no TA, take 2/EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Just got the 3:00p.m. email from our agency saying that they did NOT get our TA today. They did say that their Beijing contact did confirm that our papers were processed and finalized last week. So, there is still hope that it will arrive this week. It should. Right? I don't even know anymore. I let myself get COMPLETELY worked up and hopeful and giddy about getting our TA yesterday and then today. I can not handle the emotional...

NUH UH!! Guess who just called as I was in the middle of my sentence? NUHHHH UHHHH!

We GOT IT! As soon as our agency sent the email the delivery truck pulled up.

Ok, did I say emotional roller coaster?! Uhh, ya. More later.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!

Tentative dates are June 12-June23 or June 19-June 30.

We'll know dates for sure by Friday or early next week.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!

Got to make some phone calls!

no TA today

Not much else to add to the title. I just received an email from our agency telling us that if the TA were to arrive today it would be there by now and it isn't there. It will make my evening more relaxing now b/c I won't be anticipating a phone call.

Still super hopeful that it will come tomorrow.

past my due date

I did not expect to feel pregnant. But I am feeling 15 months pregnant.

I am way, way, WAY past my due date. But labor pains are slowly being felt. I think.

The word in the Chinese adoption world is that Travel Approvals were sent last week. There is a good, almost unbelievably good, possibility that we will get our TA tomorrow. Eeek? Did I just say that?

It has made this holiday weekend seem like the longest weekend ever. I am super hopeful that we'll have news tomorrow. It would be a perfect day for it. It's my birthday tomorrow.

I never have birthday wishes. But I will tomorrow. Do they still come true?

in the meantime...

The only China news that we have been getting is not good news. Although no one really knows what is going on with the CCAA or when we'll get our TA, the word is that China will not be sending TAs until June. Sadly, that is the good news. Some are speculating it could be September. But a few others seem to still think we could get our TA any day. Our adoption agency is telling us it could be anytime and they are hopeful we'll get it soon. Somehow, though, after 11 weeks of hearing that, I'm not too inclined to believe it anymore.

So, in the meantime, life goes on as usual here. Here are a few pictures from last week...

I'm slowly trying to get Andy used to using our new camera. Since I'm generally behind the camera, this is a rare photo of me (with my girls!)...

Nathan is LOVING his first season of baseball but Andy is most excited, I think. He has been waiting for +6 years for Nathan to play.

Kara played two soccer games on Saturday. She went from playing with the boys and covered in mud from the wet field and rain to...

all glammed up for her dance recital the next day.

And last, but not least, is Anna. She is covered in stage make-up as well for the recital. It hides most of her freckles which I think are her most adorable features.

may 12

It was exactly one year ago today that tragedy struck China. A 7.9 earthquake occurred just 50 miles from Chengdu. Over 70,000 people died and millions were left homeless. Caleb's orphanage was slightly damaged. The children ended up being evacuated from the building and lived in make-shift tents for a while. It was the longest, most difficult part of the past year for us. I could not sleep for days b/c I knew that his orphanage was lacking basic necessities at the time. When I heard that they were in need of blankets for the kids b/c they were sleeping outside and it was cold at night, I completely lost it. I had closets FULL of blankets, and quilts, and sheets, and comforters and yet could do nothing at all to help. The thought of Caleb trying to sleep outside on a cold night was too much for me to handle.

So, although it isn't easy being in limbo right now and not knowing when we will be able to go to China, nothing was as hard as this day last year. I'm thankful that he is safe tonight. And warm. And so very close to being home.

of all places

Guess where the first reported case of swine flu in China is?

Chengdu.

Of all places.

The very city our Caleb is in.

We'll just have to wait and see how this all plays out and what this may mean for our travel plans. Well, that is if we are even able to make travel plans. We're still waiting on our TA.

I'd love to try and see the good in all of this. But right now I can't. Once again, I'm choosing to trust that God knew these details even before they came to be.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55: 8-9

how many ways?

I'm not sure how many ways I can say the same thing. So I won't even try.

1. We're waiting.

2. We have no idea when we'll get our Travel Approval.

3. All previous guesses were wrong.

4. Is there a nicer way to say "I'm sick of waiting"? If so, insert it here { }.

The last week has been a mess of ups and downs. The swine flu (or h1whatever the pig industry sensitive name is) has or has not been holding our travel approval up. Ya, that's about as much info we have on that right now. It's all speculation and lot of "so and so said this" and "so and so said the opposite". It ends up just making me an emotional mess and leaves us in exactly the same place. Waiting.

And this has been a particularly hard time to have delays because Caleb's birthday is next month. He turns 4 on June 12. We had planned on that being his first birthday party at home. I will have the hardest time ever if we don't have answers by then. If we don't get our Travel Approval within the next few weeks, he won't be home by then.

I will stop at that because nothing good comes from me thinking about the "what ifs" and the "could have beens." It leads to a dark and teary place for me. Instead I will stand on these promises:

The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.
Proverbs 15: 3


Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 55:22


Our God comes;
he does not keep silence;
before him is a devouring fire,
around him a mighty tempest.
Psalm 50: 3


The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34: 18