I loved you then...

Today is Caleb's 1/2 birthday. If you have kids like mine, you know this is an important day. Caleb will discover this special day next year! Until then, we are thanking God that we have him with us in our hearts and have a few pictures to make him seem a little bit closer.

My prayer for Caleb today is pretty much summed up in the song "I Loved You Then" (on my playlist on the sidebar, if it isn't playing right now). When we finally get to see Caleb and invite him into our family, these are the words I will tell him. We loved you then. We love you now. And tomorrow.

Even before Caleb knew we existed, we loved him. While his life was going on as normal, we were loving him even then. We'll look back on days like today and tell him how much we loved him. Even way back on a snowy day in December.

And it is such a clear picture of how God loves us. Even in our sin, he loved us then. He loved us when we didn't even know about Him. He came to us, paid the ransom for our lives with his very own life. He loved us then. And He loves us now. And forever. We get to actually live out the hope of the gospel through the blessing of adoption. It is showing me the heart of God in new ways. And it really is the story of all of us who accept His invitation and become children of God.

Here are the words to the song. I can't listen to it without tears.


Pain touches everyone
Heartache falls on every heart
And all of us go through the storm
It doesn't matter who you are
And you're up against the wind
And you feel you've lost your way
Listen to me say

I loved you then
I love you now
I will love you tomorrow
When this world breaks you down
I will give you strength to stand
Look to me
Take my hand and just believe
Before this day ever began
I loved you then

Time changes everything
Moments fly by like the wind
And you can try to hold on so tight
But you'll never get time back again
Oh you feel stuck with your mistakes
Can't turn anything around
And it seems there's no way out

I won't let you go
Not even for a minute
So don't lose hope

thinking of Caleb and Nathan turns 6!

It's Christmas time and we're thinking about our Caleb...

This Christmas we'll be rejoicing over the birth of our Saviour, Jesus. And we'll also be rejoicing over the birth of our newest son, Caleb, whom we haven't met yet but love as if he were here. We are missing you, Caleb.


Good mom, bad mom stories..

I'll start with the bad mom story so I can end on a good note.

Nathan turned six on Friday. We have been counting the days for his 6th birthday for 364 days. Yes, the countdown for birthdays always begins the day after a birthday celebration around here. Makes for a l-o-n-g wait, but the kids do it none the less. So, you'd think that I would have a few b-day candles on hand, right? No, not me. I recently decluttered one of my always cluttered kitchen drawers and threw away all the used and random b-day candles thinking, of course, that I would replace them with nice new ones that all matched. Well, that was several weeks ago and a lot of life happened between then and Friday and not one time did I think about candles. I ended up scrambling around for some on Friday. The only option at 8:30 pm?...

Six purple tealight candles. I will forever have proof of my not-so-great-mom moment. It was pretty funny though. And even funnier that Nathan didn't even seem to notice or care.

And now, on to my good mom story. After three kids, I have learned a few things. Some I don't learn until after the fact. Some I learn just in the right time. And some I actually learn and get to put into practice. One of my best parenting tips is this: don't push your kid to do any "age appropriate" task that really doesn't matter and will eventually come in time. And this is why...Andy and I realized that Nathan was about to turn six and neither of us had even attempted to teach him how to tie his shoes. Now Kara, on the otherhand, oh, we spent forever teaching her and probably started when she was three years old or something crazily optimistic like that. Not Nathan. He's our third and things are much different in his life. So, a few days before his sixth b-day I think, uh oh, he should have learned this when he was five, right? Isn't this something every kindergartner should know? I put him on the couch and say, "Nate, let me show you how to tie your shoes." And you know what? He learned. Right then and right there. No tears, no emotional breakdowns, no days and weeks and months of trying. Just one day. One lesson. So, now my six year old can tie his shoes. He can also fold his laundry, make his bed, take a shower, sweep the floor, empty the trash, change the toilet paper roll, clean bathtubs and showers and sinks, mop the floors (by hand, on his hands and knees!), dust the baseboards and a whole host of other helpful things! Welcome to the world of DO IT YOURSELF, Nathan. Your mommy is thrilled to finally see you here! julia.

A little bit of fun while waiting...

My friend Nyla, aka "the stamping lady" according to my kids, had a great idea to make our waiting-on-China-time go a bit faster...or at least seem a bit more fun. She came up with an idea to make a CountUP to Caleb Calendar. We went over to her craft studio yesterday to make it. The kids decorated the front of the calendar and punched out paper shapes to glue on to each day of the calendar. Now each morning, one of them gets to pick a fun paper shape and glue it onto the calendar for the day. And leave it to Anna to figure out a way to make it all perfectly fair. As soon as we got home, she immediately marked every date on the calendar with the initials K, A or N to designate who gets to glue the shape on for the day. Yes, she inherited my love of systems.

Here are a few close ups of the calendar:

And as for my special way of making the wait time seem worthwhile...I committed to lose one pound and gain one bible memory verse for every week that we wait to hear from China. I'm on week two and am down 2.5 lbs and up to verse number 2 as of today. Not bad for me. I'm not sure how successful I'll be at losing weight. I just love food too much! I am bringing out all the tricks though. I bought healthy snacks yesterday and had the girls organize little snack bags of all the "goodies" (and I do use the word "goodies" rather hesitantly!). Hopefully, it will keep me from begging for stale Halloween candy from them. That is my weakness about 3:00pm everyday. Today I'm going to make myself think about nuts and dried fruit. Mmm....I'm trying to make it sound good. It's rather hard! Hopefully it will somehow balance out calories from the doughnuts I ate this morning...


So, bring on the wait, China! We're making it worthwhile and fun here! julia.

dossier is there...and I'm trying to laugh today

China update: I got a call from our agency on Tuesday to tell us that our dossier was hand delivered to the CCAA Monday. We were a bit disappointed b/c we thought that happened last week. Yet another small delay. It is all adding up. We should have our log in date this week or early next week. We won't find out exactly when the log in date is/was for several weeks. Point is: still waiting.

And I just had to post about our day today. Listen to this....

Right after breakfast, Nathan bombards me with pleas to read a chapter of "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" to him. I do. Anna knows this and runs upstairs to prepare a test for him. Background info for you: Anna has an unusual deep love/fascination/sort of unhealthy obsession with the Narnia books and anything Narnia related. She has basically crowned herself queen of anything Narnia and has loved the fact that Nathan has not been able to read the books or see the movie. But her Narnia-claimed throne has been threatened. Nathan is almost six and I decided that he was old enough to understand the book. So I started reading it to him. The rule in our house is that you can not watch the movie until you have read the book (for movies that are based on books). So he is nearing the time when he can watch THE movie. He only has three more chapters to go in THE book and Anna is nearly boiling over in anger that her brother will now be able to watch HER movie about HER book. Obsession to the fullest.

So, this is what I find the two of them doing a few moments after I finished chapter 14 today.

Anna had made a quiz for Nathan, based on one of her "all about Narnia" books that she has. In this photo, she is informing him that he got 9 out of 18 right. Or, in her mind, 9 wrong. She is telling him he only got 50% right (which she knows is an "F" is real schools and which Nathan thinks sounds quite good because it is a way bigger number than the 9 he just heard). He is super smiley and mostly just thrilled that she is allowing him in her room AND to lay on her bed. She is not so smiley.

Then we rush off to run errands and as I begin to close the door behind me, I notice the dishwasher has bubbles oozing out of it. All out of it. All over the floor. The kids were all buckled in the car waiting for me. I yell for them to come back inside.

And the clean up crew begins...

Do you know how long and nearly impossible it is to pick up bubbles and get them out of a dishwasher? The girls know.

I had asked the girls to start the dishwasher this morning and, apparently, they weren't familiar with the difference between dishwasher detergent and Palmolive. We generally use those nice gel tablets in the dishwasher, but we ran out and I was trying to save $ by using the cheap pour-it-in-yourself-stuff. The girls know how to do the gel tabs, but have never seen me use anything else.

By the time we left (for the second time), we were all starving b/c by now it was lunch time. So we stopped at McD's to eat a cheap and fast lunch (a great way to make you feel sick for the day, which I now do). Then it was off to the County Health Department. The kids and I were all getting flu shots and we could get them there way cheaper than anywhere else. And there is a reason it is cheaper...note to anyone who lives here: Do NOT be tempted to save $ and go there. Uggh. Totally disgusting. I totally feel like I walked out of there having been exposed to way more germs than I would have likely been exposed to all winter long. The flu shot is not going to protect me against the nasty germs I probably picked up there. Over an hour later, we were finally done and I felt like we all needed a hot bath. But I had to stop and get the kids frozen cokes b/c I had promised that to them as a celebration after the shots. Well, one of the celebratory frozen cokes (orange flavored and bright orange colored, I might add) spilled all over the van. Yes. Perfect.

By the time we got home, Kara and I both were feeling not so good. We were the two scaredy-cats of the family and opted for the flu mist instead of the shot. Apparently, it is more likely that you'll have mild flu-like symptoms from the mist vs. the shot. Good thing we have nothing planned this weekend.

All of this and it is only 3:00. And I have a counter full of dirty dishes and a dishwasher that will likely need to run through several cycles to get all of the ever-expanding bubbles out of it.

One day this will be funny. Right? I'm trying really hard to laugh now. It's barely coming out as a tiny smile. Barely. julia.

Take a look at this cutie!!

I woke up this morning to several emails with TONS of photos of Caleb attached! The Craven family offered to deliver a gift to him and the orphanage directors let them personally give it to him! It's been exactly 5 months since the Houstons did the same thing for us. He looks about the same and seems to be just as smiley. One of the things we sent him was a tiny stuffed pillow with a picture of Andy and me on it. That is what he is holding in a few of the pictures (and kissing it and hugging it!!). Here is what the Cravens emailed us about him...

"He is a very interactive, sweet, smiley, and snuggley little boy...you will so enjoy him and it appears bonding may not be so difficult...at least from appearances! He imitated right away in English too!!"

"Julia and Andy....your son is SOOO ADORABLE!!!!! We were at Chengdu CWI today and recieved our son...when we asked if we could see your son and give him your package and take pictures...they just lit up like Christmas trees!! They LOVE him there. The worker said to me "He is very fat or chubby and has a lot of personality, he is a lot of fun!" Then she pointed at another lady and said "he is her favorite!". They brought him in and WHAT A DOLL BABY!! Ohh boy he is so happy and spunky! He just smiled and smiled. We put your package in a ziplock for travel and then decorated it with curly red and gold ribbons last night so he would feel like he was opening a present. When he saw it he just beamed. They told him it was from his Mama and Baba..then he turned to me and said with enthusiasm and a big smile....Mama! Baba!!! He kept saying that as he looked at me and I said Yes!! uh..No! and we opened the package and showed him the pillow and pointed at you and said Mama, Baba! He smiled and looked at you with such a happy face!! He hugged the pillow.....we kept trying to get a good photo but our camera is soooo crumby we missed most of the smiles but got a bunch of photos...I will send them to you a little at a time as it takes so long here!! He is very loved and very well taken care of there. He is a super happy boy and I didnt think he was fat or chubby at all...maybe bc his checks are full. He has a little scrape on one of his cheeks but he looks GREAT otherwise!! He is very loving and went to all the ladies and to me very easily"......

Isn't he so cute?!...even with girly clothes on! I don't know if you could tell from the photos and video we got back in June, but he had his pants on backwards in those. And he had a pink sweater on in the photos we got from the orphanage in April. Poor thing. They either let him dress himself or just don't have enough boy clothes. But despite girl clothes, dirty pants, and a face full of scrapes, we think he's one of the two most adorable little boys in the world! The other being Nathan, of course!

We are just so thrilled that someone we don't even know took such an interest and went out of their way to do such a loving thing for us! God has provided us with just the right people at just the right time to bring us a little closer to Caleb. What an incredible blessing. I am looking forward to being able to do the same thing for another family when we finally get to go to China.

Well, that's it. These are likely the last photos we'll have of him until we see him in person. Our dossier (paperwork) should be logged into China's system by now. We won't know the official log in date for a few weeks/months, I think. But our best guess at this point is that we could be in China around March, maybe April. It keeps getting pushed back and back. There isn't anything we can do. It is all in God's timing and we are fine waiting on that. julia.

Beijing and a little about me

China news first. The family that is taking gifts to Caleb for us is in Beijing right now. They will be in the orphanage on Sunday. You can follow their journey on their blog. We're hoping for some pictures of Caleb!

And a little about me next. I've been "tagged" by Michele AND Trina. Here is what it means:

I used the rules from Trina and the number of items from Michele...(See the cute "tagged" picture above? Please look at it closely, read it, and enjoy it for a minute before you read on b/c I spent entirely too long getting that silly thing on here and I'd hate to think it was all wasted time!!)

1. Rachel Ray has nothing on me. I should have marketed my style of cooking long before she came along and I could have been a bizillionaire like her. I can make dinner in less than 20 minutes, easy. And I can do it all with a kid literally hanging on my leg (or on my hip), while answering a math question, carrying a somewhat meaningful conversation with someone on the phone, and keeping an eye on kids in the backyard.

2. And speaking of food, I can do anything with a pound or two of chicken, pork or hamburger. Problem is I can never re-create it if it is good. One of my recent dishes involved pork, a bottle of toasted sesame asian dressing and some carrots I had in the back of the refrigerator. I put it all in the crockpot and, well, that's it. Mmm. So good. I told my friend Emily about it a while ago and she loved it too. Funny thing is that I totally forgot about it until she mentioned who she had passed the recipe on to. I said, really? And how did I make that? And then what did I do? And I made mashed potatoes with it too? REALLY? And I poured the dressing over the potatoes? That WAS a good idea, wasn't it?!

3. I love systems. Some may call it OCD or type A personality, I just like to think that I enjoy systems. I have a system for everything. And a place for everything. My closet is organized by color, season and type of clothing. Jeans are all hung together (never smashed in a drawer), jackets lined up in color order, long sleeves all together (in color order) etc. It is easy to do and maintain when you have a few things in your wardrobe and that's it. My husband wouldn't say I have "a few" things in my closet. Considering I generally wear all the same colors, it probably looks like I have no clothes. But that black shirt that I seem to wear everyday isn't really ONE black shirt. I have tons of plain black shirts. I like what I like, ok?! And it's all about systems! In theory, it's a great idea. In reality, we have five people who live here, three of whom could care less about my systems. So in the end, my house is just as messy as anyone else's house. But my side of the closet looks GREAT!

4. I am addicted to chapstick. It started with lipstick. I used to put in on everyday no matter what, even if I stayed home all day. That got expensive, I guess, b/c gradually I ended up using just chapstick. I have chapstick all over my house: in the kitchen drawer, in my bathroom, every purse has one, the car, you name it. It's probably there. And I don't use just any old chapstick. It must be Blistex Silk& Shine. I think I need some right now...

5. I don't like movie theaters. They gross me out. I can't stand people chomping on popcorn behind me. I think it is crazy to spend that much $ to see a movie. No movie is that good. Andy loves to go to movies. I forget how much I don't like them and succumb to going once or twice a year. Then I'm reminded how much I hate them. I'd much rather watch a show in the comfort of my own home.

6. Before you think I'm no fun and all uptight, I do have some fun things about me. I play guitar. Well, I used to. If I cut my nails and wanted to live with callouses on my fingers, I could probably play a nice version of Puff the Magic Dragon for you. That was the first song I learned. I played it everyday for hours in my dorm room my freshman year in college. And I could play a dozen or so worship songs from the 1990's. Exciting, I know!

7. I love to listen to music, loudly, in my kitchen while making meals, cleaning up meals, planning meals, and eating meals. Pretty much covers a lot of my day. I have a new love for Playlist. I can get any song I want for free. We just bought speakers for our computer so I can listen to all my playlist music and not have it sound like it's coming from a tin can. I can't sing worth anything, so I just turn up the volume and then I think I sound just like the singer.

8. I love to rearrange furniture. Yep, I've been know to move the piano and everything else not nailed down to the floor all by myself. It is driving me crazy that our couch and loveseat have been in the same place for almost three years now. That is an eternity for me.

9. I have a major addiction to chick-fil-a's sweet tea and chicken tenders. I know the drive-thru workers by name. I'm there every Monday after I grocery shop and generally a few times later in the week. I'm prepping all the kids to get a job there when they're 16 so that I can get a discount or some free tenders&tea!

10. You know what I really want for Christmas? A fancy stainless steel trashcan that automatically opens when you put your hand near it, toothwhitening strips, a bigger crockpot, and a flat iron for my hair (no ironing clothes here, only hair!). True, I am dying for appliances, bleach for my teeth and an anti-fly-away hair iron. Am I totally old and boring or WHAT?! You know what my b-day gift was this year...a toaster oven and a Shark vacuum. Yep, and I was thrilled. Jumping up and down really. And vacuuming my floor on my b-day. Heaven!

If you're interested, you're next...

Tisra

Kelly

Andrea

Jenn

Havilah

Erica

Angie

To China for Owen

Take a look at this sweet new face on my sidebar!

We have been so blessed by the generosity of so many that I just couldn't pass up this opportunity to help someone else out....

I discovered (via my blog-surfing!) a family that is from northern Indiana that is adopting a 2 1/2 year old boy from China. They are expecting to travel to China soon and they still need several thousand dollars to cover the orphanage fee and travel expenses. They are doing a fundraiser on their blog at "tochinaforowen.blogspot.com". They are asking for donations of only $10.00. Each $10.00 donation enters you into a drawing that has a G-R-E-A-T prize package:


A Canon Rebel XSI "mamarazzi dream package" ($1,500)
A Sony camcorder ($400.00)
A custom watercolor painting by Tisra Fadely Originals ($220.00)
100 custom designed announcements or cards, with envelopes, from Your Little Stinker ($100)
A customized sterling silver bracelet set by Silverpie ($60.00)
A Touch of Stardust pleated handbag ($50)
A necklace from Bel Kai Designs ($40)
A handmade baby bloomers set by Milk Bubbles Studio ($25)

The total prize value represented in this giveaway is over $2,400.00!

So, if you have just $10.00 to donate to their adoption, you could possibly find yourself walking away with a ton of great items. And even if you don't win, you are helping to bring a little boy home into a family.

Also, they are doing a second drawing. The prize is a $250 Kate Spade purse. There is NO FEE to enter this drawing. All that they request is that you add their info to your sidebar on your blog (which I will do if I can figure out how to do it!) or post about their fundraiser. That is what I am doing! So, if any of you get a Kate Spade bag for Christmas, you'll know that I won. He hee. It's more like....if you see ME walking around with a new Kate Spade bag, you'll know I've won!

tochinaforowen.blogspot.com

You can read all about the family, the little boy they are adopting, and the details about the drawing and how to donate your $10.00. There are also photos of all the prizes.

And just so you know, I am NOT one to enter giveaways. Andy is generally the optimist in the family and is the one to do those types of things. I am always grumbling that he shouldn't waste his time (or give out our personal inf0) for things like that. I mean, come on, who REALLY wins those things anyway, right? Well, my friend Angie recently won a $15,000 shopping spree from Pottery Barn. So, now I'm a bit more of a believer in at least trying a few things. And with this giveaway, the only one guaranteed to win is a little boy from China. And I'm all for that! julia.