of us well, you won't really know know why this is so funny. But I'll just say that I'm the wimp of the family and Andy loves all things fun and adventurous and especially traveling. I mean, come on, I don't even ride the teacups at Disney or go down waterslides. But somehow I handled the flight beyond belief. I seriously had to contain myself when Andy turned to me and said he felt sick. To his credit (and to my completely out of character immunity to it all), even one of the flight attendants got sick. It was a pretty bumpy last 30 minutes. And yes, kids, this is the first time Daddy has thrown up since 6th grade. Sorry you all had to miss it :)

The only other memorable moments involved what the Chinese gov't is doing to prevent the h1n1 flu from spreading throughout their country. We were told before we boarded our plane that as soon as we landed we would all have our temperatures taken and if anyone had a fever that everyone three rows in front and behind that person would be quarantined for a week in China. It kind of completely freaked us out. A lot of Chinese people were wearing masks on the plane so they apparently are still taking the whole thing very seriously. The funny thing was that we all had to fill out this form and one of the questions was "have you had close contact with pigs int the last week?". Can you believe that?! There were quarantine posters and "beware" signs all over the Beijing airport. It made for a memorable trip. Throw up and swine flu. Ya, I know, you're all envious, right?!

Tomorrow could be my downfall. It's supposed to be 97 degrees. Julia + heat generally does NOT = a good situation. We're spending 1/2 the day at the Great Wall. I'll be carrying an umbrella around to keep the sun off of me and drinking gallons of water and Andy will have his turn at laughing tomorrow.

Good night for now. It's already Wednesday evening here and we are crazy exhausted. If I made no sense here, blame it on that!

Goodnight from Beijing.

PS Major bummer...can't get my pictures to attach to this email (which is how I'm posting this b/c blogspot is blocked here). i'll work on getting pictures tomorrow after i've slept.

hanging out in style

2009-06-09T10:58:00.003-04:00

Guess where we are?! Chicago. I have survived one flight. Just a few more to go during the next two weeks. Well, it's more like 5 more to go, but I don't really like to think of it as that many. So a few more it is.

We only slept about 3 hours last night (this morning?) and were up at 4:3o am so we're already tired. Not exhausted though. Right now we are hanging out in the super-secret room where cool business people like my cousin hang out when they travel (thanks, Patrick and Carol!). We've got super comfy leather chairs to relax in and snacks to snack on and drinks to drink and decent bathrooms to use and clean, quiet people to sit by. Ahh, we could get used to this!

Our flight to Beijing has been delayed a bit and as of right now, we are scheduled to depart at 1:30pm, Chicago time. That gets us to China around 4 pm (which is 4 am for our internal clocks b/c of the 12 hour time difference). Just in time for us to get to our hotel and crash. That's also when we break open the Ambien and hope it works!

Our next post will be Beijing! I wonder if Caleb has any idea how close we are?

a mess of emotions but determined to make dinner w/o crying

2009-06-08T15:16:00.004-04:00

Ok, so Andy wanted to have a nice, normal dinner tonight before we ship the kids off to the grandparents house tonight. Nice idea...in theory. In reality, all five of us have been a mess of emotions and every hour just seems to bring on the intensity of them all.

I was the first one to completely lose it at church yesterday. We were about ready to leave and one of my friends (who happens to be about 9months pregnant) casually says "goodbye" to me and I start tearing up and then burst into an emotional mess all while in the middle of talking to someone else. I kept saying, "I have no idea why I am crying." Although I did. Sort of. I was just completely unprepared for any of it. At the moment my friend said goodbye I basically thought, "that's the first real goodbye I've said and the next time I see you your life will be completely different (with a newborn) and we'll have Caleb" and somehow it opened a floodgate of tears that I really didn't know I had. I've been on the verge of breaking down ever since.

It didn't help when Kara told me last night as she lay in bed that it would be her last night in her bed. I told her she was welcome to come home and sleep in her own bed if she wanted while we were gone (grandparents all live close) and then she teared up and started crying. And the previous night she asked me if she could take a picture of Andy and me on her digital camera so that when she missed us she could turn her camera on and see us. I told her that we could do even better and actually print the photo of us for her to carry in her suitcase. So yesterday before we ran into Walgreens to pick up more last minute things for China, Andy and I stood in front of the brick wall at Walgreens and smiled for Kara to take our picture. We picked the picture up today and as I laid one of top of each of the kid's suitcases I lost it again.

Nathan seems to be doing what he does best. He is trying to make us all laugh and has turned up his "I'm going to be really good and try to make people happy" level up a few notches. Poor thing. He's lived most of his waking life among three girls and he has learned a few things. When things get emotional (and when is it NOT?!), lay low and be good.

Anna has been more than irritated by all of us. I think she is letting her emotions out by complaining about everything. Yesterday it was the fact that she has no dresser space for any of her clothes which then led into telling us that her whole room is too small, she has no closet space or shelf space or any room whatsoever to put any of her things. Lovely. So I spend yesterday afternoon trying to organize her closet and dresser drawers with her so that she might feel a bit more in control of things and not so frazzled.

So, from taking "one last picture of mom and dad" to cleaning out closets ,we've been trying to live the last few days as normally as possible around here. It is working on the surface but I'm not sure for how long. Today all I could think of every time we did something was that it was the last time we'd do it w/o Caleb. The last time we'd eat breakfast w/o him. The last time we'd go grocery shopping w/o him. The last whatever. It has brought a lot of tears for me and a headache as well.

And Andy has been completely freaking out about leaving the kids. He is never like that. He went into work this morning around 5am, I think, and is exhausted from the craziness of getting everything ready in the last 6 days. Mind you, he hasn't started packing. I knew he wouldn't. He's been getting all of the paperwork ready for China. He'll be throwing warm t-shirts fresh from the dryer into his suitcase tonight about 9pm. Yes, I know my husband. And although that drove me absolutely crazy for years, I have no come to expect it and just watch it all play out now w/o getting worked up about it. He, like the rest of us, is working through being excited and sad and totally freaked out all at once.

So, just know that although on the surface it may look like we're on top of things and how perfectly wonderful it is that we're finally going to China, there is a completely different side of our life that not many people know. Yes, we are thrilled to death to finally see Caleb's face and kiss it. We have waited so long for this time to come. But, the truth is, it is very hard thing to actually GO. It is lovely thinking about adopting and thinking about all of the things that we can give to Caleb and how our family will be complete when he is finally home and how he will no longer be just a picture on our refrigerator. But this is much, much more emotionally draining than I ever thought it would be. And I haven't even gotten to the airport yet.

So, I'm off to cook hamburger and make tacos for dinner tonight. That's normal, right? And we'll all be sitting there thinking this is the last...

Because along with Caleb, our life is going to change in huge ways too. And I guess I just never thought that we'd all have our own grieving,of sorts, to go through. Our family will be different when we'll all together again. And none of us knows what it will look like or feel like. And that's a bit scary and somewhat overwhelming.

But in the midst of all of our crazy emotions, we have complete trust in God as He is leading us on a journey to our newest family member. We know there are many blessings ahead of us. And we are honored to be called to GO.

let the packing begin

2009-06-03T20:57:00.007-04:00

GUESS...

WHAT...

WE...

CELEBRATED...

TONIGHT?!!

LET'S JUST SAY IT INVOLVED A LOT OF CHINESE FOOD....AND ONE HAPPY MEAL.

WE'RE GOING TO CHINA IN...6 DAYS!

We got the call today at noon that our Consulate Appointment is set for June 22nd which means we leave on Tuesday. THIS TUESDAY!

Here is what we know:

Tues, 9th: leave for Beijing

Wed, 10th: arrive in Beijing in p.m.

Thurs, 11th: Great Wall tour

Fri, 12th: Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven, Summer Palace and Tian'an'men Square

Sat, 13th: leave for Chengdu

Sun, 14th: meet Caleb!

Sat, 20th: leave for Guangzhou (where the U.S. Consulate is)

Mon, 22nd: Consulate Appointment

Tues, 23rd: oath ceremony

Wed, 24th: come home!

Next time you see us all together, we'll be a family of SIX!

Caleb, only one more week, sweetie. One more week and you'll be on your way HOME.

one last "waiting" post

2009-06-01T18:17:00.004-04:00

Oh how I hate to have to even write this word..."waiting". But we still are. We didn't get our CA (consulate appointment) today. This may sound familiar to you (it sure does to us!): our agency is hoping it will arrive tomorrow. We hope so too!

For those of you who have no idea what the difference is between a TA, CA, LOA/C, PA, I800, CCAC, CIS, or NBC (no, not the tv channel!)...let me just say that the CA is the very last thing we need in order to buy our plane tickets. The TA (travel approval) granted us permission to travel and the CA (consulate appointment) dictates when we can travel.

Each time we get any kind of approval granted to us I have tried to get Andy and the kids to go out for Chinese food to celebrate . Funny thing is that no one really loves Chinese food and they all refuse to go. But not this time. I am determined to drag the family to a local Chinese restaurant when we get our final China approval. I may be the only one eating, but we're going. I'll make them smile and post a picture or two for you all. Yes, a lovely family moment in the making. I can hear the protests and sighs already. But, you know what, mama wants to celebrate and celebrate we will!

no TA, take 2/EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

2009-05-27T15:14:00.004-04:00

Just got the 3:00p.m. email from our agency saying that they did NOT get our TA today. They did say that their Beijing contact did confirm that our papers were processed and finalized last week. So, there is still hope that it will arrive this week. It should. Right? I don't even know anymore. I let myself get COMPLETELY worked up and hopeful and giddy about getting our TA yesterday and then today. I can not handle the emotional...

NUH UH!! Guess who just called as I was in the middle of my sentence? NUHHHH UHHHH!

We GOT IT! As soon as our agency sent the email the delivery truck pulled up.

Ok, did I say emotional roller coaster?! Uhh, ya. More later.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!

Tentative dates are June 12-June23 or June 19-June 30.

We'll know dates for sure by Friday or early next week.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!

Got to make some phone calls!

no TA today

2009-05-26T16:19:00.002-04:00

Not much else to add to the title. I just received an email from our agency telling us that if the TA were to arrive today it would be there by now and it isn't there. It will make my evening more relaxing now b/c I won't be anticipating a phone call.

Still super hopeful that it will come tomorrow.

past my due date

2009-05-25T15:53:00.002-04:00

I did not expect to feel pregnant. But I am feeling 15 months pregnant.

I am way, way, WAY past my due date. But labor pains are slowly being felt. I think.

The word in the Chinese adoption world is that Travel Approvals were sent last week. There is a good, almost unbelievably good, possibility that we will get our TA tomorrow. Eeek? Did I just say that?

It has made this holiday weekend seem like the longest weekend ever. I am super hopeful that we'll have news tomorrow. It would be a perfect day for it. It's my birthday tomorrow.

I never have birthday wishes. But I will tomorrow. Do they still come true?

in the meantime...

2009-05-18T12:53:00.005-04:00

The only China news that we have been getting is not good news. Although no one really knows what is going on with the CCAA or when we'll get our TA, the word is that China will not be sending TAs until June. Sadly, that is the good news. Some are speculating it could be September. But a few others seem to still think we could get our TA any day. Our adoption agency is telling us it could be anytime and they are hopeful we'll get it soon. Somehow, though, after 11 weeks of hearing that, I'm not too inclined to believe it anymore.

So, in the meantime, life goes on as usual here. Here are a few pictures from last week...

I'm slowly trying to get Andy used to using our new camera. Since I'm generally behind the camera, this is a rare photo of me (with my girls!)...

Nathan is LOVING his first season of baseball but Andy is most excited, I think. He has been waiting for +6 years for Nathan to play.

Kara played two soccer games on Saturday. She went from playing with the boys and covered in mud from the wet field and rain to...

all glammed up for her dance recital the next day.

And last, but not least, is Anna. She is covered in stage make-up as well for the recital. It hides most of her freckles which I think are her most adorable features.

may 12

2009-05-12T16:30:00.006-04:00

It was exactly one year ago today that tragedy struck China. A 7.9 earthquake occurred just 50 miles from Chengdu. Over 70,000 people died and millions were left homeless. Caleb's orphanage was slightly damaged. The children ended up being evacuated from the building and lived in make-shift tents for a while. It was the longest, most difficult part of the past year for us. I could not sleep for days b/c I knew that his orphanage was lacking basic necessities at the time. When I heard that they were in need of blankets for the kids b/c they were sleeping outside and it was cold at night, I completely lost it. I had closets FULL of blankets, and quilts, and sheets, and comforters and yet could do nothing at all to help. The thought of Caleb trying to sleep outside on a cold night was too much for me to handle.

So, although it isn't easy being in limbo right now and not knowing when we will be able to go to China, nothing was as hard as this day last year. I'm thankful that he is safe tonight. And warm. And so very close to being home.

of all places

2009-05-10T20:54:00.003-04:00

Guess where the first reported case of swine flu in China is?

Chengdu.

Of all places.

The very city our Caleb is in.

We'll just have to wait and see how this all plays out and what this may mean for our travel plans. Well, that is if we are even able to make travel plans. We're still waiting on our TA.

I'd love to try and see the good in all of this. But right now I can't. Once again, I'm choosing to trust that God knew these details even before they came to be.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55: 8-9

how many ways?

2009-05-06T13:26:00.011-04:00

I'm not sure how many ways I can say the same thing. So I won't even try.

1. We're waiting.

2. We have no idea when we'll get our Travel Approval.

3. All previous guesses were wrong.

4. Is there a nicer way to say "I'm sick of waiting"? If so, insert it here { }.

The last week has been a mess of ups and downs. The swine flu (or h1whatever the pig industry sensitive name is) has or has not been holding our travel approval up. Ya, that's about as much info we have on that right now. It's all speculation and lot of "so and so said this" and "so and so said the opposite". It ends up just making me an emotional mess and leaves us in exactly the same place. Waiting.

And this has been a particularly hard time to have delays because Caleb's birthday is next month. He turns 4 on June 12. We had planned on that being his first birthday party at home. I will have the hardest time ever if we don't have answers by then. If we don't get our Travel Approval within the next few weeks, he won't be home by then.

I will stop at that because nothing good comes from me thinking about the "what ifs" and the "could have beens." It leads to a dark and teary place for me. Instead I will stand on these promises:

The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.
Proverbs 15: 3

Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 55:22

Our God comes;
he does not keep silence;
before him is a devouring fire,
around him a mighty tempest.
Psalm 50: 3

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34: 18

i think He's got the wrong girl

2009-04-29T17:32:00.006-04:00

It's been a dreary, hazy, lazy kind of day here in our house. Yes, the sun may be shining briefly now but it doesn't make much of a difference to me at this point. I have heard via a pretty reliable adoption website that there is a possibility that Travel Approvals may not be issued for 20-30 days due to the swine flu. I had a feeling that the flu situation could affect our travel. But I did not think it would be immediate and that it may delay our travel for over a month. Oh, how I seriously do NOT think I can handle any more emotional ups and downs. I just sent an email to our adoption agency on Monday asking for an update on our Travel Approval. Our case worker said she was hopeful we'd get it this week or next. Then today I get the opposite kind of news. Can this be more painful? Really. I keep telling God that I am not the kind of girl that can handle these kind of things. Apparently He either thinks the same thing and is changing me or He thinks I really can handle this all. Whatever it is. I'm not liking it. There. I'll admit it. It's ok. God knows this already. I've already told him about my issues. Not that He needs to be reminded. For some reason, I think He does. I still think He's picked the wrong girl to go through this.

And, just to end things on a better note...

Homeschooling. For me, I'm either loving it or...let's just say, not. Most of the time I love it. And here is one of the many reasons why. I had just peeked into Nathan's room and saw this. I mean, really, how much better does it get for a boy? Doing schoolwork on your bed, in your jammies, listening to Veggie Tales, and disguised as a StormTrooper. I'm telling you, this boy is stinking funny. And half the time he doesn't even know it.

It's from a few months ago. I still laugh every time I see it. Something about Nathan just does that to me.

tuesday

2009-04-28T13:23:00.005-04:00

Tuesday. Nothing. To. Report. About. China. Or. Caleb.

9 weeks since our LOC.

14 months since we began this adoption process.

6 and 1/2 weeks until Caleb turns 4.

Swine flu = travel restrictions/complications? I won't be shocked if this becomes an issue for us.

I could go crazy right now. I'm choosing not to. Some days are easier than others. And just when I come close to jumping in the "woe is me, I'm done waiting and can't take it anymore" pit Nathan usually walks into the room and makes me laugh. Every day. Without fail. Here's a sampling of life with Nathan...

Just a few minutes after getting out a 300 piece puzzle. Nathan: "Uh, I don't think I'm going to do this puzzle after all..."

While he is laying on the carpet contemplating whether or not to do the puzzle: "Is carpet just made from animal's fur?"

Yesterday, after about 2 hours of playing outside, he comes to the door soaking wet. Nathan: "Uh, Mom, I need to change my clothes b/c I got sprayed with the fertilizer. I mean, the bug spray. You know, that thing that attaches to the hose?" Me: "So, you're telling me that you're covered with fertilizer or possibly bug spray?" Nathan: "Um. Ya."

"Do you talk with your tongue? Because if you do, that's kind of creepy."

After Andy spends at least 10 minutes frantically searching the house for his beloved Colt's cap, he asks Nathan, "Nate, have you seen my hat?" Nathan: "Oh ya, Dad." Andy: "Well, where is it?" Nathan (with a huge grin on his face): "Welllll, it's on the couch downstairs. Under a blanket." Andy: "Really, it is?" Nathan: "Yes." (insert L-O-N-G pause here)...."Aaaaaand, I sat on it."

hymn

2009-04-21T14:01:00.003-04:00

Can you tell that I LOVE music? I do. It's just a shame that I wasn't born with a voice to be able to sing any of them outside the confines of my minivan or kitchen. This song is one of my all time favorites. Actually, I probably have about 500 all time favorites. And as I get older, my favorites list gets longer. That's ok with me. I have so many other things in my life where I have ONE thing I like and that's it. Like restaurants...I generally order the exact same thing at a restaurant and I never, I mean, NEVER sway from my all time favorites. But music, now that's an area I have lots of likes. Anyway, back to the reason for this post. I think of Caleb when I hear this song. I hear the first few lyrics of this and I think, "yes, Caleb, we would. And we are. We are leaving to look for you. We are sailing the farthest seas, we are coming to find you. No matter how far. No matter how long. No matter how hard. No matter how much money. No matter how scary. No matter what. We will seek you and find you. You can not be too far. Ever."

And, of course, if you listen to the whole song, you know that it is being sung to God. She's asking if and how far God will go to find us. Even if we run. Even if God has to forfeit His glory to get to us. I know the answer and I love this song.

Hymn
by Brooke Fraser

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather 'til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures, would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee
If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee

same old story

2009-04-17T09:35:00.003-04:00

No travel approval this week. Unlikely it will be next week. Hopefully we'll have it in two weeks.

Our i800 is (finally) out of Guangzhou and on a plane to Beijing right now. It took three weeks to get the US Consulate approval. This is one of the new i800/Hague steps. Add that to the extra 4 weeks it took to get our i800 approval and now you know how frustrating this new process is. It has added nearly two extra months to our LOC to TA wait time.

On the home front...

The kids are responsible for doing their own laundry. Can you tell?...
I'm not sure what is more shocking. The pile of dirty laundry or the fact that there is still a closet full of clean clothes above it.

still waiting

2009-04-14T09:48:00.007-04:00

And the continuing paperwork saga drags on and on and on...

It looks like we will NOT be getting our Travel Approval this week. We're on week three of waiting for it. I just found out last night that our i800 didn't even get to the US Embassy in China until last week. For some reason, it took two weeks to get to get there. This is one of the new steps in the i800 process and it is going to end up adding several weeks to our wait. Our i800 has to be approved or looked at or stamped or have something officially done to it in Guangzhou BEFORE it gets sent to Beijing to the CCAA. So, all in all, this is probably a 3 week (maybe more) extra wait added to our already excruciatingly long wait to get to China. So, no China news for at least another week.

As for plans that I actually have control of...

I have finally decided on what curriculum we're going to use for school next year. I haven't made any significant changes to the curriculum for the last few years but next year we're doing a few new things. I'm excited. The kids are excited. Well, they're excited THINKING about the new stuff. We'll see how it all works out in August when they actually have to do the work. So, for all my homeschool friends who love "talking curriculum", here are my plans...etched in black pen on a red wide-ruled student notebook from Target (about as official as it gets around this house):

Kara and Anna (5th/6th grade):
Math U See
Rod & Staff English
IEW Student Intensive Writing
Reading Detective CD-Rom
Apologia science
Mystery of History
Latina Christiana II
Spelling Workout
Studying God's Word (Christian Liberty Press)
Rosetta Stone-Chinese
lots and lots of "real" books from the library

Nathan (1st grade):
Math U See
Explode the Code
Easy Grammar
A Reason for Handwriting
Spelling Workout
Mystery of History
Studying God's Word
Rosetta Stone-Chinese
and a bunch of books from the library

Caleb (adorably cute 4 year old):
toys, crayons, music, tons of books and lots of hugs!

Me:
a nice long bath all by myself (with the door locked!) at the end of the day so I can survive 180 days of it

Ahh, it does feel good to have a plan. And I'm not waiting on anyone to approve it.

New Photos!!!!!!

2009-04-05T19:55:00.004-04:00

Here they are...

Photos of Caleb that were taken just about 2 weeks ago!

Is he not THE most adorable little boy in all of China?!! I mean, really, I think he definitely is.

We are within weeks of finally seeing him in person. We should have our travel approval in 1-3 weeks and will leave 2 weeks after we get it. WE'RE SO CLOSE!!

it's off!

2009-03-29T13:25:00.003-04:00

Our i800 approval is off to China! We did get our approval late Friday afternoon. We had one more mail delivery situation that we had to work out at about 5:00 pm. But in the end, we were able to email a copy of the "missing in the action" form that needed to be sent with our i800. It was supposed to be delivered to our adoption agency by noon on Friday but never got there. Thank goodness for the reliability of email!

So, we're on our very last waiting time. We should have our Travel Approval in 2-4 weeks. There is a chance that we could get it very soon because our LOC is already in China. Oh, wouldn't it be nice to be on the short end of the expected wait. That hasn't happened once in the last 13 months so I won't be holding my breath. But there is a possibility!

The beds: We finally got the bed situation arranged for Nathan and Caleb's room. We were going to just use the white bunk beds that used to be for the girls but I just thought white was too girly for a boy's room. We had been looking for a few months at beds and were quite shocked at how expensive simple twin beds are (especially when you are buying two). I didn't want to buy new beds b/c the only ones we could afford were the cheap ones and I knew they wouldn't last through two teenage boys. I ended up finding a really nice handmade oak bed that matches Nathan's original bed pretty well. It was another big shuffle of furniture but ended up being such a good deal. We got rid of the bunk beds and moved Nathan's original bed (that Kara had been using) into the boys' room. We bought the oak bed from a really skilled wood maker that had made the bed for his son years ago. Then we had my parents bring their twin trundle bed over for Kara to use. Then, to top it all off, Andy's parents bought matching Star Wars comforters for the boys. Nathan was beyond excited. So we celebrated with him...

can i just say....aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhh!

2009-03-27T14:14:00.007-04:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhh. There. I said it. I. Am. Emotionally. Drained. And. At. My. Breaking. Point. Can I also just say Paradise Bakery, Chick-fil-A, sweet tea and peanut M&Ms? Enough said about that. I'll be on the treadmill a bit longer this weekend.

It's 2:00 and I swear I've lived a whole week in few short hours today. I had to go to the library. Check. That was the fun part of the day. Ya, fun, I know! Then I went to Papa Murphy's for pizza for tonight. Good as well. You can't really mess that up or get too upset about preparing to NOT have to cook tonight! Then it got messy. I had to go to the UPS store to drop off paperwork for Andy's job and there was a line 10 people long and only one worker. So after waiting in line for a while and realizing I would have to wait forEVER, I decided to leave. Then it was off to the real post office to send our visa applications to Washington D.C.. Does everyone in the world except me know that you can't FedEx documents at the post office? I rarely send anything in my own mailbox at home...I certainly didn't know that you have to go to the UPS store (as opposed to the post office) to send something through FedEx. Well, I was NOT going back to the poor lady at that store who probably had 20 people waiting in line by now. So, the visas did not get sent today. Then I called to see if the nice cis lady had reviewed our papers and found out that she still did not have our adoption agency's revised paper at her desk. I made several phone calls and emails to eventually arrange for our adoption agency to give the cis lady the tracking # of the document. If the cis lady can find the missing paper (it's in the building somewhere, just not on her desk) then we WILL get our i800 approval today. Then it will be faxed immediately to our adoption agency which will then send it to China today! IF.....our missing paper can be tracked down today. Oh, and I also went to the bank today and had to, you guessed it, wait on a sweet old lady who I think wanted her checkbook balanced for her. I tried to sit and wait patiently. But, seriously, I did not need another lesson in waiting. It was almost funny. But wasn't.

Now, I know that anyone who hasn't already been through this process or in the middle of it probably is thinking what the big deal is. Well, at times my husband thinks the same thing (!). But I can not separate my emotions from this whole paperwork mess. Every delay, every "uh oh", every missed deadline, every "just another day" added to the wait, every phone call I have to wait on, every voice message I leave just adds up and turns me into an emotional mess. And then add the fact that another month is just days away. A month that was supposed to be the beginning of a new season with our son. We never ever thought we'd be still waiting in spring. Never.

name, papers, school

2009-03-25T14:17:00.009-04:00

Caleb update: Ping Ping. That's what our Caleb is called in China. His full name is Ji Ru Ping. Before we had officially decided on Caleb for his new name, we called him Ji Ru for several weeks. But as time went on and I read more and more about Chinese names, I discovered that the first part of their name is actually the family name or similar to our last name in America. I noticed, too, that many Chinese children are called by the last part of their name and that it is often "doubled". We are in the process of determining what we'll use as Caleb's middle name right now. I really wanted to find out which name they call him. As it turns out, a few weeks ago, I "met" a fellow adoptive mom from Sweden who was getting ready to travel to Chengdu to adopt her son. She is part of the Chengdu yahoo group I'm in. She just emailed us today and said that she asked about Caleb and they do call him Ping Ping. She also said she took three photos of him and will email them to us as soon as they get home! So, I'm leaning toward Ping for his middle name since that is the only name he's ever known. And we'll get a few more photos of him soon!!

Paperwork update: It looks like it may be next week before we get our i800 approval. As has been the story of this whole paperwork process...more delays and small glitches end up costing us a week here and a week there. The updated form that was guaranteed to be there by noon yesterday didn't arrive until after 3:00p.m. yesterday and as of this morning, the nice cis lady still didn't have it on her desk. I think she has it now. However, the letterhead that was wrong now has another problem and yet another revised letter is being sent today. It is supposed to be there tomorrow, but may not make it to the cis lady until Friday. As soon as that arrives, we'll get our official approval. Then we have to wait for the approval to go through the mail and get to our house. That puts us at next week. As soon as we get it, we fax our approval to our agency and they send it to China for our Travel Approval! That's the plan, anyway...

In the meantime, life goes on here as usual.

We all have spring fever and are ready to be done with school things.

The kids are done with most of their subjects which makes the next few weeks pretty easy for them...and for me. I'm already starting to make plans for school in the fall. I love new beginnings. I just love planning and organizing! Now, following through on those lofty plans? That's called work and that isn't nearly as fun. So I'm enjoying this season of being (almost) done with school and looking forward to next year.

And I just had to post this picture because it is one of my all time favorites now and I just crack up laughing every time I look at it...

No, he's not afraid of the grilled cheese sandwich. He was just about to make a funny face and I snapped this photo before he got his pose right. No one else here thinks it is as funny as I do. I just can NOT stop laughing!!! And I need to be laughing more these days.

so close to approval

2009-03-23T17:04:00.005-04:00

It's been another roller coaster today in regards to our i800 being approved. Here's the short version:

Good: I called and found out that the nice CIS lady that was assigned to our i800a paperwork(back in July) is the one who will work on our i800 papers. Great news, actually, b/c that meant I had a name, phone number AND email contact that I know is reliable (as opposed to the 1-800 number that proved to be worthless for getting any answers)

Bad: She wasn't in the office when I called this morning. I left a message.

Bad/Good: I had a dental appointment (I HATE having my teeth cleaned almost as much as I hate needles) that I got in and out of within 40 minutes and the kids were wonderful (!!).

Good: Andy called while I was at the dentist to say that Melissa (the nice CIS lady) had reviewed our i800 this morning!!...

Bad: and we had a few problems with it. One paper was on the wrong letterhead from our adoption agency and Andy's name was on a form that actually needed Caleb's name on it.

Good: Andy got a hold of our adoption agency caseworker immediately and she overnighted the correct letterhead to the CIS. Andy fixed the form that was wrong and got it to the post office before noon today. Both corrections should be at the CIS office tomorrow by noon.

Bad: Last time we overnighted papers to the CIS office, it took a day or two to get to the nice lady's desk. Apparently, the mail room system is huge and complicated? All in all, theses two minor problems may end up taking a week or more to arrange.

Good: My friend who was waiting on the exact same i800 approval got her approval today (!!!)

Bad/Confusing?: We're pretty sure we had the exact same letterhead and filled out the papers the same, yet ours wasn't approved. How can that be?

Good: I had oreos in the house today. I rarely buy such luxuries.

Bad: I ate too many oreos to count and now feel like I'm going to throw up. Too much of a good thing really is awful.

Good: At least something is happening and we're talking days and weeks now instead of months.

So, we're looking at another week of shuffling papers to and from Missouri, Indiana, and Oregon. If all goes as planned (ya, right!...) our papers should be on their way to China next week.

Is it really just Monday? I sense this may be a very long week.

huh?

2009-03-21T14:29:00.002-04:00

That's all I could say when I read the CIS letter we just got. "Huh?"

We were expecting an approval letter and got a "receipt /acknowledgement notice" instead today. For those of you in this new i800 adoption process: it is the same letter we got when our i800a form was officially logged into the CIS system. The only difference is that this letter, THANK GOODNESS, does not say we'll have an answer within 90 days (that meant no one even looked at it until, you guessed it, almost 90 days). There is no time frame noted on the letter we received today, so I'll be pushing for immediate action on Monday morning.

It took two weeks to get this "we've received your papers" letter and we are praying it doesn't take another two weeks for someone to actually look at our i800. At least I have a new phone number to call on Monday. I'll be trying my best to track down a live human being who may actually know what is going on with our paperwork Monday morning.

My friend who is also waiting on her i800 approval said something in her last email that I just loved. She said, "They should offer a degree in patience/waiting at the end of this whole process, or at least a certificate of insanity!"

I completely agree.

all too familiar

2009-03-19T09:30:00.002-04:00

We're still waiting. Again. I've come to realize that this whole adoption process involves more "hurry up and wait" cycles than anyone can really imagine. Really. Our super duper exciting LOC from China required us (actually that would be Andy) to rush around and gather more documents to send to another government office for another approval (our i800, for those of you in the adoption world and know exactly what all of these things are!). We were told by our agency to expect that to take 10 days to 2 weeks. And, just as I expected, we're looking at 2 weeks tomorrow. And nothing. I called the US immigration phone number last week to try and check on our status. I was told that I would get a receipt, of sorts, in 30 days and then I could ask about our status. I kept telling the lady that was the previous process we went through (the i800a) and our papers should be approved within two weeks this time and I shouldn't be waiting on a receipt that takes 30 days to get here. She was like a broken record. She just said the same thing over and over. I finally asked for the Chicago office phone number. And she told me that they did not accept incoming phone calls there. Huh? Now that's an interesting way to avoid having to deal with customers.

If any of you have been or are in this new i800 process, do you have any suggestions or thoughts? Our adoption agency has only had one or two families that are adopting from China go through this i800 approval stage. They have had a few others that are adopting from Guatemala get through this stage and they all had approval within 2 weeks. If we get our approval today or tomorrow, we're right on schedule...well, the late schedule. If not, well, I'm not going to go there yet...

The small glimmer of hope and good news in this stage is that our original LOC document is actually back in China. Our agency sent it there in hopes that China might look at it and be ready to issue our Travel Approval (TA) as soon as they receive the i800 approval. So, at least something is in China right now. It's just one lonely paper. But it's there.

For those of you who read this and have no idea what any of it means...it means we're waiting. again. on paperwork. from the u.s.. We're still hoping to be in China by May.

want to be friends?

2009-03-11T15:07:00.004-04:00

This is what I found posted on my bedroom door this afternoon...
Uhh, sure Nate, I'll be your friend! Apparently, there is too much Facebook and Blog lingo being spoken in this house.

Nathan, age 6, always making us laugh :)

the details

2009-03-07T19:43:00.003-05:00

Here are the details of what happened last week and what we know about the next steps:

Thursday, February 26th, was the 100th day we had been waiting on our LOC. I had spent the morning staring at my new blog design and trying to think of it as a special gift to enjoy on a day that I really just wanted to cry. The girls had homeschool club that afternoon and dance in the evening. I had things to keep me busy which was good. After dinner, I took the girls to dance and Andy took Nathan out for some boy time (which I recall involved cookies at Paradise Bakery!). I had intended on dropping off the girls at dance but got to talking to a few friends instead. They were asking about Caleb and I was literally talking about him when my cell phone rang. I will add that for the last month whenever the phone rang, my heart would race and I would think, "maybe it's THE call...". It never was. It was generally Andy calling and I would try and hide my disappointment so as not to make him think that I didn't want to talk to him! This night it was 7:00 and I figured it was Andy calling. This is what I saw...

Eeeeekkk! It was a long distance number! Our adoption agency is in Oregon so I thought, "MAYBE?!!!" And as soon as I heard, "this is so and so from All God's Children", my mind turned to mush. I do recall the lady telling me a lot of things about a lot of new paperwork steps that needed to be done asap and all I could think was, "Please just save this all for later and tell Andy b/c I have no idea what you're talking about and I know I won't remember a thing you tell me." The only other thing that I really cared to know at that moment was if there was another certain family that had gotten their LOC too. You see, I have been emailing another All God's Children adopting mom for several months. We ended up both sending our dossiers to China about the same time. We have spent months emailing back and forth about our frustrations with waiting on our approval from CIS and wondering when our Log In Date with China would be and how hard it was to spend Christmas without our sons home and how we were both becoming emotionally drained waiting on our LOCs. This family had been waiting three more weeks than we had and I really was hoping that they had gotten their LOC too. And, YES!, they had. I was so excited for us and for them. And, believe me, if you know anything about this whole process you know that it is not coincidence that we both received our LOCs on the same day. It was a small detail that made things clear to me that God IS in control of every date and approval in this process. And as hard as it is for me to understand why He hasn't allowed us to get to China quicker, I do know that He loves Caleb more than we do and has his best interest in His heart too.

This was the original call that our agency made to our home...

Of course, no one was home to answer it. Thank goodness for cell phones!

And now we are waiting AGAIN on another approval on yet another gov't form. Crazy as it sounds to us, even though we have two official approvals from China (PA and LOC) and one approval from the US and clearances from state and federal fingerprinting, we have to send all of our "official letters of approval" to our gov't again so that we can be approved for the final time...sort of...to go to China. Our papers arrived in Chicago Thursday and we are expecting to get approval within 10 days to 2 weeks. With our track record, it will likely be 2+weeks. Not to be a pessimist, but I'm just saying... And then, this is where I'm a bit unsure, I think that we send all of newest approvals back to China and wait on our Travel Approval from China. That is when we're really, really, REALLY close, folks! We should be there within 2-3 weeks after we get our Travel Approval.

So, as you can see, we have a lot of things to wait on still. But we are closer than ever and every day brings us closer to Caleb. And at least we know what season we'll be in China. The HOT season. At this point, I don't care if it IS 300 degrees. I'm just ready to get there! And it is seeming a bit more real. Our agency is arranging for a conference call sometime in the next week or so with us and the other families that are close to traveling to China to discuss all the details of traveling. FINALLY! Travel talk!!

LOC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-26T20:34:00.002-05:00

We FINALLY got our LOC today!!!!!!!!!!!! On DAY 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caleb, we're getting closer!

day 100 and new look!

2009-02-26T09:32:00.002-05:00

Bad news: It's day 100 today. Never thought I'd have to count this high. I thought we should do something special today because 100 is a big number. It's not a good number in this whole adoption journey, but it is a memorable one. I have no good ideas. So I think I may consider this next sentence my way of celebrating day 100...

Good news: I have a fancy new blog! Do you like it? I LOVE it. I mean LOVE it. I can say that b/c I didn't do it. I picked the colors and elements, but Alexis did her magic and made it look wonderful. Scroll down the sidebar to see her info. Click and read all about her and her work. She is GREAT and is only 15 years old, I might add.

day 97

2009-02-23T13:35:00.010-05:00

Day 97. Nothing to report. Yet. The day isn't over.

This is how I filled my long days last week:

I bought myself a pair of shoes for China. I live in flip flops in the summer. But the thought of traveling around China in flip flips really grossed me out. So I went searching for something I could wear for two weeks in China that would cover up my feet but still be comfortable enough to wear when it's 100 degrees outside. I really wanted to get a pair of Crocs but even the tiny ballet ones looked like clown shoes on me. So I settled for these...

I spent several hours sorting through all of Nathan's summer clothes from last year and pulled out enough clothes for Caleb to wear while we're in China. I did buy him flip flops and tennis shoes. The tennis shoes are probably going to be too small and the flip flops may be too big, but I'm counting on the fact that most everything is made in China anyway and I'll be able to find shoes for him there if we need some.

I also bought several journals and pens to give to the orphanage workers as gifts. It is customary to give the orphanage directors, nannies, interpreters, and tour guides gifts. Yikes. That's a lot of people. I found these adorable gifts in the Target dollar section (which isn't really all $1.00 stuff anymore. They sneak in things that are $2.50 too. Still cheap, but misleading none the less and shouldn't be in the dollar section if you ask me). They are way cuter in person. The journals and pens are made in India. I find it amusing that we will come bearing gifts that aren't really American things at all. Oh well, what's more American than Target, right?! And at least they aren't Made in China!

I started reading this...

And I bought this backpack for Caleb. It won't hold much more than chapstick, a (very) small toy and maybe three crayons. But what it lacks in storage and functionality, it makes up for in cuteness...

I also got my second round of immunizations for traveling. I hate, I mean HATE needles. But last week wasn't so terribly bad. I didn't need to gulp down a quart of water so that I wouldn't faint. I didn't start sweating profusely. I didn't get dizzy from holding my breath. I didn't even have a headache afterward (which I generally do from the anticipation and stress of anything involving a needle). I didn't cause (much of) a scene at all. Very successful for me. And, no, no pictures to prove it. Maybe I'll be able to fake a smile next month when I go for my third round.

I have nearly all my clothes organized and ready...

to pack in a few old suitcases from my parents. They just bought new luggage and were going to send their old ones to Goodwill. I'm pretty sure that China has a 44lb limit on how much your suitcase can weigh. We only have two pieces of luggage that we own and one is way too big to take to China. I know b/c we used it to travel a few years ago and it was over the 50 lb limit that Southwest had. Andy and I were traveling by ourselves and I had the brilliant idea to pack all of our stuff in one huge suitcase instead of two smaller ones. We didn't even bring carry-on luggage...just one very large suitcase to check. And neither of us had traveled enough to even think about a weight limit. Let's just say we went over it. Way over it. And had to pay a significant fee. And I do recall the nice airline check-in lady telling me that I could take my suitcase over to the side and take things out of it to make it lighter. I remember thinking, "uh...do you have any idea how I pack? I have systems. And it didn't' take 5 minutes to throw all of that weight into that suitcase. It took a long time to get it all right. All organized." But that has nothing to do with China or Caleb. So I'll stop there. Oh my. All that I'll say is that I'm not the best at being the laid back, go with flow, no big deal kind of girl. Nope. Not even close. Andy is. He's exactly the opposite. He'll be the reason I survive traveling to and from China. With a toddler. That speaks no English. He'll also throw a few pair of shorts and a ton of tee shirts in his suitcase the night before we leave. Yes, he will. And I guarantee you that I'LL be the one who forgets something. After months of trying to plan and prepare, I'll be the one to forget my flat iron. Or my shoes. Yep, it will be me. julia. sitting and waiting and spending way too much time on this post thinking about it all.

Day 92

2009-02-18T16:20:00.003-05:00

If you're in the world of adoption, you know that "Day 90" of waiting to hear from China is not a happy day. It is probably second only to Day 100. Anything over 100 days is ridiculously long and probably accompanied by tears, groaning, complaining, and downright begging and pleading. We're on day 92 today. That is, 92 days of waiting for our LOC from China. Not that we've only been waiting for 92 days. No, we've been waiting for nearly a year now. And not that anyone is counting or anything...(!) And although we're waiting on pins and needles for our golden ticket from China, it doesn't mean that we just hop on a plane when we get it. There's more waiting. But it will be nearing the end. Or actually, nearing the beginning. The beginning of a new life for Caleb and a new life for our family. (And yes, Andy, I do know that most of these last sentences are not real sentences. But I get to write the way I want on my blog. So there!). Can you tell I'm testy and a bit impatient these days? I will confess that I am failing any and all tests of my patience. I am not exactly experiencing and living the Fruit of the Spirit these days. No, I have succumb to my longings to get things done. To just GO. To have a plan that can be clearly marked (in pen, not pencil, I might add) on my calendar. To be able to plan for things w/o the constant "unless we're in China" addendum. And mostly, to just have an end in sight. I don't really care if the end is March (which it won't be at this point) or April (which it had better be for my sanity and the sake of my family that has to live with me) or May (better not be) or June (uhh...not even going there) or whenever. I'd just like to know. And since I can't know and am not God, I'm trying, really really trying to rest in the fact that God has a perfect plan for Caleb and for me and for our family. And that maybe some day I'll look back on this and see the reason for all the delays. Until then, I'm choosing to believe what my mind knows about the character of God. So, another day. Another week. Another month (I may need meds if it gets to this point!). Whatever it is, I'm going to choose to trust God. I will admit, however, that I'm waiting on my feelings to catch up with my mind on this one. julia ~still waiting and not winning any awards for doing it gracefully.

the "fun" is over

2009-02-03T16:18:00.002-05:00

I posted a few months ago that we were going to try and make this whole adoption waiting game fun. Well, the fun's over. Actually it's never been fun. But I do try to always look at the good in things. I'm having a hard time looking at anything but my calendar these days. It's a new month. And we are really, really, really hoping to hear from China this month. Last week was Chinese New Year. All of the gov't offices were closed because of it. We're hoping that someone is approving our paperwork today (or at least this week) and that we'll have our golden ticket next week.

In the meantime, I feel this need to do something. Anything. I would love to buy clothes for Caleb but it's rather hard to do considering we have no idea what size he wears or how big he is. I have a closet full of Nathan's clothes from last year which will probably work so I can't justify buying him new clothes until we know what size he is. I did break down and buy him flip flops, tennis shoes, two t-shirts and two pair of shorts. Oh, and a pair of sunglasses. I know that the sunglasses will fit if nothing else does! I'm looking online for a cute backpack for him too.

I went through this weird sense of urgency to rearrange all of our family room furniture a few weeks ago. I hadn't moved much of anything in nearly three years. Until last month when I moved everything. And then moved it all back. And then moved it again. After a week of this, I finally realized that I did similar things during my pregnancies. You know, the "nesting" phase. I cleaned out all of our closets the week before Kara was born. And I went through all of Kara's old clothes before Anna was born. And I washed crib sheets and blankets and all of that stuff before Nathan was born. And as I look back on my furniture rampage, I think I just needed to DO something. And rearranging furniture it was.

I did get the first round of my immunizations that I need to travel. Yay. Exciting. I also have prescriptions for meds to take with us and a long list of random things to buy for our trip. And I officially have my clothes all ready to pack. It will be warm in Chengdu by the time we get there and hot in Guangzho. I went through all my spring/summer clothes and decided to buy a few things for the trip. Well, "a few" turned into a lot and I now have a nice new wardrobe to take to China. And just for the record, when you see pictures of us in China, the blue t-shirt that I may seem to be wearing over and over is actually several blue t-shirts. And the denim capris...ya, several of those too. I figure that if I am going to be sweltering hot in China I might as well like what I am wearing. Summer is NOT my favorite season. I will be miserable as far as the weather goes. Andy will be loving it and talking constantly about how perfect the 90% humidity and blazing hot sun is. Not me. I will be bringing out all the tricks to manage my crazy-frizzy hair and keep my skin from burning. But I will try and look down at my new capris and flip flops and be happy.

And that is where we are. Waiting. Still. And yes, the kids are still happy doing the Countdown to Caleb Calendar. And yes, I have lost weight: 7.5 lbs to be exact. Not exactly where I should be at week 11, but good enough for me. And no, I am not on verse 11 of memory verses. I stopped at verse 3 or 4. But in January our church started reading through the Bible in 90 days and I am focusing on that instead. I'm way behind but am still moving forward.

And I guess that last sentence pretty much sums up everything: Way behind (our original estimated adoption time frame) but still moving forward. julia.

Happy 2009

2009-01-01T21:55:00.011-05:00

It's 2009, which only means one thing in this house...we're closer to China! This is the year for China and for Caleb. And for those of you wondering where we are in our wait, here's what we know. First of all, we now know that our official Log In Date (LID) is November 18. That was the day that all of our paperwork was officially logged into the Chinese system. Now we are waiting on a Letter of Confirmation (LOC) from China. We know that our adoption agency has consistently received Letters of Confirmation within 3-5 months of Log In Dates. That means we are expecting to get the all important LOC as soon as Feb 10 (which would be 12 weeks from our LID) and as late as April 7 (which would be 20 weeks from our LID). Once we get our Letter of Confirmation from China, we will likely travel about 7 weeks later. So, the bottom line is that we think we may be in China as early as the end of March. But it is pretty likely it will be April and it could be even May. And this is all educated guesswork at best. The good thing is that we're already 6 weeks (and 2 days, to be exact) into our LOC wait. We may, just may, be 1/2 way to our LOC!

Caleb, oh what a year you have ahead of you! As you were eating lunch today, we were ringing in the new year. 2009. A year full of surprises for you! A year full of hugs and kisses and bedtime stories and piggy back rides on daddy and warm baths and homemade chocolate chip cookies and bike rides and swimming fun and birthday parties and soccer games and backyard football games and family game night and everything wonderful. And the best is that you'll be loving it all with your family. And I can't wait to see you experience it all for the first time this year. I'm sharpening my photography skills so that I'll be ready to get it all on camera! Practice smiling, little one. You're going to have a lot to smile about this year! 2009. A year of hope and love and family.

Zephaniah 3:17...The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

You dance over me

While I am unaware

You sing all around

But I never hear the sound

Lord, I'm amazed by You

How You love me

You paint the morning sky

With miracles in mind

My hope will always stand

For You hold me in Your hands

I loved you then...

2008-12-12T13:26:00.006-05:00

Today is Caleb's 1/2 birthday. If you have kids like mine, you know this is an important day. Caleb will discover this special day next year! Until then, we are thanking God that we have him with us in our hearts and have a few pictures to make him seem a little bit closer.

My prayer for Caleb today is pretty much summed up in the song "I Loved You Then" (on my playlist on the sidebar, if it isn't playing right now). When we finally get to see Caleb and invite him into our family, these are the words I will tell him. We loved you then. We love you now. And tomorrow.

Even before Caleb knew we existed, we loved him. While his life was going on as normal, we were loving him even then. We'll look back on days like today and tell him how much we loved him. Even way back on a snowy day in December.

And it is such a clear picture of how God loves us. Even in our sin, he loved us then. He loved us when we didn't even know about Him. He came to us, paid the ransom for our lives with his very own life. He loved us then. And He loves us now. And forever. We get to actually live out the hope of the gospel through the blessing of adoption. It is showing me the heart of God in new ways. And it really is the story of all of us who accept His invitation and become children of God.

Here are the words to the song. I can't listen to it without tears.

Pain touches everyone
Heartache falls on every heart
And all of us go through the storm
It doesn't matter who you are
And you're up against the wind
And you feel you've lost your way
Listen to me say

I loved you then
I love you now
I will love you tomorrow
When this world breaks you down
I will give you strength to stand
Look to me
Take my hand and just believe
Before this day ever began
I loved you then

Time changes everything
Moments fly by like the wind
And you can try to hold on so tight
But you'll never get time back again
Oh you feel stuck with your mistakes
Can't turn anything around
And it seems there's no way out

I won't let you go
Not even for a minute
So don't lose hope

thinking of Caleb and Nathan turns 6!

2008-12-08T14:34:00.007-05:00

It's Christmas time and we're thinking about our Caleb...

This Christmas we'll be rejoicing over the birth of our Saviour, Jesus. And we'll also be rejoicing over the birth of our newest son, Caleb, whom we haven't met yet but love as if he were here. We are missing you, Caleb.

Good mom, bad mom stories..

I'll start with the bad mom story so I can end on a good note.

Nathan turned six on Friday. We have been counting the days for his 6th birthday for 364 days. Yes, the countdown for birthdays always begins the day after a birthday celebration around here. Makes for a l-o-n-g wait, but the kids do it none the less. So, you'd think that I would have a few b-day candles on hand, right? No, not me. I recently decluttered one of my always cluttered kitchen drawers and threw away all the used and random b-day candles thinking, of course, that I would replace them with nice new ones that all matched. Well, that was several weeks ago and a lot of life happened between then and Friday and not one time did I think about candles. I ended up scrambling around for some on Friday. The only option at 8:30 pm?...

Six purple tealight candles. I will forever have proof of my not-so-great-mom moment. It was pretty funny though. And even funnier that Nathan didn't even seem to notice or care.

And now, on to my good mom story. After three kids, I have learned a few things. Some I don't learn until after the fact. Some I learn just in the right time. And some I actually learn and get to put into practice. One of my best parenting tips is this: don't push your kid to do any "age appropriate" task that really doesn't matter and will eventually come in time. And this is why...Andy and I realized that Nathan was about to turn six and neither of us had even attempted to teach him how to tie his shoes. Now Kara, on the otherhand, oh, we spent forever teaching her and probably started when she was three years old or something crazily optimistic like that. Not Nathan. He's our third and things are much different in his life. So, a few days before his sixth b-day I think, uh oh, he should have learned this when he was five, right? Isn't this something every kindergartner should know? I put him on the couch and say, "Nate, let me show you how to tie your shoes." And you know what? He learned. Right then and right there. No tears, no emotional breakdowns, no days and weeks and months of trying. Just one day. One lesson. So, now my six year old can tie his shoes. He can also fold his laundry, make his bed, take a shower, sweep the floor, empty the trash, change the toilet paper roll, clean bathtubs and showers and sinks, mop the floors (by hand, on his hands and knees!), dust the baseboards and a whole host of other helpful things! Welcome to the world of DO IT YOURSELF, Nathan. Your mommy is thrilled to finally see you here! julia.

A little bit of fun while waiting...

2008-12-04T11:17:00.006-05:00

My friend Nyla, aka "the stamping lady" according to my kids, had a great idea to make our waiting-on-China-time go a bit faster...or at least seem a bit more fun. She came up with an idea to make a CountUP to Caleb Calendar. We went over to her craft studio yesterday to make it. The kids decorated the front of the calendar and punched out paper shapes to glue on to each day of the calendar. Now each morning, one of them gets to pick a fun paper shape and glue it onto the calendar for the day. And leave it to Anna to figure out a way to make it all perfectly fair. As soon as we got home, she immediately marked every date on the calendar with the initials K, A or N to designate who gets to glue the shape on for the day. Yes, she inherited my love of systems.

Here are a few close ups of the calendar:

And as for my special way of making the wait time seem worthwhile...I committed to lose one pound and gain one bible memory verse for every week that we wait to hear from China. I'm on week two and am down 2.5 lbs and up to verse number 2 as of today. Not bad for me. I'm not sure how successful I'll be at losing weight. I just love food too much! I am bringing out all the tricks though. I bought healthy snacks yesterday and had the girls organize little snack bags of all the "goodies" (and I do use the word "goodies" rather hesitantly!). Hopefully, it will keep me from begging for stale Halloween candy from them. That is my weakness about 3:00pm everyday. Today I'm going to make myself think about nuts and dried fruit. Mmm....I'm trying to make it sound good. It's rather hard! Hopefully it will somehow balance out calories from the doughnuts I ate this morning...

So, bring on the wait, China! We're making it worthwhile and fun here! julia.

dossier is there...and I'm trying to laugh today

2008-11-14T17:19:00.014-05:00

China update: I got a call from our agency on Tuesday to tell us that our dossier was hand delivered to the CCAA Monday. We were a bit disappointed b/c we thought that happened last week. Yet another small delay. It is all adding up. We should have our log in date this week or early next week. We won't find out exactly when the log in date is/was for several weeks. Point is: still waiting.

And I just had to post about our day today. Listen to this....

Right after breakfast, Nathan bombards me with pleas to read a chapter of "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" to him. I do. Anna knows this and runs upstairs to prepare a test for him. Background info for you: Anna has an unusual deep love/fascination/sort of unhealthy obsession with the Narnia books and anything Narnia related. She has basically crowned herself queen of anything Narnia and has loved the fact that Nathan has not been able to read the books or see the movie. But her Narnia-claimed throne has been threatened. Nathan is almost six and I decided that he was old enough to understand the book. So I started reading it to him. The rule in our house is that you can not watch the movie until you have read the book (for movies that are based on books). So he is nearing the time when he can watch THE movie. He only has three more chapters to go in THE book and Anna is nearly boiling over in anger that her brother will now be able to watch HER movie about HER book. Obsession to the fullest.

So, this is what I find the two of them doing a few moments after I finished chapter 14 today.

Anna had made a quiz for Nathan, based on one of her "all about Narnia" books that she has. In this photo, she is informing him that he got 9 out of 18 right. Or, in her mind, 9 wrong. She is telling him he only got 50% right (which she knows is an "F" is real schools and which Nathan thinks sounds quite good because it is a way bigger number than the 9 he just heard). He is super smiley and mostly just thrilled that she is allowing him in her room AND to lay on her bed. She is not so smiley.

Then we rush off to run errands and as I begin to close the door behind me, I notice the dishwasher has bubbles oozing out of it. All out of it. All over the floor. The kids were all buckled in the car waiting for me. I yell for them to come back inside.

And the clean up crew begins...

Do you know how long and nearly impossible it is to pick up bubbles and get them out of a dishwasher? The girls know.

I had asked the girls to start the dishwasher this morning and, apparently, they weren't familiar with the difference between dishwasher detergent and Palmolive. We generally use those nice gel tablets in the dishwasher, but we ran out and I was trying to save $ by using the cheap pour-it-in-yourself-stuff. The girls know how to do the gel tabs, but have never seen me use anything else.

By the time we left (for the second time), we were all starving b/c by now it was lunch time. So we stopped at McD's to eat a cheap and fast lunch (a great way to make you feel sick for the day, which I now do). Then it was off to the County Health Department. The kids and I were all getting flu shots and we could get them there way cheaper than anywhere else. And there is a reason it is cheaper...note to anyone who lives here: Do NOT be tempted to save $ and go there. Uggh. Totally disgusting. I totally feel like I walked out of there having been exposed to way more germs than I would have likely been exposed to all winter long. The flu shot is not going to protect me against the nasty germs I probably picked up there. Over an hour later, we were finally done and I felt like we all needed a hot bath. But I had to stop and get the kids frozen cokes b/c I had promised that to them as a celebration after the shots. Well, one of the celebratory frozen cokes (orange flavored and bright orange colored, I might add) spilled all over the van. Yes. Perfect.

By the time we got home, Kara and I both were feeling not so good. We were the two scaredy-cats of the family and opted for the flu mist instead of the shot. Apparently, it is more likely that you'll have mild flu-like symptoms from the mist vs. the shot. Good thing we have nothing planned this weekend.

All of this and it is only 3:00. And I have a counter full of dirty dishes and a dishwasher that will likely need to run through several cycles to get all of the ever-expanding bubbles out of it.

One day this will be funny. Right? I'm trying really hard to laugh now. It's barely coming out as a tiny smile. Barely. julia.

Take a look at this cutie!!

2008-11-10T19:44:00.006-05:00

I woke up this morning to several emails with TONS of photos of Caleb attached! The Craven family offered to deliver a gift to him and the orphanage directors let them personally give it to him! It's been exactly 5 months since the Houstons did the same thing for us. He looks about the same and seems to be just as smiley. One of the things we sent him was a tiny stuffed pillow with a picture of Andy and me on it. That is what he is holding in a few of the pictures (and kissing it and hugging it!!). Here is what the Cravens emailed us about him...

"He is a very interactive, sweet, smiley, and snuggley little boy...you will so enjoy him and it appears bonding may not be so difficult...at least from appearances! He imitated right away in English too!!"

"Julia and Andy....your son is SOOO ADORABLE!!!!! We were at Chengdu CWI today and recieved our son...when we asked if we could see your son and give him your package and take pictures...they just lit up like Christmas trees!! They LOVE him there. The worker said to me "He is very fat or chubby and has a lot of personality, he is a lot of fun!" Then she pointed at another lady and said "he is her favorite!". They brought him in and WHAT A DOLL BABY!! Ohh boy he is so happy and spunky! He just smiled and smiled. We put your package in a ziplock for travel and then decorated it with curly red and gold ribbons last night so he would feel like he was opening a present. When he saw it he just beamed. They told him it was from his Mama and Baba..then he turned to me and said with enthusiasm and a big smile....Mama! Baba!!! He kept saying that as he looked at me and I said Yes!! uh..No! and we opened the package and showed him the pillow and pointed at you and said Mama, Baba! He smiled and looked at you with such a happy face!! He hugged the pillow.....we kept trying to get a good photo but our camera is soooo crumby we missed most of the smiles but got a bunch of photos...I will send them to you a little at a time as it takes so long here!! He is very loved and very well taken care of there. He is a super happy boy and I didnt think he was fat or chubby at all...maybe bc his checks are full. He has a little scrape on one of his cheeks but he looks GREAT otherwise!! He is very loving and went to all the ladies and to me very easily"......

Isn't he so cute?!...even with girly clothes on! I don't know if you could tell from the photos and video we got back in June, but he had his pants on backwards in those. And he had a pink sweater on in the photos we got from the orphanage in April. Poor thing. They either let him dress himself or just don't have enough boy clothes. But despite girl clothes, dirty pants, and a face full of scrapes, we think he's one of the two most adorable little boys in the world! The other being Nathan, of course!

We are just so thrilled that someone we don't even know took such an interest and went out of their way to do such a loving thing for us! God has provided us with just the right people at just the right time to bring us a little closer to Caleb. What an incredible blessing. I am looking forward to being able to do the same thing for another family when we finally get to go to China.

Well, that's it. These are likely the last photos we'll have of him until we see him in person. Our dossier (paperwork) should be logged into China's system by now. We won't know the official log in date for a few weeks/months, I think. But our best guess at this point is that we could be in China around March, maybe April. It keeps getting pushed back and back. There isn't anything we can do. It is all in God's timing and we are fine waiting on that. julia.

Beijing and a little about me

2008-11-06T11:50:00.034-05:00

China news first. The family that is taking gifts to Caleb for us is in Beijing right now. They will be in the orphanage on Sunday. You can follow their journey on their blog. We're hoping for some pictures of Caleb!

And a little about me next. I've been "tagged" by Michele AND Trina. Here is what it means:

I used the rules from Trina and the number of items from Michele...(See the cute "tagged" picture above? Please look at it closely, read it, and enjoy it for a minute before you read on b/c I spent entirely too long getting that silly thing on here and I'd hate to think it was all wasted time!!)

1. Rachel Ray has nothing on me. I should have marketed my style of cooking long before she came along and I could have been a bizillionaire like her. I can make dinner in less than 20 minutes, easy. And I can do it all with a kid literally hanging on my leg (or on my hip), while answering a math question, carrying a somewhat meaningful conversation with someone on the phone, and keeping an eye on kids in the backyard.

2. And speaking of food, I can do anything with a pound or two of chicken, pork or hamburger. Problem is I can never re-create it if it is good. One of my recent dishes involved pork, a bottle of toasted sesame asian dressing and some carrots I had in the back of the refrigerator. I put it all in the crockpot and, well, that's it. Mmm. So good. I told my friend Emily about it a while ago and she loved it too. Funny thing is that I totally forgot about it until she mentioned who she had passed the recipe on to. I said, really? And how did I make that? And then what did I do? And I made mashed potatoes with it too? REALLY? And I poured the dressing over the potatoes? That WAS a good idea, wasn't it?!

3. I love systems. Some may call it OCD or type A personality, I just like to think that I enjoy systems. I have a system for everything. And a place for everything. My closet is organized by color, season and type of clothing. Jeans are all hung together (never smashed in a drawer), jackets lined up in color order, long sleeves all together (in color order) etc. It is easy to do and maintain when you have a few things in your wardrobe and that's it. My husband wouldn't say I have "a few" things in my closet. Considering I generally wear all the same colors, it probably looks like I have no clothes. But that black shirt that I seem to wear everyday isn't really ONE black shirt. I have tons of plain black shirts. I like what I like, ok?! And it's all about systems! In theory, it's a great idea. In reality, we have five people who live here, three of whom could care less about my systems. So in the end, my house is just as messy as anyone else's house. But my side of the closet looks GREAT!

4. I am addicted to chapstick. It started with lipstick. I used to put in on everyday no matter what, even if I stayed home all day. That got expensive, I guess, b/c gradually I ended up using just chapstick. I have chapstick all over my house: in the kitchen drawer, in my bathroom, every purse has one, the car, you name it. It's probably there. And I don't use just any old chapstick. It must be Blistex Silk& Shine. I think I need some right now...

5. I don't like movie theaters. They gross me out. I can't stand people chomping on popcorn behind me. I think it is crazy to spend that much $ to see a movie. No movie is that good. Andy loves to go to movies. I forget how much I don't like them and succumb to going once or twice a year. Then I'm reminded how much I hate them. I'd much rather watch a show in the comfort of my own home.

6. Before you think I'm no fun and all uptight, I do have some fun things about me. I play guitar. Well, I used to. If I cut my nails and wanted to live with callouses on my fingers, I could probably play a nice version of Puff the Magic Dragon for you. That was the first song I learned. I played it everyday for hours in my dorm room my freshman year in college. And I could play a dozen or so worship songs from the 1990's. Exciting, I know!

7. I love to listen to music, loudly, in my kitchen while making meals, cleaning up meals, planning meals, and eating meals. Pretty much covers a lot of my day. I have a new love for Playlist. I can get any song I want for free. We just bought speakers for our computer so I can listen to all my playlist music and not have it sound like it's coming from a tin can. I can't sing worth anything, so I just turn up the volume and then I think I sound just like the singer.

8. I love to rearrange furniture. Yep, I've been know to move the piano and everything else not nailed down to the floor all by myself. It is driving me crazy that our couch and loveseat have been in the same place for almost three years now. That is an eternity for me.

9. I have a major addiction to chick-fil-a's sweet tea and chicken tenders. I know the drive-thru workers by name. I'm there every Monday after I grocery shop and generally a few times later in the week. I'm prepping all the kids to get a job there when they're 16 so that I can get a discount or some free tenders&tea!

10. You know what I really want for Christmas? A fancy stainless steel trashcan that automatically opens when you put your hand near it, toothwhitening strips, a bigger crockpot, and a flat iron for my hair (no ironing clothes here, only hair!). True, I am dying for appliances, bleach for my teeth and an anti-fly-away hair iron. Am I totally old and boring or WHAT?! You know what my b-day gift was this year...a toaster oven and a Shark vacuum. Yep, and I was thrilled. Jumping up and down really. And vacuuming my floor on my b-day. Heaven!

If you're interested, you're next...

To China for Owen

2008-11-05T13:47:00.006-05:00

Take a look at this sweet new face on my sidebar!

We have been so blessed by the generosity of so many that I just couldn't pass up this opportunity to help someone else out....

I discovered (via my blog-surfing!) a family that is from northern Indiana that is adopting a 2 1/2 year old boy from China. They are expecting to travel to China soon and they still need several thousand dollars to cover the orphanage fee and travel expenses. They are doing a fundraiser on their blog at "tochinaforowen.blogspot.com". They are asking for donations of only $10.00. Each $10.00 donation enters you into a drawing that has a G-R-E-A-T prize package:

A Canon Rebel XSI "mamarazzi dream package" ($1,500)
A Sony camcorder ($400.00)
A custom watercolor painting by Tisra Fadely Originals ($220.00)
100 custom designed announcements or cards, with envelopes, from Your Little Stinker ($100)
A customized sterling silver bracelet set by Silverpie ($60.00)
A Touch of Stardust pleated handbag ($50)
A necklace from Bel Kai Designs ($40)
A handmade baby bloomers set by Milk Bubbles Studio ($25)

The total prize value represented in this giveaway is over $2,400.00!

So, if you have just $10.00 to donate to their adoption, you could possibly find yourself walking away with a ton of great items. And even if you don't win, you are helping to bring a little boy home into a family.

Also, they are doing a second drawing. The prize is a $250 Kate Spade purse. There is NO FEE to enter this drawing. All that they request is that you add their info to your sidebar on your blog (which I will do if I can figure out how to do it!) or post about their fundraiser. That is what I am doing! So, if any of you get a Kate Spade bag for Christmas, you'll know that I won. He hee. It's more like....if you see ME walking around with a new Kate Spade bag, you'll know I've won!

tochinaforowen.blogspot.com

You can read all about the family, the little boy they are adopting, and the details about the drawing and how to donate your $10.00. There are also photos of all the prizes.

And just so you know, I am NOT one to enter giveaways. Andy is generally the optimist in the family and is the one to do those types of things. I am always grumbling that he shouldn't waste his time (or give out our personal inf0) for things like that. I mean, come on, who REALLY wins those things anyway, right? Well, my friend Angie recently won a $15,000 shopping spree from Pottery Barn. So, now I'm a bit more of a believer in at least trying a few things. And with this giveaway, the only one guaranteed to win is a little boy from China. And I'm all for that! julia.

Our dossier is.... (!!)

2008-10-29T22:15:00.003-04:00

It's off to CHINA!!

Our paperwork was authenticated in Chicago last week. We had one document (my birth certificate) that had to go New York to be authenticated and it just arrived back to our agency today. Soooooo, everything is totally done here in our country! It should all be logged into China's system in a week or so.

The way things are running in China right now, our best guess as to when we'll be in China is probably close to Feb/March. And it looks like it will likely be March.

Also, we may have new photos of Caleb in a few weeks! A family from my Chengdu Orphanage Yahoo Group will be picking up their child on Nov 9th and is delivering a few small things for us. We sent them these things to deliver to Caleb: a tiny pillow with our photo on it, a matchbox car, stickers, a color wonder packet, and a disposable camera. We asked the family to beg and plead to see Caleb and try to get some photos of him. So, that is what we're looking forward to now! Until then, we are just super excited to finally be on one of the last wait periods. It will be a long wait, but we're getting closer and closer!

In the meantime, we are all spending time learning as much about China as we can right now. We bought a Nintendo DS game that teaches Chinese language and Anna is picking up quite a bit. We are all learning a lot about the history and culture of China from a homeschool curriculum called "A Heart 4 China" by David Quinne. It is so good. Andy and I have learned a ton already. Sadly, most of the history we remember learning in school was American history. China has a such a rich and fascinating history. Much more interesting than learning about Indiana history, I must say! I boycott teaching a year of Indiana history to the kids (it is required in traditional schools to spend 4th grade learning about your state's history). Uggh, you've got to be kidding, a whole year of history spent on our own state? I won't elaborate on that issue. Can you tell I have issues with it?!! Anyway, China. I love it. Can't wait to go there, grab our boy and kiss him tons all over his sweet chubby face!

We're getting closer to that day! julia.

Dossier complete and off to Oregon, Chicago and China!

2008-10-09T21:56:00.007-04:00

Well, things didn't turn out exactly how we expected this week. But it all ended up fine. The end of the story is that we overnighted our COMPLETED dossier to our adoption agency (in Oregon)yesterday and they got it today!

The abbreviated version of our week is that the CIS lady thought I had set up a UPS account and not a FedEx account (as I had told her), so our approval didn't get to us until Wednesday. That is a story in itself. I specifically asked for the document to be sent with no signature required b/c I knew that it wasn't likely that we would be home on Saturday (which is when it was supposed to arrive). Well, go figure, the CIS lady got that info wrong too and marked "signature required" on the delivery. And, of course, to add to the saga of the CIS paperwork, the FedEx man arrived just as I was getting out of the shower Wednesday morning. The kids were rushing upstairs, "Mommy, mommy, the delivery man is here! He needs you. He keeps knocking and isn't leaving." I tell them (as I stand at the top of the stairs wrapped in a towel) to open the door and get the package. They open the door, but he needs a signature...and apparently a 10 year old's signature doesn't count. Of course. So, I rush around and throw on clothes and ended up with a really bad hair day (b/c if I miss my window of drying my hair, it gets all frizzy and, well, really bad).

Back to the rest of the week...I ended up going downtonw to get all of the papers state certified on Tuesday morning. We were set to send all of our paperwork to our agency on Wednesday, but Andy found one thing missing. He ended up finding the missing document about 11:00pm Wednesday night and then he made a trip downtown Thursday to get it certified. And that was it. More than seven months of paperwork was done. Completely done! I must say, it felt a little strange to send it all away and have no "to do" list hanging over our heads.

Our dossier is on its way to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago today. A copy of it will be in China next week to be translated. Everything should be in China's system in 4-5 weeks. And then we can begin a new waiting period.

Here is Andy holding our completed dossier! (and four copies of the whole thing off to the side).

My thoughts on the whole process: We both felt like you had to be nearly a genius (which neither of us are) to be able to figure out the whole paperwork shuffle, lingo, timeframes and government rules. We are both educated and fairly smart people. And it was not a simple thing to gather what was basically a pile of about 3 dozen papers. As Andy was finalizing all the documents, I couldn't help but think that the stack of papers sure didn't look like something that had taken two grown people seven months to gather. But it did.

And on to Caleb news. I am part of a yahoo group for families that have adopted or are in the process of adopting from the Chengdu orphanage. There is a family that is going to be traveling there in the next few weeks and offered to hand-deliver a gift for anyone that has a child there. So, tomorrow I'm going to commission my mom to make a small pillow with a photo of Andy and me on it. We'll send that to Caleb along with a few other small things. And maybe, just maybe, we'll get more updated photos of him?!

And one more thing. Have you noticed the list of blogs I follow on my sidebar? Well, the Bring the Rain blog lady (Angie) was having a contest to see who had some of the funniest/most emabarrassing kid stories. I sent in a cute story of how Nathan used to think that his name was "Nathan-Andrew-Schmidt-That's-A-No". And I was one of the winners! Yeah! Well, Nathan may have just topped that story with this one today. He was kind of goofily scolding me for something (I don't even know what, dropping a spoon or something?). And he says, "Mommy Kathleen Schmidt!" to me. You know, with the "you're in trouble voice" that moms use. The hilarious thing is that Anna says, "How come he used MY middle name?" Hmm, Anna, maybe b/c I have to stearnly say your "in trouble" name like maybe a million times a day?!! And Nathan didn't even know why he used "Kathleen" as my middle name. He just knows that it's part of the "in trouble" name I yell daily! I think it just sounded "right" to him. julia.

CIS Approval Issued!!

2008-10-03T13:45:00.002-04:00

We've been waiting three months for this! Our approval document from the U.S. Custom and Immigration Department is on the way! I just set up a Fed Ex account so that the nice CIS lady can overnight our documents to us. So, we'll have the long awaited approval in our hands tomorrow! I'll have to take it along with all of our other documents downtown to the Secretary of State office Monday morning to get state certified. And then all of it will be sent to our adoption agency. They will get it translated into Chinese and then it will be sent to China. YEAH!! We're about done with paperwork!! It's been seven long months of getting things ready to be sent to China. We should be logged into the Chinese adoption system within a few weeks!! Then a new countdown begins. We're now near to one of the last steps! We're still several months away from actually being in China. It looks like we may be there sometime in February, maybe March. julia.

and the paperwork saga continues...

2008-09-30T16:15:00.003-04:00

Tuesday and no approval yet. The nice CIS lady received the paperwork from our adoption agency yesterday but not the paperwork from our social worker. I had asked our social worker to overnight the documents as soon as she had them done. She had them completed on Friday but thought that sending everything via a 3 day guaranteed delivery date would be fine since no one would be in the office until Monday anyway. Well, in theory, that is fine. But we're dealing with a large government agency and fine turns into a longer wait time, of course. The CIS lady didn't have the homestudy documents in her hand as of yesterday afternoon. She said they were likely in the mailroom and it could take a day or two to get to her desk. She said she would call me when she received everything. I actually do believe her b/c she has called several times already. I'll wait until Thursday and then I'll be calling to check on things. So, she potentially has two whole days without getting a phone call from me! I'm sure she won't miss me!!

And here we sit. Still waiting. On silly paperwork. I wanted to post an update yesterday but had nothing to share. So, I spent an hour adding some of my favorite songs to my playlist. Just what you all were waiting for, huh?!! It actually made my day quite enjoyable. I plugged my computer into an outlet in my kitchen and listened to all of my favorite songs while making dinner. Oh, I LOVE good Christian music. And then I made my family listen to all the songs while we played a bored (!!)... I mean board game last night. Every time I heard a song I would say, "Oh, this is my all time favorite song." And then the next one would play and I'd say, "No, it is totally this one." And so it went...over and over. I just have too many favorites to have a REAL favorite. And it kept me awake and happy during a very long game.

So, off to make dinner. It will be a bit more enjoyable since Steven Curtis Chapman and Natalie Grant and Fernando Ortega and Cindy Morgan and a few others will be joining me too...

Happy listening! julia.

so very close to being approved!

2008-09-28T15:07:00.007-04:00

Last week was a whirlwind of phone calls to and from the nice CIS lady. She reviewed our homestudy Monday afternoon and tried to call us Tuesday. I finally spoke to her on Wednesday and found out there were a few minor details missing in the homestudy. I spent Wednesday afternoon emailing our adoption agency and social worker about the changes that needed to be made to our homestudy. They both acted super fast and had the needed documents in the mail as of Friday afternoon. We are expecting to have an approval issued on Monday or Tuesday this week. And in between the whole CIS/adoption agency/social worker communication stuff going on, I made four trips to our family doctor to get medical paperwork updated (since we are way past our expected time frame of getting our documents to China, a lot of our documents are expiring). I made two trips downtown to get our criminal check/fingerprints updated. And Andy had to re-do several other documents that all need to be re-notarized this week as well. All in all, we've both been very busy with paper-shuffling, emails, and phone calls. I tried to get info on the health of Caleb and his orphanage in general, but didn't find anything out. I guess no news is good news at this point.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and we are finally seeing all kinds of Christmas decorations in the stores now. How does that relate to Caleb and adoption, you may wonder?! Well, at the beginning of this process in March, we estimated that we would likely be in China to get Caleb sometime between December and February. We were, of course, hoping it would be closer to December. So, to make the wait seem a little quicker, I told the kids that the summer would go fast b/c it always does. Then the excitement of back to school stuff would make August and September go by quickly (which it totally has, I might add! And even though our kids don't "go back to school" in the traditional sense, we still get all excited about going to Target and buying all the fun school supplies and having new books to start and new lesson plans to fill in, etc). Then we would finally start to see Christmas things in the store and that would mean we were really close to seeing Caleb. So, although December is still a few months away, it seems right around the corner to us. Or at least that is my way of trying to make this whole waiting process go quicker. Does it sound too far-fetched?!! The hard part will be the wait time after Christmas. I didn't have a plan for making that wait seem quick, b/c I was really thinking we would have had our documents in China by now. Nothing in Indiana is fast in January or February. That time of the year always seem to drag on and feel dreary and l-o-n-g even when you aren't waiting for something big like a letter from China! So, if you have any ideas for making January and February seem like they are "just around the corner", let me know!!

And since I have no new photos of Caleb to post, here is a picture of all of us in Colorado last month. We were there for Andy's brother's wedding. Isn't it beautiful?

Today and May

2008-09-22T19:02:00.007-04:00

No updates on the immigration paperwork we are waiting on. I called the lady who is going to review it and she hadn't looked at it as of 4:00 today. She said she would indeed review it today. It was only 3:00 in Iowa, so she still had time. I'll call tomorrow again. I think her niceness may run out pretty soon. She didn't sound that thrilled to hear from me again today.

And, just as I thought, the newest numbers from tonight's news about the bad milk products in China is significantly worse. They now say over 50,000 children have been sickened. Several children have had severe kidney problems/failure. I have peace about Caleb being ok. I will try to find out about him through our adoption agency tomorrow.

Now, on to other things. I had planned on recapping the info and details we had about the earthquake that ocurred in May very near to Caleb's city. The following excerpts are what we heard and saw during the first few days after the earthquake. All of this info came from an organization called Half the Sky. They provide nurturing and education programs and services to orphanages in China. They were the only source of info we had about what was going on in and around Caleb's home. As you might imagine, I was desperate to hear any and all information I could get about the area. Just so you know, Sichuan is the province where Caleb is and Chengdu Children's Welfare Institute is his orphanage (CWI). Here are bits and pieces of the emails we had access to during this time. I've boldfaced the info that is specifically about his orphanage.

May 12, 2008
We have received many emails and calls about the terrible earthquake that struck Sichuan and Chongqing yesterday. We have reached the three orphanages where Half the Sky operates programs: Chengdu, Chongqing and Yibin. All is well. At each place, the children were all evacuated until the tremors passed. The buildings suffered no great damage. And no child was injured.
We will reach out to other welfare institutions in the province today. Should we learn of any problems or earthquake-related needs, I’ll post another note.
Some of you have also written regarding the EV71 hand-foot-mouth virus that has affected many, particularly young children, in several provinces. The orphanages are taking special precautions and no child in an institution has been reported infected. We are monitoring this also.
While Half the Sky exists first and foremost to provide nurturing care and education to orphaned children, we are pleased to be in a position to be the eyes and ears on the ground in China for all of you who have such concern for all aspects of the children’s welfare. We are so grateful to those of you who make our presence in China possible.

May 13, 2008
Hello again,
During the past several hours Half the Sky has been working hard to get more information about the children impacted by the Sichuan and Chongqing earthquake. We know that it is not only children in welfare institutions who are in trouble. We know that hundreds of children have been separated from their families, have lost their parents, are hurt, traumatized and in pain. We know we must help; we have been working to figure how best to do so.
We have just a little bit of news. There have been hundreds of aftershocks, one reported to be as strong as 6.0. Children have again been evacuated from the Chengdu institution. Relief workers have arrived in the epicenter, Wenchuan. The Ministry of Civil Affairs (this is the ministry that HTS works with and also the agency responsible for disasterrelief) has been unable to reach orphanages in the most affected areas: Mianyang, Zitong, Deyang and Aba. There are other welfare institutions in the affected areas but no others that house children. Each of the four institutions above houses about 100 children. We believe they will need help. We will continue to watch and wait.

May 14, 2008
I know you have been waiting eagerly for more news of how the children are faring during the aftermath of the disastrous earthquake in Sichuan.
When something terrible like this happens, confusion is everywhere and rumors spread. All of us are so worried about the children. We are trying to be scrupulously careful to pass along only information that we’ve been able to verify.
We have now set up a procedure whereby we can get an update from the Ministry of Civil affairs each day. They are supervising all relief efforts so have the most complete and accurate information available. We also now have contact information for all affected welfare institutions and have begun the process of reaching out to them directly to see if they need help.
I will write daily with any new information that has been given to us.
Again, please do not contact us to inquire about individual institutions.
We will give you all of the information we have. If you do not hear from us about a particular place, it likely is not affected. At any rate, we don’t have any information beyond what I am passing along to you.
As of now, Wednesday afternoon in China, there are 12,012 people dead and
7,841 missing in Sichuan alone, and the numbers continue to rise. 26,206 people are living in temporary shelters. Only 30 children of 900 have been rescued from the collapsed high school in Dujiangyan, Sichuan. At least 20 children were buried in the collapse of a primary school in Liangping, Chongqing.
What follows are the welfare institutions closest to the epicenter:
An update on the Chengdu CWI: There has been some foundation damage to the rehab building and some cracked walls in other buildings, which are being carefully inspected. The children’s building is in the best shape and all children have been moved to the first floor but spend most of the day outside, weather permitting – or in the institution buses if there is rain. All institution staff and HTS staff are working around the clock to care for the children and keep them safe.

Dear Friends,
As word comes of the hundreds, maybe thousands of children lost in the earthquake, I am finding these emails almost too painful to write. When I think of so many parents who have lost their only child - so many children newly orphaned - so many families destroyed - there are no words….
As of now, Thursday afternoon in China, there are 14,866 people confirmed dead, 14,463 in Sichuan Province. There are 22,438 people reported missing – 21,020 of them in Deyang alone. There have been 3,300 aftershocks and they continue.
Here is the confirmed information we have regarding children in welfare
institutions:
Chengdu: The city continues to experience aftershocks and the institution director is afraid the water supply will be cut off again, so has requested disposable diapers. They are having trouble finding sufficient supplies of milk and formula. All children in foster care have been located and are fine. The institution has structural cracks but was built to current earthquake standards and is fundamentally solid. All the children remain on the first floor of the children’s building, mostly in the cafeteria, and, weather-permitting, outside while awake. We’ve posted a few photos on our website.

May 16, 2008
Dear Friends,
I dearly wish I had more good news to report. The very best thing I can tell you is that we have not had a single report of injuries from the welfare institutions.
As of this morning (Friday) there were 19,509 people confirmed dead. The State Council today said there will likely be more than 50,000. Today’s government report describes one terrible scene after another: thousands homeless, thousands missing, thousands injured, thousands trapped or buried alive. Hope for survivors is dimming. There is an urgent call for body bags to prevent the spread of disease. There have been over 4,400 aftershocks.
HTS Director, Child Development, Ma Lang has arrived in Chengdu and sends this note:
I am deeply touched by your moral and emotional support. I only slept two of the past thirty hours. The first thing I did after landing was to donate some medicine to the Chengdu Red Cross. It was very much appreciated – exactly what was needed. They gave me a wish list for further donations: antibiotics for children and adults, medicine for diarrhea, cold capsules (not instant medicines that must be mixed in water), bandages, gauze, tape, iodine, cotton swabs, herbal medicine to stop bleeding and some for pain relief. Other much-needed donations include tents, tarpaulins, warm clothes and shoes. People in Chengdu are doing everything they can to help with the earthquake rescue. I saw all sorts of vehicles carrying things to the donation centers. I registered for blood donation and was put on the waiting list – the blood center was overloaded with donated blood and it’s difficult to transport the blood to the hardest-hit areas. More to come… Lang

May 17, 2008
As you have heard, this tragic event has both killed children and created orphans. A group of new orphans has been transported to Chengdu. We expect to have more information soon.
Meanwhile, the orphanage in Chengdu experienced a magnitude 5.9 aftershock yesterday (there have been 23 major aftershocks ranging from 5-6.9 on the Richter Scale!) and is preparing, if necessary, to move the children completely out of what was considered to be the most solid building. They have requested tents, which we are providing immediately.

May 22, 2008
Chengdu CWI has been notified to prepare to receive 100 children; they expect that more may follow. At the same time, the orphanage has moved the children out-of-doors out of concern for safety. (photos on our website http://www.halfthesky.org/work/earthquake08.php) Half the Sky is working with local government and erecting a giant tent that can serve as shelter for orphaned and displaced children for as long as necessary.

May 25, 2008
Provincial CAB (Civil Affairs Bureau) has begun the process of sending displaced children to structurally-sound colleges, military bases, welfare institutions, and other facilities. In less-stable areas, where there are fears of flooding and environmental issues, children housed in some temporary facilities are being transferred, yet again. Almost every orphanage has been advised that they should prepare for new arrivals. We met a few sad little faces yesterday at the Chengdu CWI; they are told to expect at least 100 more. The director at Zitong CWI told me the same thing. And so did the director at Guiyang CWI in Guizhou! The truth is, I believe, nobody yet knows.

May 28, 2008
Dear Friends, First, an update on the airlift to remote Aba Prefecture. No less than 40 uniformed soldiers arrived at the Chengdu CWI yesterday to load two big trucks with emergency goods for the 1,000 stranded children of Aba. We’re waiting now for confirmation of the air drop.
This week HTS also erected a giant BigTop at the Chengdu CWI to aid with intake and shelter for new arrivals.

Below are a few photos taken during this time. This first picture was one of the first we saw. Apparently, it is when they had to move all the children to the lowest level of the building for easy exit routes when the aftershocks came. They tried to keep the kids outside as much as possible (2nd photo). Then the tent photos came and I completely lost it emotionally. To imagine Caleb and all the other children living in tents was too much for me to bear. The last three are of the military loading and unloading the supplies that were being stored in the orphanage building.

tainted milk and a few lessons I've learned

2008-09-21T19:15:00.002-04:00

I mentioned briefly in the last post about the tainted milk and deaths related to it in China. The lastest numbers I have are that 3 infants have died and 6,000 children have become ill. Now, those are the official numbers from China...so it is likely that these are understated numbers. Here is a link to a short news clip on the situation in China. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article4773716.ece
It is a topic of discussion on a yahoo group that I am a part of that is for families that have adopted or are adopting from Chengdu. A few minutes ago I just left a response to a question about the safety of the milk that is served in the orphange there. Here is some of what I wrote and how I feel about all of this right now...

Several months ago there was a massive earthquake just 60 miles from the orphanage in Chengdu. Now, there is a country-wide recall of milk products. It has all made me reflect on a few things. One is that I couldn't help but see the significance in the fact that just a few weeks after we see the face of our son and decide to bring him into our family that there is an earthquake in his city...the only city in China that I could actually locate on a map...a city that I didn't even know existed before this spring...a city that I probably wouldn't have even cared about had a little orphan boy not been there. Now, the country that our son lives in is in the news again. And I can't help but think that I really wouldn't have even cared about hearing of tainted milk in China just a few months ago. I would have likely been making dinner and just glanced at the story and thought, well, I probably would have thought nothing. Except maybe something like, "what did they say the weather was going to be like tomorrow?" But now, I hear the word "China" and "babies" and "tainted milk" and my heart sinks. Not again. Why China? Why the one country that I really care about at all? And then it hits me. I really haven't cared about much of anyone else in the world until now. Not until it somehow affects me. And that is a tragedy. A sad statement on what I spend my time worrying about and thinking about and planning for.

But things are different now. Now I have a face to think of when I see little Chinese babies waiting in line to get tested for sickness. I think of our little Caleb. I think that he doesn't even have a mom to stand in line for him at a doctor's office right now. He doesn't have a dad to take his temperature and sleep with him at night if he isn't feeling well. He does have our prayers though, and that is sufficient. But I keep thinking of all the other orphans who are nameless to me. Who prays for them? Who even cares that they may have had a drink of poisoned milk? Does anyone care? Well, I am starting to. Things are so different now that I know faces and names of waiting children in China, one of them being our son. I feel like my eyes and heart have been opened to people throughout the world that I normally wouldn't think twice about. Especially children that don't have the gift of a mom and dad to protect them like only a mom or dad can do.

So, this process of waiting on paperwork and praying for the safety and health of our son has been a much bigger thing in my life than just "waiting on paperwork." I truly feel blessed to have a softer heart for the Chinese people in particular. I feel like they are part of my family and I ache when I hear of the suffering they go through. I don't even have my son in my arms, but I feel so connected to the people he lives with and the country he will call his birthland. And I pray that I won't forget the feeling I have when I hear of tragic things happening in China. Because I think that it is a tiny bit of what God feels when he sees the whole thing too. He doesn't just think about a country with an earthquake, or a city with tainted milk. He hears the cries of the babies, He comforts the weary mom, and He knows every one of their names. I am privileged to know the name of one small boy. Ji Ru Ping. Our little Caleb.

Please continue to pray for Caleb and all the orphans who have a name and a face that is lovely to our God. julia...still waiting and learning lessons on the way

Finally, some good news!

2008-09-19T19:15:00.002-04:00

Well, this week I decided to call the CIS number more than just on Fridays. I started on Tuesday and spoke to a really nice lady. I asked her if she could please, please, please get someone at least assigned to our case. She said she would ask her supervisor about it at the end of the day. I waited for her to call on Wednesday and she never did. I called on Thursday and had to leave a message on her voicemail. I decided I would just call every day until someone got sick of me and flagged our file to get reviewed so they wouldn't have to talk to me every day!

I was telling a friend how I was waiting to hear from the lady and that I was hoping the supervisor would call someone to take action on our paperwork. My friend said I needed to pray specifically that God would show favor on us. Well, guess what?... The end of the story is that I called the nice lady again today and she put me on hold for a long time. She got back on the phone and literally says, "well, since you asked to have your file reviewed, I will do it." You've got to be kidding me! I was so thrilled. I was a bit flabbergasted that the letter we attached to our form begging for them to review our file quickly, and the weekly phone calls didn't work but today one lady heard my plea and said yes. So today is yet another day that I can point to and say, yes, God is still moving in the this process, has everything under control and has a perfect timeline. Bummer that I still tend to think my timing is pretty good and need this lesson again. I am working on that daily.

One other thing to mention, I saw that China is in the news yet again. Not good news. Apparently there is a huge recall of baby formula and milk products. At first, I thought it wouldn't affect Caleb, but it very likely could. And even if it doesn't, I have a heart for all the Chinese children in orphanages and foster care. Please pray for the health and safety of not only Caleb, but all the orphans. julia.

and the wait goes on

2008-09-14T22:56:00.003-04:00

I was the one to call the immigration department (CIS) this week. I didn't loose it emotionally and cry on the phone. I had good reason to, but I didn't (!). Our fingerprints are apparently "in the system" and I was told we will hear something in less than 90 days (from when they received our paperwork). That means we should have an answer no later than October 6th. I've marked it on our family calendar. However, the man I talked to continued to remind me that the form we turned in is so new that everything is varying as far as timelines and he really had no idea what I should expect because "nothing is normal right now since we have only had five months of working with this new form." Uggh. Not too promising. I get a 90 days or less answer with a huge, "but really we don't know much about what we're doing right now" added at the end. Not the best news to hear.
While we wait, I'm going to go back and document the details we received about the major earthquake that was near Chengdu in May. It was a terrible tragedy and affected Caleb for several weeks after. I will post the photos and the information we had during that time. So, until then, please pray that someone is assigned to our case at CIS and that we get approval this month. julia.

scroll down one entry for happier news...

2008-08-31T23:32:00.002-04:00

Well, I've hesitated writing anything new b/c I just loved having the video of Caleb pop up first on the screen. So, scroll down one entry and look at that if you haven't. Even if you have, look at it again...it is just so sweet!
Our newest news isn't the greatest. I thought it was, but I was a bit too optimistic. Andy and I both have our fingerprint date this Thursday and I thought that it would mean the US immigration wait would soon be over. I contacted a family that is adopting through the same adoption agency. They had their fingerprints done two months ago and are still waiting for the US paperwork. Uggh. We have already been waiting two months on the US immigration department and based on this family's experience, we could be waiting another two or more months before we can even begin to get our dossier translated and sent to China. That would put our travel date way past February. Andy called the US immigration department Friday afternoon to officially check on our status and it wasn't good news. Although they do have our form logged into their system, there is no one assigned to our case yet, which means no one has looked at it. So, adoption lingo aside: no one is looking at our paperwork and our hopes of having everything sent to China next month seems dim.
That's where we are. Waiting. We are praying that someone will be assigned to our case and we will have an answer this month. There is peace in knowing that God is in control and we aren't. But there is great sadness to think that Caleb may have to wait even longer to join our family. julia.

Video of Caleb

2008-08-22T21:16:00.004-04:00

So, this is it! The video that Michele and Rick sent to us. It is in the orphanage building (obviously not a room they let kids in often...note all the glass tables!). The lady walking in with Caleb is likely one of his caretakers (she is in his b-day photos too). The older girl is Rick and Michele's oldest daughter and the younger one is Sophie, whom they have just met and are adopting. Caleb is probably wondering who is who and what is all going on! During the video you can hear Michele finding out that Caleb and her new daughter know each other and are friends! And every time I see him run into Rick's arms, I picture Andy holding him. He'll definitely be a daddy's boy!

paperwork is alive and moving along/school starts

2008-08-21T13:44:00.008-04:00

At times it seems like our paperwork is sitting and wasting away in some far-off land. Within the last week, we've received word that someone is looking at it!! Small things seem big in this whole process. First of all, last week we got an official letter from the U.S Custom and Immigration Service that our paperwork is logged in and they have it. That's good. It's too bad that it took almost six weeks to even get in the system. Oh well. Back to good news. I, Julia, got a letter yesterday that confirmed I have an appointment to get my fingerprints taken in a few weeks. Yeah! Good news! However, Andy didn't get a similar letter. We should have probably gotten notified at the same time. We'll wait until next week to figure that one out. And the sweetest news of all...today I just received a package from Michele (who was in China in June and met Caleb)!! She sent a video of her and her family spending time with Caleb! I can't figure out how to get the video onto this blog for you all to see it. I'll keep trying. But I'll just say that as soon as Caleb laid eyes on Rick (the dad), he ran into his arms, wrapped his arms around him and wouldn't let go. So incredibly lovely!
In the meantime, we have officially started school today. Nathan finally gets to be a real student this year with real subjects. He is super excited. Just like our bedroom situation, all the kids swapped and moved into new desks. Now we have one ready for Caleb, should he want to sit and color! And how has our first day been? Well, so far, so...can't really say so good. I guess it's more like: so far, so totally predictable. One child has completely lost it emotionally more than once, crying and tears began within the first five minutes of the school day, one child hasn't left my side all day, we ate lunch an hour ago and someone is already hungry and asking for dinner, the cute/organized/perfectly placed school desks in the basement are all empty b/c one child is upstairs alone in a bedroom, one is right under my feet (literally) and one is on the couch. Ah, yes. The joys of homeschooling. And it's only 2:30. So, if you think, "oh, I could never homeschool b/c I don't have the patience" (yes, I hear that usually within the first two minutes when someone learns that we homeschool), just know that I don't have any more patience than the average mom. Just a whole lot more time to practice getting it!
I'm off to make brownies so that we can all end our day on a sweet note! Do you remember the book "The Little Engine That Could"? That's me today. I think I can, I think I can...and I sure am trying, I sure am trying! julia.
P.S. Andy just called me and is bringing me dinner just because, well, because that's Andy. He wanted to do something special for the teacher on the first day of school. And while I was on the phone giving him my order (Qdoba, mmm!), my emotionally charged, crying, always testing my patience child comes to ask me where the sign language book is. "Huh?'" I respond. "I need it so I can memorize my Bible verse for today," she adds. "That way I can learn sign language at the same time and it will help me with memorizing the words." I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. One minute I am tearing my hair out and the next I am laughing at completely random things like this. Add a three year old that doesn't speak any English in the mix and I may need professional help!

Nothing new

2008-08-04T13:19:00.002-04:00

Our status as of today is the same as it was a month ago...waiting. In early July, we turned in our paperwork to the US Customs and Immigration Department. We are waiting to hear from them. Our best guess as to when we'll be in China is February or so. Anything before February would be a huge surprise, anything after would be a disappointment. In the meantime, Andy is finalizing all the paperwork we have to send in to get the $3,000 grant money from Brittany's Hope foundation. That's where we stand. Or (patiently) sit, really.

Chengdu Children's Welfare Institute

2008-08-03T22:31:00.005-04:00

This is where Caleb lives now. It is the only home he has ever known. The great thing about this place is that there is an organziation called Half the Sky that works alongside the orphanage workers. They basically are a private organization that provides early childhood development and nuturing programs in the orphanage. Here is what they do in their own words (as stated on their website):

"Changing children’s lives does not require new facilities or expensive playthings or complicated new procedures. Human contact is the most important ingredient, and caretakers can make a huge difference—just by taking an extra moment whenever possible to hold the babies, talk to the children, hug them all, and assure them that someone cares."

This is the specific Half the Sky program we believe Caleb has been a part of:

"The Baby Sisters Infant Nurture Program — Half the Sky employs, trains and supervises local women to work as full-time nannies, providing orphaned babies the stimulation, bonding and affection that are essential to a healthy start."

We won't know until we actually see Caleb, but we're pretty sure he has been part of this program. We are grateful for the extra special care that the people involved in this program provide for kids like Caleb.

And for those of you wondering about the origins of the "Half the Sky" name, here is the folktale that inspired the name:

Holding up Half the Sky...One day an elephant saw a hummingbird lying on its back with its tiny feet up in the air. "What are you doing?" asked the elephant. The hummingbird replied, "I heard that the sky might fall today, and so I am ready to help hold it up, should it fall." The elephant laughed cruelly. "Do you really think," he said, "that those tiny feet could help hold up the sky?" The hummingbird kept his feet up in the air, intent on his purpose, as he replied, "Not alone. But each must do what he can. And this is what I can do."— A Chinese Folktale

Half way around the world, we celebrate with you!

2008-08-03T15:04:00.003-04:00

June 12, 2008:
Well, we couldn't make it to your birthday this year, Caleb. But, we celebrated anyway! Three candles were each lovingly placed by one super excited brother and two happy sisters on a very simple chocolate cake. No presents for you this year. But just you wait until next year! You'll have a cake made by your very own mom. And you'll get a huge hug from your dad! And I'm sure you'll have more presents than you can probably even imagine. So, hold on a few more months, Caleb. We have big surprises just waiting for you! Things your sweet little mind could probably never even dream of right now. But we are dreaming for you. Dreaming and planning for a life full of every good blessing for you. Just a while longer. We're coming for you. And boy, oh boy, will you have a GREAT 4th birthday! love, mom.

Happy 3rd Birthday to Caleb

2008-08-03T14:28:00.003-04:00

The day after Michele and her family saw Caleb, it was Caleb's birthday (June 12th). Michele arranged to get this cake for him. Isn't it the most elaborate, over the top cake ever?! Apparently, this is a typical Chinese b-day cake. I'm sure the pig, flowers, chicken, house, water, bridge, oranges, and everything else that is scrunched on top of this cake symbolize something. We have no idea what. And there are way more than three candles! Not sure about the significance of that either!

The picture below is one of my favorites, yet one of the saddest, I think. I LOVE the intent look on all the kid's faces. But it just makes me so sad to think that none of them have a family.

Now, the last one below is my favorite of all the pictures we have of him. He is looking at the photo album we sent him. You can see him pointing to us and probably saying "mama" or "baba." If you look closely, you can see (upside down) the note I wrote that says, "We love you. We will come to see you soon, love Mommy and Daddy." I couldn't see any of these pictures past my tears when I first got them. I kept thinking, "quit crying so you can actually SEE the picture!" Hope you enjoy them as much as we have.

Visit with Caleb

2008-08-03T13:54:00.003-04:00

When we received the information about Caleb from our adoption agency a few months ago, I tried to find out information about the Chengdu Welfare Institute (orphanage) that Caleb was in. I did a Google search and didn't find much. But I did find a blog written by a family clear across the country (Washington, to be exact) who was in the process of adopting a little girl from the same orphanage. I read the blog for a while and eventually got in touch via email with the family. They traveled in June to pick up their daughter, Sophie. They were so very kind and offered to hand deliver a photo album we made for Caleb and a blanket for him. These pictures are from them. They beggged and pleaded with the orphanage director to see Caleb and they allowed them to visit with him AND take photos! The picture just above this is of Caleb seeing his friend Sophie (you can see how happy he is!). Sophie and Caleb actually slept in the same room! Sophie's mom, Michele, said you could just tell they were good friends.
Below is Caleb hugging Sophie's dad, Rick. Michele said that Caleb was very attached and fond of Rick and not so much her. That goes along with the very brief info we got from the orphanage. One part of his history says that he is always very friendly with the male visitors (mostly dads coming to adopt children) and makes them all laugh. That just broke my heart when I read it few months ago. I just thought of him seeing men come into his "home" and longing to be held and hugged on by a dad and always having it be someone else's dad and not his. We know that some children from orphanages are skeptical and frightened of males b/c they have had no interaction with them. We're glad to know that Caleb won't be afraid of Andy! The last picture below is of Caleb, Sophie (on right) and Sophie's big sister (on left).

Family Fun Night

2008-07-24T13:48:00.009-04:00

In May, we organized a family fun night and silent auction as another way to raise money for the adoption costs. We knew a family that hosted a similar event last year. So, we basically thought we'd try the same thing.

My friend Melinda and I spent two months planning the event. Melinda is an event planner-extraordinaire and a super great friend who would do anything for me. It took hours and hours of planning but was so incredibly worth it. We ended up with over 100 auction items (a lot of which were packaged items), a gym full of carnival games, hundreds and hundreds of hot dogs, chips, and drinks (about 400+ of each!) and a completely overwhelmingly great evening. We had people donate their time to run carnival games, serve food, bake goodies for the bake sale, supervise the auction tables, and set-up and clean-up. Honestly, I had a fear that after everyone showed up to help with the event that we wouldn't have anyone left to actually show up as guests! But the gym quickly filled up and I think we had well over 300 people come. We had so many auction items that I also thought we wouldn't have enough people to buy everything. But nearly everything sold! We earned $3,000 from ticket and food sales. We earned another $3,000 from the auction items AND an additional $9,000 from two auction donations of granite countertops! Yes, that is a total of over $15,000 in just one night!

One of the most amazing things about the whole night was that most of the people who helped us and came to support us were from our church that we have only been a part of for a little over a year. We had so many people whom we didn't even know offer to help. It truly was a visible example of the body of Christ working together. We knew that God would work in great and small ways to make this adoption possible. And we saw a great work of God that night. We are so thankful to every single person who came to enjoy the night and who came to serve that night. (Hopefully those who served enjoyed the night as well!)

Above: admission table and cotton-candy maker Ryan (he was COVERED with cotton candy by the end of the night and must have had a very sore arm b/c he never moved from this position the whole night!)

Below: Kara gets her face painted by a clown who looks very much like a good friend named Paige! My dad and John working hard in the kitchen. Andy's mom working at the overflowing table of baked goods. Real live goldfish for prizes and two balloon artists made things extra fun!

garage sale madness

2008-07-22T13:42:00.006-04:00

We had a garage sale in May to raise money for the adoption. We asked friends to donate things for us to sell. We ended up without use of our garage for nearly three months (Mar-Ap-May) and so much stuff to sell we were completely overwhelmed. I wish we had taken a picture of our garage. It was piled five to six feet high with stuff. This is what it looked like on the day of the sale. Crazy, crazy, crazy is all I can say. It took hours for Andy and me and my very good friend Angie to unload everything from our garage and out into the open. Andy's mom came to help and another dear friend Christina came to rescue us all from exhaustion! It was hot, hot, hot and busy. We planned on doing the sale the next day as well (Saturday), but that was when the record amount of rain poured down all day and we had to postpone the sale until the following weekend. That day was just as hot and busy. We had tons and tons of things leftover. We sent what seemed like a million bags of clothing to a local church that was taking clothing donations to Honduras for a mission project. We took the leftover toys and household things to Goodwill. So, even the leftovers went to a great cause. All in all, we made about $1,500 from the two days! That is the cost of one plane ticket to China. We were so grateful. But, YIKES, it was a ton of work! And my, oh my, do we all have too much "stuff" in our lives.

Getting the bedroom(s) ready

2008-07-22T12:46:00.006-04:00

No updates on our paperwork. But things were busy at home this weekend. In preparation for Caleb joining our family, we moved all the kids into new rooms. The girls were sharing a room until this weekend. Now the girls each have their own room and Nathan and Caleb will have the largest room with the bunk bed to share. It was quite an ordeal shuffling all of their belongings. We moved nearly every single thing from the 3 bedrooms (except the beds). We now have a long list of things to do to make each of the rooms special for the kids. They are all picking out paint colors and having fun putting their things in just the right spot.

Nathan has been upset that he is the only one in the house that doesn't get to share a room with someone. He can't wait for Caleb to come and have a roommate. On the other hand, the girls couldn't move their things away from each other quickly enough. They can not comprehend why Nathan would want to share a room with anyone. Sad but true: you never appreciate what you have and somebody else seems to always have it better than you. At least that is what our kids think!

I have a rather pricey Biblical Worldview Curriculum on my list of things to buy for school this year. I think it will be worth the investment and I may need to start that subject first!

i800 form in the mail

2008-07-05T19:56:00.003-04:00

Andy got the i800 form in the mail on Thursday, July 3rd. We had a few questions regarding one part of the application and we are hoping we answered it to the satisfaction of whomever reads it. It was confusing even to "form-filler-outer-extraordinaire" Andy. We sent a letter requesting, begging really (!), for our paperwork to be expedited. I told Andy I feel like we are basically asking to "cut in line" of tons of other people who have been waiting way longer than we have. It is worth a try. And we would really love to have Caleb home as soon as possible. julia.