Day 92

If you're in the world of adoption, you know that "Day 90" of waiting to hear from China is not a happy day. It is probably second only to Day 100. Anything over 100 days is ridiculously long and probably accompanied by tears, groaning, complaining, and downright begging and pleading. We're on day 92 today. That is, 92 days of waiting for our LOC from China. Not that we've only been waiting for 92 days. No, we've been waiting for nearly a year now. And not that anyone is counting or anything...(!) And although we're waiting on pins and needles for our golden ticket from China, it doesn't mean that we just hop on a plane when we get it. There's more waiting. But it will be nearing the end. Or actually, nearing the beginning. The beginning of a new life for Caleb and a new life for our family. (And yes, Andy, I do know that most of these last sentences are not real sentences. But I get to write the way I want on my blog. So there!). Can you tell I'm testy and a bit impatient these days? I will confess that I am failing any and all tests of my patience. I am not exactly experiencing and living the Fruit of the Spirit these days. No, I have succumb to my longings to get things done. To just GO. To have a plan that can be clearly marked (in pen, not pencil, I might add) on my calendar. To be able to plan for things w/o the constant "unless we're in China" addendum. And mostly, to just have an end in sight. I don't really care if the end is March (which it won't be at this point) or April (which it had better be for my sanity and the sake of my family that has to live with me) or May (better not be) or June (uhh...not even going there) or whenever. I'd just like to know. And since I can't know and am not God, I'm trying, really really trying to rest in the fact that God has a perfect plan for Caleb and for me and for our family. And that maybe some day I'll look back on this and see the reason for all the delays. Until then, I'm choosing to believe what my mind knows about the character of God. So, another day. Another week. Another month (I may need meds if it gets to this point!). Whatever it is, I'm going to choose to trust God. I will admit, however, that I'm waiting on my feelings to catch up with my mind on this one. julia ~still waiting and not winning any awards for doing it gracefully.