i think He's got the wrong girl

It's been a dreary, hazy, lazy kind of day here in our house. Yes, the sun may be shining briefly now but it doesn't make much of a difference to me at this point. I have heard via a pretty reliable adoption website that there is a possibility that Travel Approvals may not be issued for 20-30 days due to the swine flu. I had a feeling that the flu situation could affect our travel. But I did not think it would be immediate and that it may delay our travel for over a month. Oh, how I seriously do NOT think I can handle any more emotional ups and downs. I just sent an email to our adoption agency on Monday asking for an update on our Travel Approval. Our case worker said she was hopeful we'd get it this week or next. Then today I get the opposite kind of news. Can this be more painful? Really. I keep telling God that I am not the kind of girl that can handle these kind of things. Apparently He either thinks the same thing and is changing me or He thinks I really can handle this all. Whatever it is. I'm not liking it. There. I'll admit it. It's ok. God knows this already. I've already told him about my issues. Not that He needs to be reminded. For some reason, I think He does. I still think He's picked the wrong girl to go through this.

And, just to end things on a better note...

Homeschooling. For me, I'm either loving it or...let's just say, not. Most of the time I love it. And here is one of the many reasons why. I had just peeked into Nathan's room and saw this. I mean, really, how much better does it get for a boy? Doing schoolwork on your bed, in your jammies, listening to Veggie Tales, and disguised as a StormTrooper. I'm telling you, this boy is stinking funny. And half the time he doesn't even know it.

It's from a few months ago. I still laugh every time I see it. Something about Nathan just does that to me.

tuesday

Tuesday. Nothing. To. Report. About. China. Or. Caleb.

9 weeks since our LOC.

14 months since we began this adoption process.

6 and 1/2 weeks until Caleb turns 4.

Swine flu = travel restrictions/complications? I won't be shocked if this becomes an issue for us.

I could go crazy right now. I'm choosing not to. Some days are easier than others. And just when I come close to jumping in the "woe is me, I'm done waiting and can't take it anymore" pit Nathan usually walks into the room and makes me laugh. Every day. Without fail. Here's a sampling of life with Nathan...

Just a few minutes after getting out a 300 piece puzzle. Nathan: "Uh, I don't think I'm going to do this puzzle after all..."

While he is laying on the carpet contemplating whether or not to do the puzzle: "Is carpet just made from animal's fur?"

Yesterday, after about 2 hours of playing outside, he comes to the door soaking wet. Nathan: "Uh, Mom, I need to change my clothes b/c I got sprayed with the fertilizer. I mean, the bug spray. You know, that thing that attaches to the hose?" Me: "So, you're telling me that you're covered with fertilizer or possibly bug spray?" Nathan: "Um. Ya."

"Do you talk with your tongue? Because if you do, that's kind of creepy."

After Andy spends at least 10 minutes frantically searching the house for his beloved Colt's cap, he asks Nathan, "Nate, have you seen my hat?" Nathan: "Oh ya, Dad." Andy: "Well, where is it?" Nathan (with a huge grin on his face): "Welllll, it's on the couch downstairs. Under a blanket." Andy: "Really, it is?" Nathan: "Yes." (insert L-O-N-G pause here)...."Aaaaaand, I sat on it."

hymn

Can you tell that I LOVE music? I do. It's just a shame that I wasn't born with a voice to be able to sing any of them outside the confines of my minivan or kitchen. This song is one of my all time favorites. Actually, I probably have about 500 all time favorites. And as I get older, my favorites list gets longer. That's ok with me. I have so many other things in my life where I have ONE thing I like and that's it. Like restaurants...I generally order the exact same thing at a restaurant and I never, I mean, NEVER sway from my all time favorites. But music, now that's an area I have lots of likes. Anyway, back to the reason for this post. I think of Caleb when I hear this song. I hear the first few lyrics of this and I think, "yes, Caleb, we would. And we are. We are leaving to look for you. We are sailing the farthest seas, we are coming to find you. No matter how far. No matter how long. No matter how hard. No matter how much money. No matter how scary. No matter what. We will seek you and find you. You can not be too far. Ever."

And, of course, if you listen to the whole song, you know that it is being sung to God. She's asking if and how far God will go to find us. Even if we run. Even if God has to forfeit His glory to get to us. I know the answer and I love this song.

Hymn
by Brooke Fraser

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather 'til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures, would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee
If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee

same old story

No travel approval this week. Unlikely it will be next week. Hopefully we'll have it in two weeks.

Our i800 is (finally) out of Guangzhou and on a plane to Beijing right now. It took three weeks to get the US Consulate approval. This is one of the new i800/Hague steps. Add that to the extra 4 weeks it took to get our i800 approval and now you know how frustrating this new process is. It has added nearly two extra months to our LOC to TA wait time.

On the home front...

The kids are responsible for doing their own laundry. Can you tell?...
I'm not sure what is more shocking. The pile of dirty laundry or the fact that there is still a closet full of clean clothes above it.

still waiting

And the continuing paperwork saga drags on and on and on...

It looks like we will NOT be getting our Travel Approval this week. We're on week three of waiting for it. I just found out last night that our i800 didn't even get to the US Embassy in China until last week. For some reason, it took two weeks to get to get there. This is one of the new steps in the i800 process and it is going to end up adding several weeks to our wait. Our i800 has to be approved or looked at or stamped or have something officially done to it in Guangzhou BEFORE it gets sent to Beijing to the CCAA. So, all in all, this is probably a 3 week (maybe more) extra wait added to our already excruciatingly long wait to get to China. So, no China news for at least another week.

As for plans that I actually have control of...

I have finally decided on what curriculum we're going to use for school next year. I haven't made any significant changes to the curriculum for the last few years but next year we're doing a few new things. I'm excited. The kids are excited. Well, they're excited THINKING about the new stuff. We'll see how it all works out in August when they actually have to do the work. So, for all my homeschool friends who love "talking curriculum", here are my plans...etched in black pen on a red wide-ruled student notebook from Target (about as official as it gets around this house):

Kara and Anna (5th/6th grade):
Math U See
Rod & Staff English
IEW Student Intensive Writing
Reading Detective CD-Rom
Apologia science
Mystery of History
Latina Christiana II
Spelling Workout
Studying God's Word (Christian Liberty Press)
Rosetta Stone-Chinese
lots and lots of "real" books from the library


Nathan (1st grade):
Math U See
Explode the Code
Easy Grammar
A Reason for Handwriting
Spelling Workout
Mystery of History
Studying God's Word
Rosetta Stone-Chinese
and a bunch of books from the library

Caleb (adorably cute 4 year old):
toys, crayons, music, tons of books and lots of hugs!

Me:
a nice long bath all by myself (with the door locked!) at the end of the day so I can survive 180 days of it

Ahh, it does feel good to have a plan. And I'm not waiting on anyone to approve it.

New Photos!!!!!!

Here they are...

Photos of Caleb that were taken just about 2 weeks ago!

Is he not THE most adorable little boy in all of China?!! I mean, really, I think he definitely is.

We are within weeks of finally seeing him in person. We should have our travel approval in 1-3 weeks and will leave 2 weeks after we get it. WE'RE SO CLOSE!!