Saturday, October 2, 2010

listen to those left behind

Hello. For those of you who don't remember me, let me introduce myself. Again. I'm Julia. I like to write it as "julia" b/c capitalizing on the keyboard makes me crazy. And b/c I tend to mis-type my name 90% of the time (usually it ends up as "juila) and the capitalizing always pushes me to 100% failure. And that's annoying...to misspell your own name. But I digress. I do that a lot. I think it's the fact that for the last 12 and 1/2 years I've been a stay at home mom and I tend to always get side-tracked in my actions and thoughts. It translates into not so great paragraph structure.

I'm writing here for the first time in months b/c I actually have something to write about. Again. Adoption! That's right. We're starting our 2nd adoption for our 5th child. Does five sound like a lot? Because it does to my husband and for some reason does not to me. I think it may be b/c I have a lot of homeschool friends and they tend to have larger than average families. So 5 doesn't seem that crazy. Andy, however, lives among the "real world" and out there people tend to think 4 kids is a crazy big family. So he is always hearing, "Oh. 4 kids. That's a lot." And I rarely hear that and even less rarely (I know, so not good grammar) think that. I find the whole thing fascinating...that "big family" is such a relative term.

Anyone who knows me for say, 5 minutes, probably knows that I was ready to go "back to China again to adopt" before we even got on the plane to get Caleb. I just knew that once I came face to face w/a real live orphan, once I touched the hand of child who had never known what a mother's hand felt like, once I walked through an orphanage, once I saw how many kids we would walk away from and leave behind, I could not NOT go back. I could not look at my life and say, "Nope. No more room. We're full. We're busy. We're done." I just could not say that. And trust me, all signs point to us being done. Our 4 bedrooms are full. Our van is almost full. Our calendar is generally full. Our kitchen table perfectly sits 6 and looks full. Our bank account, however, is definitely not full. So we have many, many reasons to be done.

But one of the many reasons why I can not say no is heard in this video. Andy took this on the day we met Caleb in his orphanage last summer. We were walking down the hallway and we heard these lovely voices singing in the background. We peaked into the door and what we saw you won't be able to see b/c we weren't allowed to take any video of the children there. But the image is etched in my mind forever and I'm pretty sure the sound will be etched in your mind as you listen. I can almost guarantee it.



What you don't see is a "classroom" of children standing on a small stage in a room that mimics a school gymnasium. The kids were elementary aged and were standing all tall and proud and were singing. For no one. For absolutely no one. The gym was empty. It should have been full of chairs w/doting parents looking on. But there weren't any parents. In fact, there were no chairs. Because no one was coming to hear them sing. And no one would ever hear their beautiful song. Their voices were echoing through hallways. Hallways that were always full of children and never full of parents. And I whispered to Andy, "No one is coming." And I cried. And that, my friend, is one of the many reasons why we're going back to China. How can we not?

14 comments:

Jolene and Dan Powell said...

I remember you because you were one of the few who waited longer and whose paperwork took about as long as mine! I am so glad you are adopting again and I hope this time it goes much faster. Are you going to be LID first or are you thinking of a Special Focus Child? Congratulations!

Tara said...

Congratulations, Julia! Beautiful story. I get onto the Reece's Rainbow website and see all those precious kids with Down syndrome and weep and pray. We are so blessed to know so many people finally coming to rescue them. So happy that you are going back to China to rescue yours, whoever she may be.

Tim said...

Amen sister. I can not not go back either.

Jewels of My Heart said...

How can we not....
God's Speed...

Team Houston said...

Oh I wish we were going with you.

What a touching post! So true.

So happy that you will be bringing another child home.
xoxo Michele

Tami and Bobby Sisemore Family said...

I can soooo relate to this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelly said...

Julia,
I happened by your blog from No Hands but Ours. I smiled and teared up through this whole post b/c I could have written. It is so much of how I feel. We brought our daughter home from China in 2007. We are now in the process of our second adoption, fifth child, from Korea. (We didn't qualify for China due to the income requirement) I am a homeschool mom as well. I did a post from David Platt's Radical about being changed once you see and hold an orphan--we cannot help but, with the Lord's direction, to keep going to the orphan and opening our home. It was simple for us--we now had a face and a smile that represented 147 million and we can't wait to meet our newest little son or daughter!
I would love to follow your journey to your fifth child, as well.
Love, Kelly from minus1project.blogspot.com

Elyssium Earth said...

Hi Julia, I read this on NHBO and I thought this post was perfect. Thankyou. There are so many people that I would like to understand why I care so much. This will help. Let's just hope I stop crying! Best wishes.

bbmomof2boys said...

Read this on NHBO and I hope you don't mind, but I've adapted it a bit, posted it on FB and sent it to my husband who does not want to adopt again. God is calling US to adopt again but my husband isn't ready to listen yet. Hopefully he will soon!

Hugs,
Carla

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

Congratulations!!! We too are going back to China to adopt our 5th child...full table...empty bank acct. But God has all we need to complete this adoption!

Godspeed to your little one!

Love and blessings,
Robin

Maggie said...

Hi...I am the mom of 6 beautiful Chinese daughters. Just last week, we withdrew our oldest daughter who is in 7th grade from school. We are new homeschoolers and I found your blog....I am going to use some of your favorites. I really need some help!!!! Can you email me? Holpeet@aol.com. Thank you so much.

Maggie

Flamingo Mama said...

love your blog...love your post:) i have 3 bio and 1 adopted daughter from china. i used to think about going back. but now i don't...until i read a post like this. sigh. let's keep it a secret from my husband:)

i love your homeschooling post. i have 2 in public and 2 ready to go. every year. every day i think about homeschooling htem. yet i dont'. and i always wonder if i'm making the wrong decission. truth is i'm scared about it all...how will i handle life? will i teach them well enough? will they end up being dorks? :) will my chinese daughter be around enough diversity in the small homeschool community? pray. i know:)

trina said...

Hi Julia!! Catching up on my blogs...and saw your beautiful post! I'm still all teary from reading it at NHBO. So..ok...when do we get details???!!!! And a picture for Alexis to decorate and put on your sidebar. I can't wait to see. :)

Oatsvall Team said...

oh my word ... what a great post ... a look into your heart ... thanks for sharing ...

i did what you asked and added a high school picture to our annv. post ... i seriously had something wrong w/ me when i choose that floral headband !!! lol ...

blessings on your journey to China !! thank for checking in on me !!!